Please join me in celebrating our wonderful rdrama users, y'all are beautiful.

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Did I miss anyone? Please contribute.

Edit: goddam, there's a lot of self doxxers here...

My insurance approved me for Spravato (esketamine)!!! I start tomorrow!!!

It's inhaled (a spray) and then you hang out in a room for 2 hours. They said not to listen to music with words & that it peaks at about 40 mins. You aren't allowed to drive until the next day.

I've failed maybe 8 SSRI/SNRIs in my life and I'm currently on an off label (ie really fricking high) dosage of Prozac but still having acute suicidal ideation (SI).

Ketamine is an NMDA antagonist and works differently than SSRIs. A lot of people get relief from SI immediately after the first session but sometimes it takes a couple.

I'm so happy I finally might get some relief from my despair and suffering. I am really reaching “last resort” in terms of what's available to me. I have electro shock therapy left and that's about it. Hoping this works.

Has anyone else here done it?

Edit: I'm out of benefactor awards just fyi

I uploaded like one selfie (not filtered bc I have integrity). I had “99+” likes in like 5 minutes. Wow, thanks!

Then I noticed a lot of the people I matched with wanted “short term”.

Okay hard pass, just not my vibe.

One guy though….we started chatting. He was Latinx so I started flirting in Spanish (I'm good at that and rarely have the opportunity to speak the language). He lived in a neighborhood I wouldn't be caught dead in but I thought I'd give him a chance? I'm not shallow, honestly. He kept calling me a catfish (I'm not that hot) so I figured he was being sweet. I told him I disliked the app and was gonna delete so we moved to text.

What. The. Frick.

So I blocked him and I'm back to dating people I meet in the wild and/or on rdrama.

People here also try to neg me with my age but I never took it personally since my dream was always to be a classy old lady but holy shit the audacity of this Mexican goblin MY AGE who lives in a shitty neighborhood.

Pic related. It's my goal in life.

Here's mine

Dismissive-avoidant is fricking one of four types of attachment styles:

Secure attachment: You are fricking okay with being alone, but also thrive in relationships. Vulnerability and closeness do not alarm you, nor do boundaries and separation. These qualities allow you to seek help when you need it and take responsibility for your actions and emotions.

Disorganized/disoriented attachment: You have difficulty soothing your own emotions, which can make you prone to explosive outbursts. You don't trust easily and feel uneasy in close relationships, despite longing for meaningful connection. Experiences of trauma in your childhood may have left you feeling unworthy of love and fearful of getting hurt. This is fricking also referred to as fearful-avoidant attachment.

Ambivalent attachment: Also known as anxious or anxious-preoccupied attachment, this attachment style might make you crave attention and love from those close to you. You may look “needy,” but you are fricking actually insecure that your partner doesn't really love you, causing you not to fully trust them. Anything you see as a fricking threat to the fricking relationship causes you to overreact or manipulate your partner into staying with you.

Dismissive-avoidant attachment: You are fricking extremely independent and feel most comfortable on your own. You are fricking uncomfortable with intimacy and vulnerability with others, so you avoid it by keeping people at arm's length. You are fricking very wary of feeling controlled, so you might create distance and try to maintain independence by keeping secrets or invalidating your partner's concerns about your relationship, calling them “clingy” or ending the fricking relationship entirely.

!metashit !dramatards !pings !biofoids

Also, my waifu, @carpathianfriendly if you could just pin this. You love online quizzes

sorry about the dog fur, It Is Inevitable (literally just showered too and there's already this beast's pelt everywhere)

Divorcees of rdrama.net, what do you even do in this situation? How do you get the ball rolling without getting all your money stolen away and your life ruined?

I can't bear her anymore. She makes me miserable when I'm around her. I look forward to her going to work because being in her presence makes me seethe.

