The Nagus

The cold open drops more foreshadowing than sunshine on my butt: Sisko wants go to Bajor with Jake- he plans to visit The Fire Caverns (later revealed to be home to the Pah-Wraiths and they will be the site of Sisko's last confrontation with Dukat in the final episode)- Rom is acting like Rom and he quotes our first ever Rule of Acquisition (Number One, no less- "Once you've got their money, never give it back". As the episode progresses we get the sixth rule too- "Never allow family to stand in the way of opporunity")- we see Grand Nagus Zek, his weird staff and his huge manservant Maihardu. Loads of important shit gets shown for the first time this episode (EDIT NB: Because some r-slurs need it spelling out- the writers did not preplan anything in DS9 and merely returned to these ideas later on). This is also the first proper "Ferengi Episode"- a controversial concept as a lot of people don't like them. Although there were some rotten Ferengi episodes, there were plenty of good ones and I've always had a soft spot for them because they show a slice of Star Trek life from a different cultural perspective- a window into another way of thinking and existing within a setting we've only seen from one perspective in the past. Also, they're kind of like Fiddler on the Roof in space.

The Nagus has arrived on DS9, apparently on a cooming expedition. He intends to indulge in five of Quark's most popular holoporn programs. They would tone down the gooning implications in later seasons (and the holosuite would be used more for recreations of the Battle of Britain, somewhat-self-indulgent Rat Pack knock-offs and copyright infringing James Bond parodies- no seriously... Paramount got threatened with legal action by MGM after 'Our Man Bashir' in Season 5. How New Line's Austin Powers avoided this I don't know) but here in season 1, the message is clear as to what people are paying for in the holosuite:

_{They were together in real life btw: deal with it...}

_{At least he's not really a Jeet}

Zek invites himself to dinner at Quark's apartment. Side note- Ferengi use chopsticks and a lazy susan. There he explains his real reasons for the visit: he plans to use Quark's bar to host a biznez meeting to discuss Ferengi biznez, especially Gamma Quadrant biznez. He's chosen Quark's bar because apparently only Quark can arrange some uncomfortable-looking Ikea furniture in a room for short men with big ears to sit on. During the dinner Zek expresses disdain for BIPOC attending the hoo-man school so Rom tells BIPOC not to go there any more. BIPOC is less than happy about this and matters are not made better because Chief Obrien is currently teaching classes because the casting budget for this episode was already stretched by the Ferengi characters & would not cover Rosalind Chao's fee while Keiko is on holiday. This is the same Chief Obrien who literally had to fix every replicator on the station a few weeks back- now his wife's away he suddenly has all the time in the world to moonlight as a teachercel.

Getting back to the meeting: Nagus Zek explains that it's important that the Ferengi expand into the Gamma Quadrant so as to exploit a market where the unfounded reputation they have in the Merchant-phobic Alpha Quadrant can't ruin their chances.

Everyone agrees that this is an unreasonable goyim misrepresentation of a simple hard-working people.

But Zek feels he's too old to lead his people into this new frontier and he announces that he will now appoint a successor... Quark.

Nobody's impressed and spend the next few days low key threatening Quark- someone even tries to assassinate him. Compounding his woes, Zek suddenly dies leaving Quark without any support. Odo suggests doing an autopsy but everyone laughs as Zek's body is already gone- upon their deaths Ferengi are vacuum dessicated and the dishes of their remains auctioned off. One piece of Zek is worth 20 bars of gold-pressed latinum and is expected to double in value by the following year.

I'm not sure what Ferengi do with these powdered remains but those of great men like Zek sell for a high price and generally increase in value over time.

Quark tries to play it tough and act like he knows what he's doing which leads to this bizarre scene:

Turns out the bomb was Rom and Zek's useless son. They then try and blow Quark out of an airlock- something they're only prevented from doing by the reappearance of Zek who faked his death to test his useless son. A test his son failed uselessly. So Zek must remain Nagus and exploit the Gamma Quadrant personally, a task which will have huge implications in season 2. Far from being angry at his brother, Quark is just pleased he's not a complete failure as a Ferengi. For some reason Rom does not face charges for attempted murder.

