Hello my fellow Mobians it is I Elias Acorn, King of the house of Acorn with fresh intel from Robtoniks Robotropolis. The dastardly Robotonik forces his overlander subjects to eat nothing but liquid soy feed in order to save money for his cruel schemes, but it seems his Soylent factories are starting to run out. One over lander notices:

Shortages, discounts at supermarkets, no refunds, service delays. Is this it?

To which this astute Overlander noticed:

When I posted my concerns about their financial health 3 months ago, soylent_team replied saying:

We promise we aren't going anywhere. There have been some bumps this year, but hang on with us, we promise we are here to stay! [1]

In August, their CEO said:

We have integrated and created efficiencies through our shared service platform for our brands over the course of 2023 and 2024 allowing the Company to now experience tremendous retail expansion, topline growth and higher margins. [...] If you look at any of our portfolio companies we are winning because we have extremely unique products and brands with defensive moats and scaling distribution [2]

However, their accountants sounded less upbeat when they wrote in a recent filing:

substantial doubt exists related to the Company's ability to meet its obligations as they become due within one year [3]

[1] https://old.reddit.com/r/soylent/comments/1fq0sju/comment/lp3iwpu/?context=8

[2] https://investors.starcobrands.com/press-releases/detail/93/starco-brands-announces-insider-stock-buy-back-plan-and

[3] See "NOTE 2 – GOING CONCERN" here.

This overlander wonders how Doctor Robtonik's mean bean soylent machine could have ever run into problems:

It must take a special kind of incompetence to screw up such a fabulous company. I mean, the Soylent founders built a great tasting, nutritional product, gained a loyal and enthusiastic following, expanded the product line, went international, and were a market leader. They had every advantage! Now look at them - a struggling unit of a penny stock company that can't meet its commitments. What a bloody shame.

Im sure eating nothing but soy feed and motor oil is nutritious

This sad overlander is so dependent on the soy feed he is now unable to eat normal food:

I would die if soylent went out of business

While Robtonik serves other forms of gruel to his subjects it seems they are somehow even worse then the dreeded soylent

They really need new ownership under someone that cares about the brand and the company's original vision. The Starco buyout was the beginning of the end. At the end of the day, Soylent's original powder is the only product I have been able to drink daily for years and not have any issues. If anything it is consistent. I tried Huel as an alternative due to the shortage and I HATED it. It tastes like plain oatmeal with 20 packets of Splenda and is so thick you need a spoon to consume it (not to mention it gives me a painful stomach ache). So is Soylent going under? I honestly don't know, but I do hope that someone competent can right the clearly sinking ship that is the Soylent brand.

This is why in the Kingdom of Knothole we only eat the finest real foods like Uncle Chuck's chili dogs rather then this technological abomination. Source Speed Freedom Fighters may you win in your quest to free these poor souls

If you have, does it actually work? I can't decide whether I believe it, or if it's just some peepeelet hopium propaganda.

Greatest President ever! pic.twitter.com/U8BuPVwSwd

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) February 7, 2025

It was dumb when plastic straws were outlawed, it's dumb when they're brought back in Plastic Q-tips on the other hand...

Jumbotrons are down, I repeat jumbotrons are down

Trump knows True Democrat Patriots are in control and will arrest him

Is Dark Brandon rounding up MAGA chuds to have them mass executed in the Capitol Arena? Possibly.

Is Trump's inaugeration committee going to turn Judas on him and install a favored Republican President in a very rare double steal?

Further Patriots plan on executing Operation Lalala I can't hear you

Vance annoyed by papparazzi, this is a sign

If any word has described blue-anons since the election, I don't think happy would be it

https://rdrama.net/post/336707/pizzashill-3-minutes-after-getting-dumped/7689385#context

Link to the post

!incels is it really over for you if you are sub 6 feet/180cm and don't have above average looks? No surprise like 30% of young males are incels.

"Don't go for shallow girls. If height is that important to her, then you dodged a bullet with that one dude."

The amount of bullets the average subhuman is dodging in a day

what in the frick

!firearms

South Africa is a constitutional democracy that is deeply rooted in the rule of law, justice and equality. The South African government has not confiscated any land.

