!moidmoment

Help! New wife has crippling debt.

Throw away for hopefully obvious reasons. I just got married yesterday, and last night my wife drops the bomb on me that she has $160k in debt between school, judgements, cars and credit cards.

I have 120k in investments and 30k in savings. She's pressing really hard that it's “our” money now and she's expecting me to withdraw everything and put it towards her debt, per Dave Ramsey who she's been apparently following for years.

Not gonna lie, had I known this I wouldn't have even thought marriage to be an option. How should I approach this? We're filing with the court later today if that makes a difference. Admittedly, I was incredibly pissed when she told me last night and we haven't talked since then.

Edits

News was broken, she left in a firestorm. Broke a lot of things on the way out, and was telling me things like she plans to sue me for wasting her time and pain and suffering 😂 it's shitty, but onto the next I guess. Thanks to everyone for giving me advise on this!

alright, I'm not going to file with the court. I'm gonna break the news and I'll keep you guys posted! Thanks for the help!

Lots of questions asking why we didn't discuss finances before getting married. We did discuss them a year ago when I first proposed, and she told me she was debt-free.

lots of questions about her judgements. I don't know what they're for, but there's 4 of them totaling 55k

!moidmoment @FrozenChosen

General theead for those who touch grass/interact with real women.

Brainstorm GOGOGO

Be sure to ping !biofoids to show your respect/tribute

the "male loneliness crisis" is a good thing actually, because why would i ever want to date a guy that looks like this?😭😭 pic.twitter.com/kqHHEI5B1y

— ai (@orbitves) March 3, 2024

https://twitter.com/mspisceshealing/status/1764330198160326790

https://twitter.com/rorwii/status/1732479355568173283

male's lack respect for themselves, others and Mother Nature, refusal to stop mentally/verbally/sexually/physically harassing & abusing females even on digital spaces (but especially in real life) & wonder why more and more women are refusing to date, marry, & reproduce w them.

the world that has been controlled by male decisions while exploiting domestic/emotional/physical labor from females and other enslaved people all throughout history is ugly and full of suffering and pain.

but we control the birth rates. we can simply ignore males, come together & remove them from existence. they know we have this power. this is why they use fear & abuse to prevent it.

this is why i don't waste any of my time interacting with males. no male will ever have the power females do. we control their life, their very existence. females can even birth without them with scientific advances so they arent even needed for creation of humankind.

so i only focus on getting the truth out to females and i think all radfems should hyperfocus on this. only females as a s*x class can come together & change the patriarchy. nobody & nothing else. leaving it up to males to understand will never work. it would have already

a common misconception is that the Creator/God/ur ancestors/deities always expect the "kill them with kindness" approach for every single wrong done to another. they love JUSTICE.

Women definitely make better spiritual leaders, religion is all about, wisdom(women), structure, nurture and justice. Women have great spiritual understanding

the only true way to connect with the Creator and spirituality is by being pure.

being pure can have many definitions but to me, it means living in TRUTH (not feelings), protecting urself from energies that harm u or take u out of alignment, & only making decisions that dont include lying, omitting, raging, or manipulating.

it means clearing out ur cognitive distortions and learning/practicing universal truths. it means not allowing urself to participate in behaviors that you know are not good for u. u will never be 100% pure bc human nature is not perfection, but its the EFFORT that matters to God

i purify myself by honoring myself and God. it is definitely personal in many ways but there are many universal truths that can only be learned thru trial & error.

the issue is never if God will listen. the issue is we often forget that in ANY moment no matter how difficult, we can remind ourselves to ask God to help. God is there for us no matter what, but to what level is up to us.

stop venting to/asking for advice from others before u vent/ask advice from Self & the Creator.

i just luv me so much. i cherish me. i captivate my own interest. i honestly feel like i actually am in a romantic relationship with myself. this is a new layer of self love i never reached before!

feeling this extra today 🥰

men say feminism is what's ruining women's perceptions of men but downloading a dating app as a woman is enough to radicalize u fr. the way men act on dating apps is enough for u to believe all men should be put down like dogs.

men of color are not exempt from being sexist because they experience racism. gay men are not exempt from being sexist because they experience homophobia. experiencing a form of oppression does not give u the right to oppress others, too.

Males aren't human. Woman is human. Males are a genetic deformity created by woman for variety. The Y chromosome is a dying parasite and behaves nothing like a human

You were created by woman and will die out by woman.

You have no real power. That's why patriarchy exists, Y's built it to give yourselves artificial value because you have none. It's embarrassing. Women are waking up en masse now and all you waste males will simply die out.

When women give their energy to males it is like pouring into a bottomless pit. It disappears into darkness. When women give their energy to women we reciprocate, grow, build, evolve, love and connect. We make magic. Stop letting males drain you, they will take every drop

I do not know a single woman who didn't give away a part of her youth trying to fix a man who refused to seek therapy.

Therapy is not a fix all but mental health professionals can signpost you to other professionals or activities that may be beneficial. You have to talk to someone first, that is the point

We need to teach young women to be mad and angry. From very young.