There's a B plot about Jake teaching BIPOC to read which isn't worth getting into except for this bit where they goon over a hot Vulcan girl:

The first true Ferengi episode is... fine.

It lays the foundations for a lot of future Ferengi culture- their society is not one of true capitalism and free markets but rather a rigidly hierarchical one based on monopolies and price-fixing with the Nagus sitting at the center dictating everything and taking a cut of it all. Later we will learn of the Ferengi Commerce Authority which creates an impossible web of red tape in the Alliance which can only be navigated via extortionate bribes. This is why Ferengi have to gouge the life out of any non-Ferengi they do business with: their margins are so narrow due to all the bureaucracy and corruption.

Quick note on gold-pressed latinum: it's not a currency- it's a commodity and therefore it's price presumably fluctuates. Latinum is a metal, liquid at room temperature, which cannot be synthesised or replicated- hence it's intrinsic value. The latinum is traditionally pressed into sleeves of gold (which can be replicated and therefore has no real value besides looking nice) which are shaped as slips, strips and bars. Although the value of latinum fluctuates 100 slips make a strip and 20 strips make a bar. There are also bricks which are massively expensive but I don't know how many bars make a brick. I think that if you consider a slip to be worth about $1 you are in the right ball park. Other non-replicatable materials include dilithium crystals and possibly uridium (a fictional metal, originally invented for the 1980s vidya of the same name, from which starship sensor arrays are made) because the whole reason for the Cardassian occupation of Bajor was to strip-mine the planet for uridium. I suppose it's possible that different materials use different amounts of energy to replicate and it might just be more energy efficient for the Cardassians to mine the stuff. I suppose it's also possible that Cardassian replicators (which the show has established already as being a bit shit) can't do it but Federation ones can. Anyway...

Vortex

Jeff Lynne from ELO (or an alien who looks a lot like him) comes aboard DS9 and gets involved in some plot to rip off a Faberge egg thing Quark's trying to sell to a pair of twins (it is never explained why Jeff's involved in this). In the ensuing fight Jeff shoots and kills one of the twins and is arrested on suspicion of murder (although the twins fired first, it was Jeff who pulled a gun on them) while the surviving brother swears revenge.

I do wonder how they cast these twins and who got the decision on which one lives (and gets most of the speaking lines) and which one dies. Did they share both salaries equally? After all- they wouldn't have gotten the gig unless there was two of them.

Anyway, Jeff is one of those tricksy types who gaslamps Odo into believing he can lead the constable to his people- as proof he shows him a shapechanging butt-plug thing he keeps in a locket (why the heck was he allowed to keep this in his cell?).

Sisko and Dax go to Jeff's home planet and find them to be authoritarian buttholes but this week's interpretation of the Prime Directive demands that Jeff is returned to be executed without trial. Odo gets the gig to take him but re-routes to a nebula where Jeff says Odo might find his people. Of course he can't and it's just a stasis pod where Jeff has stashed his daughter (how did he get it here?). The shapechanging butt-plug is a key. He's a dissident, you see and was just trying to protect his daughter (from what? Are they a persecuted minority? We never find out).

The twin shows up in a sharp pointy-looking starship (must be a nightmare to dock) and there's a bit of action which, I'll grant you, does look nice...

...but this whole story makes no sense and Jeff's bullshit about the Changelings (this is the first time we ever hear Odo's people referred to as such) just feels like the episode itself bullpooping the audience into wasting our time watching this because we thought something important might occur. You might also notice a lot of "never explained" and "for some reason" bits in this review- that's never a good sign. There's also this bit where a rock falls on Odo's head and knocks him out- how the frick does that work? He doesn't have a brain.

