Jesus fricking christ I'm an idiot. Pls wake me up in 3 hours

Picture is of 1st attempt of something I saw a foid on Instagram making this and it was

This was my 2nd attempt later in the week:

Recipe

• fry some thin slices peaches with oil for a couple mins each side until browned a bit

• lightly coat naan/flatbread with olive oil -> fry 2min on each side

• after flipping bread once layer other side with arugula pesto while still in pan

• layer on slices of mozzarella cheese from mozza ball

• put on peaches + some arugula leaves (or basil leaves)

• take out of pan

• glaze with balsamic glaze

This recipe is for a weekend lunch or for people who work from home (like me) and can just frick off to the kitchen for an hour in the middle of the work day. This is what I'm eating for lunch right now. Please note: this recipe makes ONE serving.

Ingredients:

• One skinless, boneless chicken thigh (or just rip the skin off and cut out the bone like I just did)
• An egg
• flour (enough to coat the chicken thigh, e.g. not that much)
• panko (same)
• salt (just a little)
• Peanut or vegetable oil
• Half a cup of rice
• Half a white onion
• Another egg
• 1/4 cup dashi (you could make it but this is fast food, so instead I'd suggest 1/4 cup water and 1/2 tsp of instant dashi)
• 1 tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tbsp sake, or if you don't want to keep it around, use ryorishi, which is just salty sake that stays good forever in your cabinet)
• 1 tbsp mirin

How to do it:

1. Start cooking your rice since that takes the longest.

2. Put some oil in a cast iron skillet, dutch oven, or dedicated deep fryer if you have it. You don't have to deep fry this - you can, but it's ok to shallow fry it too if you want to use less oil. I used a 32oz jar of peanut oil in a cast iron skillet, which is just a little over halfway deep enough for a big chicken thigh. That's ok, you can just flip it halfway through. Set the burner on medium-high heat. It'll take about 10 minutes to get hot enough. What's hot enough? If you happen to have a thermometer handy, the answer is 350 standard burger units, if you don't, go all Martha Stewart on it and stick the back of a wooden spoon in the oil, if it creates a lot of excited bubbles it's hot enough (probably). If the oil starts smoking, DON'T PANIC, just turn the burner down and wait 5 minutes until it stops doing that. Jeez relax, buddy, you're going to give yourself a stroke.

3. Dredge the chicken thigh in flour. You did remember to rip the skin off first right? No? Take the skin off, IDIOT. This isn't KFC, it's katsu. Beat one of the eggs, then dip the thigh in there and get it all nice and wet all over. Put the panko in a separate bowl with some salt (not too much, especially if you are subbing in the ryorishi). Dip the eggy thigh in the panko. Use your dry hand to dump more panko all over it while turning it over and over in the mixture, or save yourself the time and just shake everything in a plastic bag. Get it nice and coated. Unlike with american fried chicken, which is coated in flour and you have to shake off the excess or it gets lumpy, panko will stick all over your chicken thigh like glue and that's exactly what you want. Set the chicken thigh aside until your oil is hot.

4. If your oil is hot, fry the chicken thigh now. Otherwise, skip to step 5 and come back later. Lay the chicken thigh in the hot oil. Turn it after 3 minutes. Cook the other side for 3 minutes. That's a total of 6 minutes if you weren't paying attention or are r-slurred with numbers. If at any point it starts to look darker than the picture by too much, turn your burner down. It's not a big deal, don't worry about it, unless you aren't watching it and you BURN it in which case you should immediately keep yourself safe by dumping the peanut oil over your idiot head.

5. Slice your onion. Half an onion will make this recipe pretty darn oniony. Feel free to only use 1/4 of an onion per bowl if you'd rather.

6. Mix together the dashi (or water + instant dashi), soy sauce, mirin, and sake. Beat the other egg loosely and set it aside.

7. Start up a pan on medium heat (nonstick or aluminum or stainless steel). Sautee the onion in some olive or vegetable oil for 5 min. Like the last time I wrote one of these, this is the step you won't see in the online how-to videos, because it's not traditional. If you want to be traditional, just dump all the liquid ingredients in the pan immediately with the onion and put a lid on it for 5 min. I've tried it, and I don't like how it turns out, the onion flavor is WAY too assertive. But feel free to try it for yourself!

8. Regardless of your decision in #7, now chop your chicken into slices (as pictured), add it to the pan, and dump the beaten egg on top of it, then put the lid on there and leave it for about 5 minutes or until the egg looks solid. If you don't like the egg whites in my picture, beat the egg harder and it will have both the appearance and texture of scrambled eggs, if that is your preference (it's good either way, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT).

