im very drunk and shat this out teehee

For the love of god why the frick would he say that 😟

I was just going to leave the thread blank for two reasons:

1) Since the film is so in love with cutesy little meta-metacommentary it seemed appropriate because

2) I felt absolutely nothing for this movie,

however that's too subtle, so like Cabin in the Woods itself I will now belabor the point long past anyone's ability to care.

I honestly don't even know where to begin with this. It wasn't offensively bad or anything a la Black Swan, it isn't good-bad like Chopping Mall, it's not just plain old serviceable and therefore solid in its decency like The Omen, and it certainly isn't good. And it's like it was written to preemptively shield itself from criticism.

I could call it formulaic. The defense would be that of course it's formulaic, that's the point of the movie haha they even named the generic slasher archetypes at the end, the formulaicism is part of the joke.

I could call it uninspired. The defense would similarly be that of course it's uninspired, there's a Cube-style room of rooms with all the monsters from everything, it's all deliberately derivative and referential.

I could call it not scary. The defense would again similarly be that this is also intentional, look how it's also billed as a comedy. Nevermind that it's not funny either, because it's also billed as a horror.

The plain and simple of it is that it is formulaic, and this goes for the meta-meta narrative as well. Yes the silly organization's point is to enact the contrived ritual that plays out with horror movie tropes because it's supposed to, that's not whats formulaic about it. It can be argued that every beat up to the descent into the facility is formulaic by design, but once they're through that door that excuse falls flat.

The plain and simple of it is that it is uninspired. One of the technicians remarks early on that they're allowed to cheat to make things play out as needed as much as they want. Later we see that security personnel gunning down the sacrifices meets the requirements—there's no reason not to lead with that and just shoot the whore first. Or to bomb the cabin after shooting the whore. Or literally anything else. The overarching narrative cannot be flimsy because the arguably intentionally shitty internal narrative is wink-wink-shitty to allow room for that larger one. The overall story is just there as an excuse to make 8104 different references (HAHA THE WHITEBOARD TALKS ABOUT THE R*PE TREES FROM EVIL DESD LOL) and give 3 second cameos to creatures from other movies. The facility and organization itself is just a Cube Zero knockoff anyway.

The plain and simple of it is that it is neither scary nor funny. There are no stakes even with the apocalypse on the horizon and then actualizing to end the film. Everyone is boring and sucks. Literally Shaggy from scooby doo as the lead can't go any other way. The humor predates it by several years but it all smacks of that atrocious Rian Johnson Star Wars movie with the yo momma joke; it's quip "comedy" without the quips but the exact same degree of unwarranted and omnipresent self-satisfaction.

This is, however, a lot more negativity than Cabin in the Woods strictly deserves. I don't feel any sort of profound loathing for it or anything, it did nothing to elicit any particular emotion that strong. It's a completely unremarkable hour and a half.

For a movie with such an incredibly promising cover and inexplicably golden critic reviews from the beforetimes when critics evaluated things by metrics other than how much gay s*x a film has in it, the only thing I feel in any notable sense is confusion as to how either of these things happened. That and I want to watch Hellraiser because cenobites are great even if they are bootleg and have 30 seconds of screentime in an utterly mid movie.

★★☆☆☆

!kino your thoughts?

cc @LainkeyKong as requested

I took the payout in the hours before it closed and got my x amount of money and referral letter, but honestly I feel kind of horrible. Seeing how many people were left in the cold without even severance really breaks my heart.

Blah blah put this into chat gpt and then post to /r/fednews

Consider me upset and disappointed (as if redditor's feel any other emotions ). And I was actually going to make a post about how I've been pleasantly surprised at the lack of mask pushback the past 6ish months at doctors appointments. Which is GREATLY appreciated as I've been dealing with a newer chronic health condition, on top of my grandma who's on oxygen needing her doctors appointments as well.

Long story short - I asked my doctor to sign a medical exemption form for me so I can wear a mask to this upcoming necessary appointment. I was once again pleasantly surprised, she didn't question me and I felt like she was finally taking me seriously.

I opened the envelope today and read what she wrote: "Severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder". Not my chronic migraines, or the fact that I'm a care giver. We never discussed this "severe" anxiety disorder and I thought she finally recognized that a) my precautions are not because of my anxiety and b) my increased anxiety was due to my undiagnosed chronic migraines that I developed from a hormone medication SHE put me on.

I'll fully admit that my anxiety got much worse before my migraines were properly addressed. It was an uphill battle where I was not being heard by my doctor - the "it's just anxiety, anxiety, anxiety" bit until I had hospital worthy chronic pain...

But my family and I have masked and taken Covid precautions since 2020. It's infuriating that wearing a mask is likely the reason why my doctors first answer to everything is anxiety. Like pardon me for being educated and trying to protect my family. I guess that makes me incredibly anxious. So be it.

(I'm sending hugs to everyone that can relate🤍 I appreciate every single person on here😷🫶)

This is your one chance losers, dont mess it up!