It's all so disappointing.

Dramatis Personae

Another alien mind-virus has everybody on the station acting weird except for Odo. It was brought on board by a Klingon ship which asplodes after coming through the wormhole after cutting short their planetary survey mission into the Gamma Quadrant. I can't help but wonder how a Vor'cha class battlecruiser can blow into pieces right next to a busy star port and yet not cause any damage to any other vessels or the station itself.

One Klingon is successfully beamed over before his ship asplodes and mumbles one word before he dies; "victory". He carries his own personal logs which have suffered enough damage as to take a while to decipher (or maybe they got the logs from the cruiser wreckage, I can't remember). While this is happening Odo has a massive spazz in Quarks...

...but quickly recovers. This is never explained but is clearly his reaction to the virus. Quark also doesn't seem affected but his usefulness is restricted for reasons you'll see in a minute. Everybody else starts acting paranoid and weird and turns on each other forming into two groups- one loyal to Sisko and the other seeking to overthrow him, led by Kira. The Klingon logs eventually show that the exact same pattern of events occured aboard their cruiser but the significance of this is downplayed by Obrien (acting as Sisko's enforcer while Sisko hides insolently in his office and DNGAF) who, correctly, points out that Kingons tend to get promoted by assassinating their commanders. How the frick things like a Gamma Quadrant planetary survey mission get done under these conditions is unfathomable. The Klingons found some kind of ancient alien historical archive and it somehow causes people to reenact ancient historical events, presumably this was supposed to happen under more controlled circumstances than we see happening here.

There are two good things about this episode: the first is the subtle way the characters are afffected by the archive- they retain their sense of selves and their motivations seem consistent with their previously established characters. Kira's initial reasons for toppling Sisko is that she thinks he and the Federation are a threat to Bajor, Dax is an old man who is full of reminiscences and Obrien is a chippy and bad tempered Irish shit. The second reason is Kira being crazy hot. I never remember finding Nana Visitor this attractive before but, God-she is sexy AF and some of her antics in this episode are particularly coom-worthy.

God I wish I was Quark right here...

Avery Brooks is quite good doing Sisko's Nero act in this episode (Brooks was always better playing bad guys) and it causes him to make a strange alien clock instead of playing a fiddle. the clock was a really nice prop and we often see it in the background in his office during subsequent episodes:

Possibility of making a Starshit hole

I'm thinking we need to have a hole dedicated to SciFi TV and movies- particularly shows like old school Star Trek, Stargate etc. I'd be willing to put 50,000 DC towards it if other people could help raise the other half of the cost. I also have no ability with CSS or banner creation. IDK, what do you think?

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pv1pt/?context=8

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pw4w6/?context=8

"What's going on I thought this was a Meme su-?"

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pxiwr/?context=8

!reportmaxxers

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pw1ju/?context=8

!nonchuds

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pvdnm/?context=8

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pxn40/?context=8

"If you can't get behind "frick nazis", then frick you."

pic.twitter.com/bcJfuE8yLQ

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 16, 2025

A Uber popular YouTuber has editors?!? Egads!!!

Sorry guys, no rebuilding your fancy houses that burned down by the ocean in LA until there’s a new crack den installed right in the middle of the neighborhood.

The area is like D+43; this seems fair. I don’t make the rules 🤷‍♂️. pic.twitter.com/SVXM5cSCnH

— Joe Lonsdale (@JTLonsdale) January 31, 2025

Taken from here: https://boards.4chan.org/co/thread/147427769#p147427769

Woman is upset the men in Korea don't all look like K-pop stars. pic.twitter.com/z3BkNphojS

— Ian Miles Cheong (@stillgray) February 17, 2025

!foidmoment

!asians

Reading reddit just makes me more racist

Found this guy on twatter, here he's celebrating TMC winning

The more these WhatsApp graduates talk about Bengal the bigger the margin Trinamool Congress will get. Chal fot !
Joy Bangla 💪✌️ https://t.co/LsxeHnaeU0

— SDutta (@SDuttaLive) February 20, 2025

Entire TL is deepthroating the party

Standard issue muslim lover whose only nashunalism is aroused for his lang(which he likely can't speak without english bastardizations anyway)

This is his pinned tweet

The party and politics he simps for with all his diseased existence stole his ancestral land to build houses for bangladeshi illegals

!bharatiya

Its very rare for people to actually get consequences of their actions like this IRL.