Nothing good comes from extending grace to those who disrespect you and undervalue your time, cuss these people out and block them.

These girls are getting into emotionally abusive relationships too early in life

What do you mean they shout at you and bang doors in your face?

What do you mean they constantly blow your phone up even though you've told them very clearly that you are busy?

You get admitted into a mental institution and they're still pestering you?

We are failing these kids!

And I know they'll still do what they want, but bottom line is, they wouldn't get into something like this if we taught them to stand their ground and be insanely strict from the beginning. Society has conditioned women into being too malleable to evilness, let it end w us!

pisces placements especially pisces moons need physical release of energy/emotion or they go insane.

so many females have reached out to me on tips to stop dating men and centering them in their lives after that tweet from the other day. it is a true blessing to use any platform of mine no matter how small to help females decenter males and center themselves & females only.

Terfs don't want to acknowledge that they're more than ovaries bc their identity doesn't exist outside of that. They're so lacking in depth that they have to base their entire being around reproductive organs. They don't kno what womanhood is without referring to bodily functions

a cool thing about being a mom is being in charge of generational traditions. i may honor (some) old traditions passed on but i get to add my own to be passed on for a generation (even more generations if my daughter chooses to have kids).

i am excited to teach her my witchy shit honestly. explain my altar to her, practice all our little spellwork together like cinnamon thru the doorway etc. im excited to pass on spirituality based in energy/emotional work with no particular basis in religion.

i'm blessed to be me. i'm blessed to live the life i live. i'm blessed with love surrounding me even in my darkest moments. i'm blessed with joy in my heart. i'm blessed to protect my energy and soul.

i am so hard on myself. i thrive on holding myself accountable and keeping my standards high. but i think i surpass that and offer no patience or understanding to myself the way i do others. working on it!

i just need women to love themselves more. be egoistical and selfish and arrogant. these men are not better than u fgs man

!moidmoment

According to the academic, signs of psychopathy typically exhibited by females are sexual in nature – and include flirtation, seduction and manipulation.

Psychopathic women also express violence, but it is usually of a verbal rather than physical nature – like shouting, swearing or screaming.

It's therefore more subtle than violence expressed by male psychopaths, which tends to be more physical.

'Also, female psychopaths tend to use words, rather than violence, to achieve their aims, differing from how male psychopaths tend to operate,' he said.

The academic is concerned that studies may be failing to identify female psychopaths because they are largely based around profiles of criminal and male psychopaths.

Dear How to Do It,

My wife (34F) and I (37F) have been together for four years. Within the first six months, we nearly split up because she showed so little interest in flirting and s*x, I was almost positive she was asexual (which is fine, but we wouldn't be compatible). She insisted she was just inexperienced (I was her first serious relationship) and shy but that she was interested in s*x in general, attracted to me specifically, and wanted to learn and gain confidence rather than be with someone else whose drive more closely matched hers.

We now have a compromise to have s*x on Sundays. My wife never initiates physically. She acknowledges verbally on Friday that “date night” is coming and we're going to have s*x. Sunday evening, she'll say something like, “After this movie do you want to have grown-up time?” Then she'll go to the bedroom, undress, and wait in bed for me to physically initiate, which, even now, is an awkward process where for the first five to 10 minutes it seems like she's disinterested. She insists it just takes her a while to get into it. I believe her because once she does get into it, it's adventurous, intimate, and fun, and we both usually get off.

I've explained countless times that I don't need to have s*x more often, but I do crave more sexual interactions and feeling desired. If I try to kiss her passionately, touch her flirtatiously, place her hand inside my shirt, she'll stiffen up and stand there awkwardly. She says she can't switch her brain to sexy stuff on command. If I say something flirtatious, she immediately changes the subject or is silent until I change it, both in person and over text. She says she doesn't know how to respond. I suggested she try responding to texts with an emoji and I would take that as a positive, flirtatious response but a sign that she wasn't interested in carrying it further. She said she could do that but she didn't, so I quit trying.

Recently on a date night, I tried playing sensually with her fingers in the car and putting her arm around my waist while we were window shopping. She was cold to all my attempts, so by the time she suggested s*x, I felt so rejected I couldn't bring myself to want to do it. It felt like she'd been turning me down all evening, which made her offer seem like pity or duty. Most of the time I just fight my natural urge to speak or act flirtatiously because I know her reaction will be disappointing. But once in a blue moon, she responds positively, and it's something I crave so strongly so I don't want to just give up entirely. She says I'm meeting all her needs in this relationship, and she's pretty comfortable asking for things, so I tend to believe her. I make a huge effort to ensure we have as much non-sexual contact as possible because it's important to her, and I very much don't want her to feel like I'm only interested in touching her for sexual reasons. But I desperately want to feel like she is interested in touching me, at least sometimes. Do you have any suggestions for what I could say to make her understand? Things she might try, to get more comfortable flirting? Or maybe things I can do to numb the feeling of rejection and unmet needs?

—Left Hanging