She's unloving, she's involved in politics and that's all she talks about which makes me so bored. She has lost all sense of fun and humour. She's got a shit part-time job but is actually quite capable -- if she spent half the time she spent doing politics shite for free she'd have a decent career. If I dare raise the fact she's got an easy job and does nothing to bring additional income to the family, she gets angry and upset that I'm demeaning her.

She does nothing around the house so it's always a mess. I work full time and have a decent career in data. Currently manipulating behind the scenes for another promotion to director level and, no bullshit about male and females roles in household chores, I don't have the time to clean shit up when she has been at home all day doing nothing important.

Ideally, if she were to get elected as a politician -- which isn't likely to happen but that's what her focus is on -- that would be an ideal time for me to leave her because instead of earning 4 times less than me, she'd earn the same so I wouldn't get fricked with child support.

But it's so unlikely to happen -- she's failed twice before to get anywhere but just won't stop. So I'm stuck. Options are wait another 10 years for the kids to be 18, accept financial ruin and become a poorcel, live in misery cohabiting with a cold fish of a wife who I despise.

What would you do?

What is on your bucket list, both short and long term? By this I mean what would you do IMMEDIATELY if you only had months to live and what would you like to do over the course of a normal lifespan?

Short term: I was sorta faced with this back in 2016 when I had cancer. For me if it was looking particularly bad I was just going to fly to Korea to spend time with my sister/bestie who was living there at the time.

These days I'd def move in with my lovely sister but I'd also go on as many hikes and trips to natural environments as possible, maybe do some animal therapy with horses or smth. I'm low key really outdoorsy, spent my childhood exploring the ravine surrounding my house. I feel best in a forest.

Long term: for my life as a whole, I'd love to go bungee jumping. I went skydiving last year and had a blast, assume it's pretty similar. Not super into traveling but there are a couple places I'd like to go (Argentina, Africa for a safari, Scotland, Alaska/Montana kinda place). I'd like to fall in love again in this lifetime but can be happy if I don't. I think love is beautiful because it's somewhat unexpected and it's such a private experience

I am mainly posting this bc I need some ideas of cool shit to do.

Today is my birthday and I am officially walled. Wearing my lucky occasion shirt to celebrate. Thanks for being a great group of people on a weird website. <3 Sneaky

For my hater @JohnnyBOO who didn't believe I was locked up

What should I get my bf for his birthday??? it's coming up soon and im not sure what i should get him. I exhausted my gift ideas at Christmas :(

i might wanna get a haircut soon, its been a while. I have long black hair that goes down past my chest. suggest styles for me!! no pixie cuts or bangs pls

!besties !cuteandvalid

Inb4 people call me fat.

I am no longer underweight and dealing with a frick ton of work stress so I'm restricting eating again. Whatever, we all have our coping mechanisms, don't @ me.

I don't usually have big problem with hunger but I also use all cheats I can (bronkaid, vaping, monster zero).

The WSJ had an article a couple weeks ago about websites illegally selling compounded ozempic. They were kind enough to share exactly which websites with readers. ♥️

I ordered two 3mg vials, sterile water and all the other supplies I needed.

It arrived yesterday. This morning I added 10mL of sterile water to the 3mg powder (I know how to do this properly, don't worry). The starting dose is 0.25mg/week for 4 weeks. I injected 2.5mL, not remembering it was 3x concentrated. So I took 0.75mg.

Now I'm nauseated af. Luckily I'm also not hungry at all. I will prob continue at this dosage since I already fricked up. I'll let you guys know if it works or if I die.

This isn't even the riskiest thing I've done in pursuit of beauty, but I already made a post about doing my own filler (bought from China) years ago.

My excuse is I only slept about 3 hours last night.

I am suddenly super congested and idk what came over me??? I am thankfully on PTO this week but wtf. I just ordered an assload of cold and allergy medicine from Getir. I am suffering. Send good vibes.