We've looked at Daily Mail comments on drinking in the past in Daily Mail commenters have better opinions than boozers and alcoholmisia combined, let's see how they react to the latest evidence that drinking is bad for you.

Overall, researchers found having just one alcoholic drink a week raises the risk of suffering from about 19 health conditions compared to not drinking at all.

These included a higher risk of colon and esophageal cancers and of liver cirrhosis.

Dr Kevin Shield, who was involved with the report, told DailyMail.com: 'It's important to note that our report found that no level of alcohol consumption is completely risk-free.

'The analysis results show that, among drinkers, the lower their alcohol consumption, the lower their risk of mortality.

'Conversely, as alcohol consumption increases, so does the risk of mortality. So when it comes to alcohol use, less is best for health.'

Let's look at the comments:

I hate the way that old boomers write online.

etc etc etc

The GOP needs to grow a fricking spine or Trump and Elon might cause a depression.

Now that we are freee, let's all admit that everyone loves titties. Titties are great. Hers are great. God bless titties.

A friend of mine has skin cancer and was about to start a clinical trial at MD Anderson after his other treatments did not work.

Trump's decision to temporarily halt funding for medical research also applies to clinical trials.

His treatment is now canceled. pic.twitter.com/7L8cxrwND5

— Eric Koch (@EricDKoch) January 24, 2025

why did you specifically have an issue with your driver being indian https://t.co/YXSozXoZ1Z pic.twitter.com/r5SepfdVPL

— ralph 🏳️‍🌈 (@TheRocketRalph) January 2, 2025

LOVE a b-word that doesn't back down

tho she did delete the tweet but it's understandable when your account is just posting selfies and shit and then you end up being harassed by a bunch of losers :<

anyway I'm starving and waiting for my frittata to finish cooking so I'm presenting these without any sparky comments, just imagine them yourself

ok but really ugly scrotes i can understand they're always butthurt but there's so many pickme foids calling her racist and supporting death threats against her family as if they secretly wouldn't have the same fear

No idea what I'm expecting here in terms of advice tbh.

I was involved with a man who I regarded as my soulmate, things were looking serious. We talked about marriage and the future.

He was from a Muslim background in the Middle East. I'd always been interested in his religion (Islam) and had been studying it. After a couple of years with him, I took the step of converting. Everyone in my family and friends were supportive as they knew it was my choice. There was never any pressure from him.

After converting, we scaled back on the physical side of things and both said it would be best to get married. I was all for this, loved him to bits and wanted my life with him and believed he felt the time.

Unfortunately, his parents back home in his native country had other ideas and wanted an arranged marriage to someone of their choice... After months of trying to make them see reason, he wasn't strong enough to stand by me. So I ended our relationship as I could see it was going to end in tears.

I feel so alone in Islam now. I live in a small semi rural area with no mosque, no community to speak of and I've been shying away from wanting to move on. I feel at a crossroads. There's no chance of meeting a Muslim man here. I feel so lost without him, although I feel ending it with him was the right thing to do as he'd never go against his parents' wishes. Even though he was almost 30 and well-educated.

I'm no so much looking for a husband.. It will take me a long time to get over losing him. He was the first man I ever really loved and imagined a life with. I'm just feeling a bit isolated in terms of being "the only Muslim in the village" so to speak. It's a small and very "white", middle-class community. My ex and I met at uni in a big city, where it's more common to see other Muslims and different nationalities.

