I'm onto the glowies

Recipe

Made this for lunch just now. I've tried getting the beef right for these darn things a bunch of different ways. Internet people have all sorts of ways they've tried to get it just like the restaurants, but the only one I've seen that looked like it would realistically work was this massive bearded greek dude shoving like 5 pounds of lamb shoulder onto two spits and throwing it on a charcoal grill. I'm just trying to make lunch here, though. I've tried to make a mini spit using the rotisserie attachment in my toaster oven, and that looked and smelled great, but the meat completely dried out and was nasty inside.

Other internet ideas were like to use ground meat and form a really tight meatloaf and bake it in the oven, then you can cut thin slices off it that look a lot like the gyro places, but it's lacking the super brown crispy outside you want.

This time I bought some really thin ribeye steaks (like less than 1/2") that people usually use to make carne asada. I figured with how thin they were I'd want the pan to be really fricking hot, so I did a test run with one of them with the heat cranked all the way up on my stove and a cast iron skillet. Darn near lit my kitchen on fire, like the oil in the pan actually just made a poof noise and burst into flames. The steak didn't get burned though, even with me moving it around in the pan to smother the fire. The steak was a perfect medium rare cooking it just one minute a side. Problem, though: medium rare steak is too chewy for sandwich or sandwich-adjacent preparations.

Finally, I marinated the rest of the steaks and cooked them with slightly less heat (although still enough that the pan was smoking up my kitchen) for 2 minutes a side. They're pretty well done, but perfect for a gyro because you can bite through the pieces so easily. Then I put this together and smashed the whole thing into my face. The end.

The menu would be focused on the hits.

• Breakfast 24/7 -- BK French Toast and McD pancakes + hashbrown. Don't know which one you feel like? That means you want both.

• Arby's crinkle fries

• Arby's curly fries

(these are the only fries)

• Arby's Roast Beef sandwiches

• Burger King Whoppers

• McDonald's Nuggets

• McDonald's Cones

• Wendy's Frosties (chocolate only)

• Taco Bell tacos

• Taco Bell burrito supreme

• Pizza Hut personal pans

If the franchising fees didn't kill you, you'd make a million dollars a day.

!goyslopenjoyers !jidf

I need ideas / recipes for easy to make kazakhstan food.

I have to make a bunch of Kazakhi food for reasons so I need easy recipes without much substitution. Like substituting cow for lamb is acceptable.

Currently I'm thinking of making Boortsog and Samsa.

I was thinking of maybe Shashlik since it's basically a kebab and easy

Title

https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/us-requires-bird-flu-tests-any-cattle-moving-interstate-commerce-2024-04-24/

!goyslopenjoyers I saw this one at the gas station when I saw the dr. pebbah flavored one but I didn't buy it until recently

out of desire for completeness, even after being burned by the soda stick, I returned to mr jack link's loving arms to be fed more meat

conclusion? this onen was pretty much normal. frito chili cheese blends well with the concept of meat stick

in fact I ate it last week but I took a break from marsey due to a deat h in the family

and I don't remember anything about it.

I was also eating ground beef with cheese in it that night (homemade slop)

it all blended together

far and above the dr pepper meat which still sits on my desk to this day, opened, bereft one tiny bite, ever enduring. I'll see how long the preservatives last.

if it isn't useful as food it can be of use to science

today i went out to a taco restaurant and ordered the strangest item i've seen on their menu

chicken tendies breaded in hot cheeto dust, hot cheeto aioli, macaroni and cheese, and fruity pebbles

rated 6/10

the macaroni would've been much better and slop-pilled if kraft rather than their queso fresco. the fruity pebbles were good.

ended up not eating the other taco because this was a behemoth

!goyslopenjoyers

Fried Spam (Great Value luncheon meat) with egg on rice w/corn, feat. sriracha & mayo, drizzled w/soy sauce and wrapped in nori

I have a confession to make. I watch cooking youtubers. I'm sorry, I understand if you block me after having admitted that. I made the thing from this video:

I like Sam the Cooking Guy. He's funny. He posts almost every day because he's a sperg (also because I believe he's the #1 cooking youtube guy right now). You have to take his reactions with a grain of salt. He will make a salisbury steak or something and act like he's jizzing in his pants on camera because it's so good. It probably isn't really that good. This recipe is pretty good, though.

I did everything as described in his recipe link, except for two things. I followed the directions for my rice cooker instead of whatever he said, and I omitted his sauce, because it seemed unnecessary. There were already green onions, garlic, and ginger in the rice. I didn't see a good reason to put a sauce made out of mostly just those same 3 ingredients on top. I just squirted this (awesome) crap all over it instead:

This was a good recipe. It was extremely low effort, and it was very good. I barely spent any time in the kitchen at all. Highly recommended.

PS: sorry about the weird blur, I guess Samsung was feeling artsy today.

The review is a bit weird for modern standards, it never tells the readers if pizza is tasty.