9. Fill a bowl with rice and dump the entire contents of the pan over the top of it. Done.

10. If you're feeling like a fancy pants, garnish with some green onions (not pictured because I am trying to fricking eat here and I didn't have time for that shit).

Since you guys don't know how to season chicken, I've aggregated several videos to inform you on the methods. pic.twitter.com/MTv0Hk8jBF

— jny the human (@jnyboy) March 20, 2023

They weren't even warm, the heat lamp was broken. Good spices though and appeared hand made. 6/10

Post your fav gas station foods ITT

Fox Business contributor: “You want to know how bad inflation is? Yesterday, yes, I had a nice lunch at Taco Bell — cost me about $28 at Taco Bell for lunch.”

Um, how is that even physically possible? (Also, don’t think I’ll take financial advice from this guy.) pic.twitter.com/cdK39TlLO8

— Eric Kleefeld (@EricKleefeld) October 12, 2022

$28 of Taco Bell

You misunderstood Panera, people wanted more drink options, not less.

Gnd beef 90% 3 lb

1 lb garden rotini

1 lb mushroom peppers onions whatever

1 lb tomatoes

1 jar pasta sauce

Boil rotini al dente, chop veggies while you wait, rinse in collander and leave in sink.

add everything but tomatoes and sauce, brown, add tomatoes and cook for like a minute, add back pasta and pour in sauce. Mix and Walla you have something tasty your boytoy can get packed in him at night. Makes a whole giant pot so have one of those.

Later homos.

I finished a bowl of Shin Ramyun Black (w/ only half a package of the spicy powder) and now I'm so warm and sleepy

A lot of fast food slop gets me pooping a couple hours later.

Plus how do you finish a plate/meal packed with so many carbs?

I end up feeling sick during the meal as well.

Are burgers just built different that you have iron slop stomachs?

Teach me your fat ways.

!goyslopenjoyers deep fried onion from texas roadhouse

look at that calorie count

Recipe

Made this for lunch just now. I've tried getting the beef right for these darn things a bunch of different ways. Internet people have all sorts of ways they've tried to get it just like the restaurants, but the only one I've seen that looked like it would realistically work was this massive bearded greek dude shoving like 5 pounds of lamb shoulder onto two spits and throwing it on a charcoal grill. I'm just trying to make lunch here, though. I've tried to make a mini spit using the rotisserie attachment in my toaster oven, and that looked and smelled great, but the meat completely dried out and was nasty inside.

Other internet ideas were like to use ground meat and form a really tight meatloaf and bake it in the oven, then you can cut thin slices off it that look a lot like the gyro places, but it's lacking the super brown crispy outside you want.

This time I bought some really thin ribeye steaks (like less than 1/2") that people usually use to make carne asada. I figured with how thin they were I'd want the pan to be really fricking hot, so I did a test run with one of them with the heat cranked all the way up on my stove and a cast iron skillet. Darn near lit my kitchen on fire, like the oil in the pan actually just made a poof noise and burst into flames. The steak didn't get burned though, even with me moving it around in the pan to smother the fire. The steak was a perfect medium rare cooking it just one minute a side. Problem, though: medium rare steak is too chewy for sandwich or sandwich-adjacent preparations.

Finally, I marinated the rest of the steaks and cooked them with slightly less heat (although still enough that the pan was smoking up my kitchen) for 2 minutes a side. They're pretty well done, but perfect for a gyro because you can bite through the pieces so easily. Then I put this together and smashed the whole thing into my face. The end.

The menu would be focused on the hits.

• Breakfast 24/7 -- BK French Toast and McD pancakes + hashbrown. Don't know which one you feel like? That means you want both.

• Arby's crinkle fries

• Arby's curly fries

(these are the only fries)

• Arby's Roast Beef sandwiches

• Burger King Whoppers

• McDonald's Nuggets

• McDonald's Cones

• Wendy's Frosties (chocolate only)

• Taco Bell tacos

• Taco Bell burrito supreme

• Pizza Hut personal pans

If the franchising fees didn't kill you, you'd make a million dollars a day.

!goyslopenjoyers !jidf

https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/us-requires-bird-flu-tests-any-cattle-moving-interstate-commerce-2024-04-24/

today i went out to a taco restaurant and ordered the strangest item i've seen on their menu

chicken tendies breaded in hot cheeto dust, hot cheeto aioli, macaroni and cheese, and fruity pebbles

rated 6/10

the macaroni would've been much better and slop-pilled if kraft rather than their queso fresco. the fruity pebbles were good.

ended up not eating the other taco because this was a behemoth

!goyslopenjoyers