I'm feeling so many different things, feel like he's thrown me under the bus. I made so much effort and sacrifice for him, changed my whole way of life and even aspects of my diet and appearance. Yet he couldn't even just stand up for me (with his parents) when it mattered. He claimed to be in love with me (I was his first), yet didn't feel able to have any firm discussion with his parents about marrying me and going through with it.

I feel that being Muslim, this would put non-Muslim men totally off me. Especially with all the negativity around the religion in the media and so on. I don't even have anyone to do Ramadan with, or even talk about the religion.

tfw only muslim in the village

also he absolutely knew he was eventually going to marry someone else, but as she said, they were engaging in the 'physical side of things' and moids will be moids if you let them do that

https://old.reddit.com/r/southafrica/comments/1icoigf/trump_administration_halts_hiv_drug_distribution/m9sh17q/?context=8

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔘🔘🔘🔘

Same, I am embarrassed AF to be American (-3)

Basedness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

They don't even want freedom for themselves. What they want is the people they dislike to suffer more than they are. They know they'll lose things they love from all this, but as long as those dirty non-christian gays, or trans, or blacks, or immigrants are having a worse day than they are, then they will be happy. It's worse than you think. It's all about seeing how many people they can make more miserable than they are. (80)

It's not worse than I think, it's worse than I'm willing to admit out loud in the hopes that I'm wrong. (22)

Basedness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

They aren't the Americans. We are. Believers in the constitution and the rule of law are the only true Americans. Don't cede that to them. (2)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

they say they love america but:they hate science experts they hate the medical expertsthey hate the mediathey hate the citiesthey hate poor people they hate the entertainersthey hate california and new yorkthey hate schools and universitiesthey hate the teachersthey hate the government they hate the experts they hate everything about america "loving" the flag doesn't make you a patriot. (42)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Lmao Reddit continues to lose elections for us.Seriously, Democrats are normal people - but Reddit is such an embarrassment.Genuinely not sure you folks go outside of a space that isn't propping up your every viewpoint.Have you ever considered how the other side feels about the plethora of decisions our Democrat presidents make?Wait, let me guess:"Everything a democrat does is good - and everything a republican does is bad - that's fact!!!! Therefore they are wrong no matter what."That's literally the argument Reddit democrats use. We've lost to the "worst literally ever Hitler Nazi common male feminist bad guy orange man" twice now.It's not because of him. ITS BECAUSE OF YOU. Stop being a pathetic groveling baby and try being understanding of people who don't share your opinions (Can't wait for the "their opinions are racist and threaten my existence" bullshit).We will continue to lose elections as long as we continue to act like insufferable pestilent children. (1)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

I'm scared honestly. I knew he was a threat from the beginning but that he was too weak last time to pull it off. Not enough backing, but now, he's got so many people pulling his strings. He's not senile, he's owned. They are keeping him out of prison, he's knows his time is limited and he doesn't want to spend what he has left in prison, paying for his crimes. I'm ashamed that so many people are defending the obvious actions of a nazi sympathiser. I'm ashamed that after 2016, I learned that there were so many nasty and racist people in the world. They were just really good at hiding. After the 2016 win it was like it was ok to be hateful again and since then it's only gotten worse. I'm scared for anyone who isn't a white male, and if you're not one of those white males then once they find out, you're screwed too. There is no shame anymore, they don't hide their faces anymore. They're out, loud and proud of it. I'm scared for my daughters, and any women, me included but for the most... (1)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/pgrechwrites

Score: 🐮🐮🔘🔘🔘

Number of comments: 4

Average angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

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Captain America: Brave New World - 51% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Worse than The Marvels.

There have been 35 MCU films and this one ranks 33rd, ahead of only The Eternals and Ant Man 3.

I thought RT was supposed to be rigged. If so, it looks like Marvel has failed to offer up the appropriate number of child sacrifices, or whatever it costs to get good reviews these days.