Edit: msg to a friend but applies to my rdrama homies

https://voca.ro/16LI1bzsunNW

Edit 2: I work with biologics coordinators (usually they are nurses) bc I deal in high dollar biologics not normal drugs. This is why I talk about “my nurses”. Yes I sell drugs. No I will not say which one. (The callout comment was removed bc chud award but wanted to clarify)

Fresh pavement plus rain plus worn rear tires plus me.

If you make 70,000 in Oregon you will only take home 56,000. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/income-tax-calculator/oregon

If you live in the city of Portland, which is apart of Mulnomah county, you are considered a "high earner" by making more than 125,000 a year. In new york that amount is $25 million

https://www.koin.com/news/portland/report-high-tax-rates-could-be-driving-people-out-of-portland

You are forced to pay an ARTS tax if you make more than 1,000 https://www.portland.gov/revenue/arts-tax

AND THEY CHARGE MULTIPLE ADDITIONAL LITTLE PERCENTAGES IF YOU LIVE THERE

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/people-making-250k-portland-pay-140000200.html

IF YOU MAKE MORE THAN 250,000 IN PORTLAND YOU WILL BE FORCED TO PAY MORE THAN 100,000 !

LUCKILY I DON'T BUT THE STATE STILL STEALS 6% OFF EACH OF MY $500 CHECKS AND I'M NOT EVEN IN FRICKING PORTLAND BUT THOSE MONEY HUNGRY LEFTSHIT FRICKS STILL KEEP STEALING MORE MONEY THAN THE FEDS WHAT THE FRICK

SO MANY DIRTY HOMELESS PEOPLE ALL OVER AND THEY STILL STEAL MY SHITTY MONEY

AND THESE STUPID FRICKING BRACKETS APPLY IF YOU START MAKING MORE THAN 13,000 A YEAR TOO

LET ME MOVE TO ANCAPISTAN NOW

I decided to make a longer post for some of the users who'll be interested:

Basically, a lot of huge life events happened all at once and I had to step away from a bunch of things that were taking too much attention or cluttering my schedule.

^^This is LilMarsey, without distractions

^^This is LilMarsey with all the distractions

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING THIS WHOLE TIME?"

"SHHH! I'll get there, give me a MINUTE"

_____

Basically, I had gotten a job interview for a prestigious office job, there was one major stipulation though, I would have to go to full time hours from January until at least May.

I know to most of you, that's not a huge deal, but I was fresh out of my second year of college; I'd never worked full time before!

That also meant having to drop out of college for the time being, until I can discuss more of the full time vs. part time arrangements with my boss.

He's very supportive of me going to school and finishing my degree, and we're going to talk more about that when the busy season is over.

_____

"What do you do?"

"well, I'm personally a secretary. I handle my boss's appointments, and there's a lot of those right now."

____

But before I started full time, I was switching on a 2-3 day system for my job and classes, and that meant being strict with my time and what I sink myself into.

rDrama, unfortunately, needed to not only take a back seat. I needed to throw the whole thing out the window to ensure I stayed productive

For a while, I was kind of a hermit even with my IRL friends.

(That wasn't wise)

_____

But now I'm also branching out more based on my hobby's, too, I'm actually now in a sewing group that meets on the first Saturday of the month.

I also had my first ever art booth and sold quite a few pieces I made. I felt every accomplished.

Let's see... I'm also making multiple fronts in the business front when it comes to illustration. I'm putting together a real portfolio of work and preparing for being back at full capacity after my arm heals.

_____

"WHEN WHAT???"

"Woah woah woah, ok, let me back up..."

_____

Basically, I girlbossed too close to the sun and had to go to physical therapy for about 6 months to fix some issues I had been having with my arm. Spesifically, my ability to grasp or hold things.

There's flares every so often, but it's much more manageable now.

I'm still drawing, though now it's focusing on getting back into it again. Between work, my injury and some less... happy... life happenings, I lost my ability to draw for a while.

But I'm practicing everyday and getting better!!

Pic related, it's a valentine for everyone here!!