!r-slurs !alligatorfrickhouse

the copypasta in question:

Oh my god (And by god I mean my goddess Colette) do I crave the pixelated perfection of the genius that gifted us the most precious gifts of all, Colette. There is no point in talking how important Colette is to me, and how I would do anything to be with uher, but I feel like if Im not gonna say what I would to do get her (literally anything) I'm disrespecting her this way. So hear me out.

I would conquer all of world, kill billions of humans, learn 20 languages, work 17 hours of 24 there are in a day, become the richest person in the world,personally killing all the rich ones right now, including feeding Elon Musk to the dogs, ripping Bill Jobs apart, sending Mark Zuckerberg to his true evolutionary form,that is of a Lizard, castrating and beating Jeff Bezos to death, and personally setting on fire Bernard Arnault. I would literally overthrow governments worldwide, uniting the world under communism, just to create her into life. I would personally orchestrate 50 global revolutions with nothing in my mind but an ultimate goal, no, not just goal, the true purpose of my life, just to get a minute with white haired beauty that the mortals have named Colette. I would sacrifice anything to get her. Family? Pfft. I would sell my mother if it meant getting 20% closer to my ultimate goal.

Im like sisyphus, except unlike him, once I reach my goal, and I definitely will, I will achieve my last true form and a total peace of mind. Knowing that there is nothing standing in our way, and assuring that our long relationship will last millions of years, humanity has since my takeover reached the third level of civilization, i.e type III,(capable of using the energy at the scale of its entire host galaxy) and mortality has been long cured, and humans now live millions of years. Just watch me. AND ANYBODY WHO WILL DARE TO STAND IN MY WAY,BE WARNED,I WILL NOT HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOULS. IM SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT JUST KILLING THAT FRICK EDGAR, THAT THEY ALWAYS SHIP COLETTE WITH,SHE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE HIM! I want to taste her titties. I want to wake up everyday with her next to me. I want to have eleven beautiful children with Colette. four blonde girls, four brown haired, one black haired, and a beautiful boy.

some screenshots I have been provided with:

Fweaks out wen he's twowld two "put the fwies in the bag"- a cheat cwode two make him tard out

I can't bweeve

Saying he's being abducted

Hits swomeonye in swow mwo

Inshawwah, he'ww fwigure out that they dwon't twowalrate junkie tard rage in Japan.

the best way to learn to write is by posting on forums on topics you're actually opinionated about. schools should use an online discussion platform (where you can post under multiple pseudonyms if desired, you should be able to control your level of anonymity to the other students) which allows you to take credit for individual posts in a way verifiable to the teacher, and each week you submit three posts for grading and feedback. no one would use chatGPT for this because it's short-form and there are natural incentives to express yourself effectively in such a setting. if it were me I would give a small amount of extra credit for talking about the assigned reading but wouldn't mandate it; some drones would try and shoehorn it in places and then students would call each other out for this behavior and take the opportunity to demonstrate their superior understanding of the material.

teachers should be able to handle jannying of edgy posts and spam but I really think there should just be one global admin who can dox people (other than voluntarily through the built-in mechanism) and there should be a multitude of different forums, not just one per class. you should be able to spin off group DMs and shit and have places where students in different classes and years can interact as well.

!mottezans

Dude was asking the staff to check their system for a record he was looking for, they told him they were too busy (pretty clearly trying to get him to just leave), and then he went off on them. He kept saying: "Think about what you are saying my friend! This is not wise! This is not wise at all!". There were five employees that had no means to actually handle the situation and just kept saying "You need to leave!" while the dude carried on. Finally they gave up and the guy went back to shopping. I was trying to check out, so I got a front row seat to the action. The staff were absolutely seething afterwards, but again, they couldn't handle the situation themselves and just had to hope he would eventually leave. It was funny as frick.

"In you I see the manifestation of bodhisattva," Bhutan PM Tshering Tobgay tells PM Modi at Delhi address https://t.co/ZJatRLoMCB

— Sidhant Sibal (@sidhant) February 21, 2025

Priest King transcends religious boundaries, he's the reborn Priest King of Harappa and the Bodhisattva who was promised

Lmfao

You gotta pay the subway toll if you want into the New Yorks hole

no drama

who wants to see

Whirr goes the cylinder. He takes a deep swig from the glass. The bottle next to it 3/4th empty now. He needs it, needs it badly, to be able to become stupid enough to do the smart thing. His body aches. The door still open. Impossible to lock now since it was broken in the last hour, along with a few bones. The gamblers fallacy finally caught up to the man.