Whenever I see that word "geopolitical" I know I have an annoying midwit on my hands.

LMAOOOOOO YE cooking random people on IG 😭😭

— Ye Streams (@kanyestreams1) February 4, 2025

Anyone who has IG can you go see what else hes up to.

!thotpatrollers

!tmz

Feeling a little melancholic today, I yearn to return to pappa Loomis, might start the "Bridgeman marathon" this weekend.

Drew these yesterday

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

Come back after you graduate high school. Lol (78)

they don't teach you how to like people in high school and people are inherently evil and i don't need to like them if i don't want to. (-68)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

Tolerance is for putting up with a bad smell, or physical pain, not the existence of gay people or other ethnicities. (413)

as an attractive young male, i can definitely say i barely tolerate gay people. too happy and personable. and people in general. i hate everyone equally so good luck spinning me as homophobic or racist. yes i hate gays yes i hate blacks yes i hate your pasty hairy french dad yes i hate your evil 16 year old cat. get over it (-104)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

Forget the politics, the stuff she's saying about your relationship should be enough to drop her NOR (3521)

You people are sick who would drop your family over differences in opinion (-100)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

i can't believe people are seriously focusing on people being gay when someone in government just did a nazi salute lmao for God's sake. and they're not not taking them back because "they're the worst of the worst", they literally are just not taking them back because it's FRICKED UP TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE 😭 he is literally sending back literal american citizens because he is getting rid of birthright citizenship. WHY ARE WE FOCUSING ON GAY PEOPLE WHEN TRUMP IS CLEARLY GOING OFF THE DEEP END??? he's trying to get FOUR MORE YEARS AGAIN. he is literally being scary. like she should be worried, period. again, why in the absolute FRICK are people focusing on gay people when WE CANNOT AFFORD HOUSING. OR GROCERIES BARELY. we are being overworked and underpaid. immigrants are being overworked and SEVERELY underpaid and blackmailed by companies bc of their legal status. THIS IS NOT WHAT AMERICA WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. SO WHY ARE THEY NOT WORRIED??? i used to think people on the left were overreacti... (0)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Some might say that we shouldn't sever contact with our MAGA friends and family because it will let them just fall deeper into their own brainwash pit. Unfortunately that ship has sailed long ago. During his first administration this argument might have had some credibility to it but no longer. It's been a decade. They're lost. Like they are legit lost and gone. We have to sever connections to show that this is not normal. We have to show them that this insanity should not be normalized and doing things such as cutting off all contact with these nut jobs will provide a possibility of showing some folks the seriousness of this. To them they think it's politics and they don't understand why family would cut them off just because of politics. But it's not just politics anymore. It's literally infecting the daily lives of not only Americans but international societies as well. It is affecting human rights, it is oppressing people. The Germans in the 1930's let Nazis become normalized an... (0)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

So clearly you cut the start of this argument. Why? And yes if I saw "Two same-s*x parents cannot typically have biological children. But what if two men could have a baby? What do you think the s*x of the child could be" I'd also be going like WTF is this r-slurred question(AND SO SHOULD YOU). What did you expect calling her homophobic. This isn't even about homophobia, it's a stupid fricking question to have in a BIOLOGY textbook! Wtf are you people teaching your kids in the USA. At first I thought republicans were just exaggerating rare cases but shit has become so muddy I don't think either side knows what's up or down. Every well known reddit thread has become a illogical Lib/Cons cesspool of politics ,propaganda and bots(or r-slurs IDK). No fricking wonder Trump won because Dems seem to be the more radical, illogical, brainwashed morons than the republicans usually are. You people need to seriously do a reality check on yourselves or face another 8 years of Republican dominance. ... (1)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/Lopsided_Purchase235

Score: 🐮🐮🐮🐮🐮(+0🐮)

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These mayos have no sense of humor