Heres review of the movie shes talking about btw:

https://old.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/1648nmn/past_lives_an_analysis_of_the_movie_spoilers/

https://old.reddit.com/r/AsianMasculinity/comments/14gykob/has_anybody_seen_the_new_movie_past_lives_by_a24/

It doesn't sound like such a bad idea, being out in nature rather than being locked up in a psych ward. IDK why libsharts are freaking out so much over it? It literally sounds like some hippy green tree hugger stuff that they usually love.

ENHANCE

!chuds !transphobes he told the same joke with different doodles :3

!foidmoment !r-slurs

Fat b-words are s*x offenders I see them and I’m sexually offended Making lingerie for fat b-words is like giving knives to little kids They gone hurt somebody If you find yourself in a fat b-word kitty just remember it’s because you’re broke

— ye (@kanyewest) February 7, 2025

Once again I am leaving the Munich Security Conference in a low mood. Amongst all the noise, the US signalled their plans for Europe, so things are becoming clearer. But things are clearly not good.
This is what we now know, and what we now have to do about it:🧵1/17

— Gabrielius Landsbergis🇱🇹 (@GLandsbergis) February 15, 2025

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

I'm very interested to see if her supporters actually care. There's now a 2nd board member coming out voicing their concern with government meddling in contracts. This is a fully UCP appointed board. (21)

I can't even find out who fired the CEO. Wouldn't the board be the ones to fire the CEO. Lmao (2)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

You can always tell when Nenshi lies. His eyes flutter and he never looks at the camera or the person he's speaking to. (-6)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

I'm astonished support for Nenshi is that high, you'd think the dippers would have figured him out and obviously the rest of AB doesn't know who he is - he's divisive, when he left Calgary as mayor this city was in shambles, he had an approval rating in the 40s and dropping. In his first go he campaigned as a conservative, said all the right things but governed as a high taxing, high spending liberal. When he won his first mayor, from his mother's basement where he lived he said Calgarians weren't racists but when it looked like he was gonna get booted he said Calgarians were racists. He'll say anything to get elected but when in office look out. (6)

I would guess about 70-80% of voters are UCP or NPD no matter who. I am one of them. Why? Because no matter what brain-dead leader the UCP elects, it will not be worse than a lunatic NDP leftist. (1)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡🔘🔘🔘

But it won him Calgary elections he basically accused anyone who didn't vote for him of being racist, and somehow it worked. (2)

The problem is that the term racist has been thrown around so much, it has become deluted. It's getting to be that the person using that term is being judged more than the person it's being pointed at. (-1)

Angriness: 😡🔘🔘🔘🔘

But it won him Calgary elections he basically accused anyone who didn't vote for him of being racist, and somehow it worked. (2)

Not voting for a representative of the majority of this province is racist. (-1)

Angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

Absolutely zero surprise. Smith has tapped into Alberta's 'renegade' mentality made popular by King Ralph which appeals to many. Nenshi should reassess his approach and adopt some of that feisty Albertan spirit. As we've seen, embracing Ottawa is a poor strategy for any Alberta political party. (39)

Also embracing victim culture is not interesting for many Albertans (26)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/Constant_Sky9173

Score: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

Number of comments: 1

Average angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

Maximum angriness: 😡😡🔘🔘🔘

Minimum angriness: 😡😡🔘🔘🔘

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Des nouvelles de nos impôts.
(Hier soir sur France 2) pic.twitter.com/lBsASoo2xP

— Laurent Obertone (@LaurentObertone) February 15, 2025

There's DOZENS of people out in the cold....doing something!

A classical Greek tragedy about hard work, big egos, and French culture.

His fanatical attention to detail, frenetic work ethic, and discerning palate, propelled him to the top of his profession, and earned him a knowledgeable and loyal, but unforgiving and demanding clientele.

In the late 1990s, a new form of Asian-inspired "fusion cuisine" swept France, catering to an international corporate class and pleasing trend-driven "foodies" (a neologism of the movement), which Loiseau resisted.

Loiseau was downgraded from 19/20 to 17/20 in the Gault et Millau guide and received a strong negative media review from the gastronomic critic François Simon in the newspaper Le Figaro, but he still had his three stars in the Michelin Guide. Criticism continued to pour in and the media speculated about a possible future loss of a Michelin star.

But on February 24, 2003, the chef finished his lunchtime service, rolled up his apron and drove home. Telling his ten-year old son – one of three children – to go and play outside, he went upstairs, locked the bedroom door and shot himself in the head with a hunting rifle, a present from his wife.

After his death, three-star chef Jacques Lameloise said Loiseau had once confided, "If I lose a star, I'll kill myself".

Derek Brown, Michelin director at the time, said: "The idea of telling him about the concerns we had about some of his cooking was in order to give him an opportunity to consider whether he wanted to do something about it, which he did, as it turned out."

All in all, a messy story sparking many debates about whether reviewers should really be brutally honest, and if they are unfairly harsh. Perhaps it inspired Ratatouille (2007)?