The recently adopted Expropriation Act is not a confiscation instrument, but a constitutionally mandated legal…

— Cyril Ramaphosa 🇿🇦 (@CyrilRamaphosa) February 3, 2025

It also stops with trans while I was referring to Transactions 💀💀

theyre not going to use those coins anyway

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔘🔘🔘🔘

Same, I am embarrassed AF to be American (-3)

Basedness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

They don't even want freedom for themselves. What they want is the people they dislike to suffer more than they are. They know they'll lose things they love from all this, but as long as those dirty non-christian gays, or trans, or blacks, or immigrants are having a worse day than they are, then they will be happy. It's worse than you think. It's all about seeing how many people they can make more miserable than they are. (80)

It's not worse than I think, it's worse than I'm willing to admit out loud in the hopes that I'm wrong. (22)

Basedness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

They aren't the Americans. We are. Believers in the constitution and the rule of law are the only true Americans. Don't cede that to them. (2)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

they say they love america but:they hate science experts they hate the medical expertsthey hate the mediathey hate the citiesthey hate poor people they hate the entertainersthey hate california and new yorkthey hate schools and universitiesthey hate the teachersthey hate the government they hate the experts they hate everything about america "loving" the flag doesn't make you a patriot. (42)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Lmao Reddit continues to lose elections for us.Seriously, Democrats are normal people - but Reddit is such an embarrassment.Genuinely not sure you folks go outside of a space that isn't propping up your every viewpoint.Have you ever considered how the other side feels about the plethora of decisions our Democrat presidents make?Wait, let me guess:"Everything a democrat does is good - and everything a republican does is bad - that's fact!!!! Therefore they are wrong no matter what."That's literally the argument Reddit democrats use. We've lost to the "worst literally ever Hitler Nazi common male feminist bad guy orange man" twice now.It's not because of him. ITS BECAUSE OF YOU. Stop being a pathetic groveling baby and try being understanding of people who don't share your opinions (Can't wait for the "their opinions are racist and threaten my existence" bullshit).We will continue to lose elections as long as we continue to act like insufferable pestilent children. (1)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

I'm scared honestly. I knew he was a threat from the beginning but that he was too weak last time to pull it off. Not enough backing, but now, he's got so many people pulling his strings. He's not senile, he's owned. They are keeping him out of prison, he's knows his time is limited and he doesn't want to spend what he has left in prison, paying for his crimes. I'm ashamed that so many people are defending the obvious actions of a nazi sympathiser. I'm ashamed that after 2016, I learned that there were so many nasty and racist people in the world. They were just really good at hiding. After the 2016 win it was like it was ok to be hateful again and since then it's only gotten worse. I'm scared for anyone who isn't a white male, and if you're not one of those white males then once they find out, you're screwed too. There is no shame anymore, they don't hide their faces anymore. They're out, loud and proud of it. I'm scared for my daughters, and any women, me included but for the most... (1)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/pgrechwrites

Score: 🐮🐮🔘🔘🔘

Number of comments: 4

Average angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

Maximum angriness: 😡😡🔘🔘🔘

Minimum angriness: 😡🔘🔘🔘🔘

NEW: Subscribe to /h/miners to see untapped drama veins, ripe for mining!

autodrama: automating away the jobs of dramneurodivergents. Ping HeyMoon if there are any problems or you have a suggestion

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pv1pt/?context=8

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pw4w6/?context=8

"What's going on I thought this was a Meme su-?"

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pxiwr/?context=8

!reportmaxxers

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pw1ju/?context=8

!nonchuds

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pvdnm/?context=8

https://old.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1i82wvi/we_need_to_deal_with_nazi_supporters_on_this_sub/m8pxn40/?context=8

"If you can't get behind "frick nazis", then frick you."

@Rad_juju !animalposters

Clearly, this vidya is unoptimized trash. It couldn't be that my 1000 series card is nearly a decade old now. No, no, it's Id that have let themselves become jeeted and r-slurred. I don't want to play anything my 1080 can't run... BUT I ALSO REALLY NEED TO PLAY DOOM DORK AGES. But since I can't it's shit and a flop. Gigaflop! If I keep calling it a flop it definitely will flop. No I do not have sour grapes.

Daily Brazilian thread

Anyways come laugh at poorstrags and thirdies.

Whoever chose the title was doing a bit of trolling

Concord and implacability, name a more iconic duo

Episode opens with shitty pirate accent voice about Concord's lore. FTL travel exists but randomly kills people sometimes

TFW traveling through the limitless reaches of space at hyperlight speeds but you get sniped by a screw

Scene cuts to random woman(?) bound up

Dollar store Thanos confirms that the protag is a foid. Apparently she has some special chip that Thanos wants to extract.

We cut to a new character

He seems to be working with a grumpy

The two men spring into action, opening a door containing the Black lady. , , and a doctor all spring into action. They free the woman, smash a window, and try ziplining away. Thanos cuts the zipline Lots of MCU-style quips

There was also this character distracting some guards in the background. Apparently another member of the crew

The teletubby starts blasting Thanos with its finger guns. Teletubby gets shot in the head, but is revealed to be a talking fish.