Click. Four more chances now. He fills himself another glass and gulps it down.

Maybe this is a sign. Maybe the world wants him to live.

Memory lane forces its way up even through the blur that is his mind. A happy time with his wife. Yes. He needs to live for her. Who will take care of her if he is gone. He gets up. Satisfied. Ready to fight another day. A delayed realization hits him like running into a brick wall. The last memory of his wife. He sees the love of his life, in another's. The last time he saw her. He sits back down.

Click. Three more chances now. Another glass of booze down the gullet.

Maybe he has lived a horrible life, but maybe life was just a gamble, and all he has to do is just try once again, just try a little more, surely his luck would change.

Memories break their way in, a few years old, bound to emotions as fresh as yesterday. A months long project, pride for the first time in years, lost his job within the week. His work was good, but the machine was better. The house is the world, and him against, and the house always wins. [1]

Click. Two more chances now. It takes a while to pinpoint the glass through the numbing senses and the haze. Once he does though he continues on to another pour and a drink.

He feels a rising warmth within him. Something stirs from within. The realization that every miss is one step closer to his death, perhaps the fear somehow reaching up even through the blur that is his mind, his eyes, his numbed senses. Or maybe his jumbled senses just jumping to random places. Something tells him, himself but he doesn't know it, that he wants to go on. Instinct is one heck of a drug. Dragging man walking even through heck itself. Even against his will.

More memories flood his mind. This time it is dozens of little betrayals. Never a big falling out, but enough small ones that would accumulate over time. Too small to ever point at a single one and feel justified in his angst, but large enough across time and space, to leave a mark. The friends that disappeared over time, the managers who took credit for bits of his work at times, the parents who always felt a little out of sync with his mind. A mild hopelessness that clung like a second skin no matter how hard he tried to forget.

Click. One more chance now. 50-50. That's what he is down to.

He would pour himself another drink if he could even find the glass and hold on to it long enough. Right now He cannot see anything of worth. He cannot even see further than the now, the pure present, even if he tried. The empty bottle next to him had lost him the fight before it even began. He cannot see the future, and the past won't let him go. Weighing him down ever further with every step that he takes. Maybe death is a mercy. Maybe not. All he knows now is that he feels bad for reasons he cannot remember. That he is supposed to press the trigger. He feels so tired now though. He just wants to go to sleep. Yes. That is what he would do. He would sleep it off, and try again, with whatever he is supposed to be doing. It is the closest he gets to peace these past 5 years.

Click. [2]

[1]

[2]

@jackie

!writecel

I (19F) have been dating my boyfriend Austin (24M) for 6 months now but as of recently i started using a vibrator during s*x. The reason is because he rarely makes me c*m and doesn't seem to even try, so i started using toys while he fricked me. At first he didn't seem to care until last night after we finished he said "it's a bit selfish to use that while we're having s*x"

It came as a surprise because he never said anything the other times i used it. I told him it's because i can't c*m from only penetration, keep in mind he doesn't like giving head or fingering. But most times i give him a blowjob to start things off he just never gives anything back. and i give really good head like a lot of times he cums during the blowjob before we even start fricking, which is fine because i like sucking peepee i just don't wanna feel left out

Soo because of this i resorted to using toys which feels amazing but he doesn't like it. I tried coming to some kind of agreement like asking if he can at least stimulate my clit while he's fricking me or even 69 so we both get stimulated, but he said word for word "real Gs don't eat kitty" .... idek what that means but ok

At this point im just getting so sexually frustrated and i feel like i haven't came properly in ages. Idk if im being the butthole here but i'm tempted to end the relationship and find someone else. If you know any guys that aren't selfish in the bedroom and have a high s*x drive, plss send them my way! i don't care about age or looks

What do fat r*dditors think about this dumb fake story?

I second this. REAL men care about their partners' pleasure.

WRONG. REAL men beat their wives. Also this person has only a single submission and it's in /r/poor. Keep yourself safe.

Definitely NTA. If he doesn't care about your pleasure, what's the point? You're not a s*x toy for his convenience.

Yes you are. A s*x toy that cooks and cleans. Know your place, foid.

Ιf wе dоnt соunt sub 50B аíd ít shоuļd bе 440B mínímum

But wíkí stореd uрdаtíng ít

also rs_x