My dad brought something home and he's really sick and now I'm sick too and I want to sleep but my fricking joints keep hurting and my blood pressure is through the room and I feel like shit thank you.

So this fat, downie looking guy with his eyes too far apart walks in and places a cracked iPhone 15 Max on the table and asks me to help him update it and back up his photos. Like a trusting idiot he gives me his pin and the first thing I see isn't porn, but BIPOC and carp emojis floating around.

https://rdrama.net/post/216308/did-you-know-voldemort-put-a/5278705#context

What kind of a fricking idiot reads the comments in a carp post? You're supposed to leave an early comment for dramacoin farming.

I gave the lardass a withering stare before continuing on with 30 seconds of button pushing he could have figured out with Bing.

Then I asked him what he was doing and he just mumbled and stared at the ground like a beta.

!besties !dramatards !r-slurs

My iPhone 15 Pro Max arrived at the Verizon store and I went to pick it up and the wagie wanted to do the whole thing where he backs your iCloud and shit up so they don't get in trouble when a confused boomer calls in screaming that their pictures are gone

And I said dw I took care of that before I came

And he was like yeah that's fine but for my own sake can you please just let me do it rq this happens all the time and people freak out when they get home

So sure

Anyway I gave him my pin without thinking and I had this thread open because I had been admiring my own post

https://rdrama.net/post/216308/did-you-know-voldemort-put-a/5278705#context

He didn't comment on it and just closed Safari after a long moment but it was mortifying

Later he asked me what I do for a living and I've never been asked that by a moid wagie before and I'm positive I was being rightly judged by someone who sells phones for minimum wage

This has been cathartic. Thank you.

Not dramatic at all. I just liked his name.

But because I'm a massive contrarian I refuse to pick Haaland and so spend most of the time near the bottom of the table. Maybe there's some lesson to be learnt there about self-sabotaging contrarianism

30-10-2023: I have upgraded myself today.

Real

Came across a bulk bag of this YouTuber goyslop to hand out to the trick or treaters. Tasted one and it was awful but I'm sure they'll enjoy it anyways.

!homeowners what are you all handing out?

I literally never knew that women have such high libido, it's insane. I have so many conversations going on right now that I forget who told me what and what I told them already.

Most importantly, I'm about 25 coins away from another !slots100 again so please help a fellow out

benis

!cuteandvalid asking for a friend

!boozers

I have spent the last few months building a koji incubator, incubating koji and then fermenting sake. I spent today pasteurizing and bottling the sake, and finally got drunk off homemade ricewine.

It's unfiltered nigorizake and it's DELICIOUS

i have a list of different bait posts I want to write, but every time I find a subreddit and sit down to write it, it ends up reading like shit

You have leaves in your lawn. Leaf pickup is tomorrow.

!homeowners , what's your preference?

I was going for a run with one of my friend. It was cold outside so I decided to do some pushups first.

He watched me do 2/3 then he laughed and called me an r-slur because of my form.

Now I do 25 strict military pushups, first 20 in a row, then downward dog pose to let a breathe in (without breaking touch with the ground) and then 5 more quickly before I'm out of breath.

My friend was in the military (chair force but still) and he told me that's not the correct form.

Apparently you don't have to go chest to the floor every time, there can be enough space between your chest and the floor (3-5 inches).

I tried that and immediately I could do 25 in a row without even pausing for a breath.

I'm not that weak. Just my form is shit

Got pulled home from a camping trip by my wife. My frickstick husky got wound up and tried to go from playing with a 130lbs akita to playing with a 3 month old kitten. It was a stray we took in just a month ago because my kids really wanted it. This fricking dog misbehaves and gets wild every God darn fricking time I'm not around anymore, I don't know if I should be mad at him or my darn wife for not beingable to handle the dog she wanted. I just spent two hours trying to comfort my daughter, she's spent every waking minute cuddling her since we brought her in. And it's her fricking birthday, I get to burry my daughters cat for her fricking birthday.

Frick you dog I hate you.

RIP Luna I'm sorry.

An image from yer girl's escapades.

I DID NOT WIN THE CONTEST EVEN THOUGH MINE WAS OBVIOUSLY THE BEST

Kinda salty still. Someone that “really needed” the prize more won

I'm at the age where I can still have a cool life (sorry millenials) and I've been thinking about joining the navy/air force so they can let me pilot extremely expensive flying death machines (I even dream about it regularly). Should I do it?

Cons:

• way less money than just being a corporate employee

• possibly away from my family for a while

• cancer from jet fuel

Pros:

• pilot fighter jets

• with things heating up everywhere I might actually get to fight fr (🤞)

• possibly of dying an instant and cool death

Important: I would NOT be joining the Canadian armed forces

Today is my birthday and I am officially walled. Wearing my lucky occasion shirt to celebrate. Thanks for being a great group of people on a weird website. <3 Sneaky

This one really captures my smile well!