Some trash mobs swarm the crew, I guess they're looking to another crew member for backup. "They say Julius is amazing. Always on, always ready..."

He wasn't actually ready lmfao!!!! Typical worthless tbh .

Sniper tells him they need to go so he closes the ramp and starts to leave . The rest of the crew make it half a second before the ship launches. The Captain(?) isn't seen reaching the ship. They bicker for a while, until a scary guard enters the room holding them at gunpoint. Surprise, it's actually the Black woman captain!!!

They for a bit about whether or not the captain has secured the valuable route through space. She did . Apparently the chip she had in her arm grants access to every single guild navigation route.

Cuts to the guild attacking the ship. The ship loses all of its fins(??) that allow it to steer. Julius starts to so takes back over on the ship.

Somehow, everyone randomly starts passing out

But wait! Julius is shown wearing a gas mask and walking away with a smug look. Is the blond white male a traitor?

Cut to waking up from the knockout gas. Julius and Thanos are chatting on Zoom. Thanos wants the chip and and promises to leave the rest of the crew alone. Surprisingly, the crew seems cool with this and asks for a bounty. The bounty is large

12,500,000 MONEYS!?!?!

gets up and challenges Julius to tie her down . He gets nervous and unfastens to back him up. But SURPRISE! is still loyal to the captain! He opens the airlock, killing Julius and nobody else.

gives a hand.

This gives an idea. She uploads the chip and its trade routes to the galactic internet

Thanos rages, the crew accelerate forward with their ship, heading straight into the big scary storm foreshadowed earlier.

There's a gay slowmo montage of them all nodding at each other as purple storm magic swirls around them. The bartender who has been telling this whole story reveals that they may have survived, because he has the funko pop that they brought onto that ship.

Final Rating: 3/10 . ChatGPT writes Guardians of the Galaxy fanfiction. I shouldn't have wasted my time watching and reviewing this garbage. I hope this post is long enough to count as an effortpost, but if it isn't, the least you can do is upmarsey me or donate some dramacoin for going to all this trouble and saving you from having to watch this terrible episode. Thanks!

!chuds !nonchuds genuinely what prompts even the most lefty leftoid to say shit like this.

I need DC asap because the casino is fricking rigged, so you're getting a movie review! This movie is like two years old now and I still think about it to this day, not because of the pornographic scene, but because of the storyline.

The whole idea behind the movie is that a 30 year old dommie-mommie is broke asl and needs to pay property taxes to keep her mom's house. Instead of selling it off, she wants to keep it because of the NOSTALGIA o algo. To get the money, she finds a craigslist offer about a family who's giving away a car for a hot single in their area to "date" their son. The whole reason behind this is that their son is an incel (not a he-man woman hater incel) and they want to get him used to socializing before he's sent off to college. After this, the movie is mostly comedic filler that doesn't really expand on the story, but is still fun to watch. She goes to the place that the son is working at (as the parents don't want him to know it's all staged) and tries seducing him. I forgot how it happens but she ends up getting him in some van and he pepper-sprays her thinking she's going to r*pe him (friggin sweet!). The only other memorable part is the scene on the beach where they go skinny dipping for some reason, a group of teens steal their clothes and a NAKED JENNIFER LAWRENCE beats the shit out of them. After that she tries having s*x with the incel but he refuses, so she then steals HIS clothes and tries to drive off which results in him jumping on her (borrowed) car and fighting for some reason. The scene is both funny and arousing (to me at least). I also now permanently associate Maneater with this scene, which is somewhat nice.

Later in the movie, the incel finds true love and ALMOST has s*x with someone who wasn't trying to use him, but SHE ends up barging in and ending anything that was going on between them. The next day, the incel overhears his parents conversing with the MC about how she needs to convince him to go to college and not stay with the actual love of his life. In a fit of rage, he calls over his groomercord buddy to crash the reward car and tries to scam her into having s*x. He ends up prematurely ejaculating because WHO WOULDN'T? The movie then becomes boring as they retract from the main point about the incel and go back to the MC's useless self-inflicted issue about paying off the house. She decides to sell the house and move to California because her friends are moving away too and this makes her start to think if soying over nostalgia is actually productive to her life.

This movie did have it's own fair share of drama (albeit wasn't that big) where the film was accused of normalizing grooming.

Xhe almost has a point, the part where it falls flat though is that I would be happy to be in his position.

During the whole movie, I felt a huge connection with this dude. I suggest giving it a watch if you're ever in need of a laugh/feeling down/feeling romantical.

Congratulations Best Country Album winner - 'COWBOY CARTER' @beyonce 🎶 #GRAMMYs pic.twitter.com/jLVnG5T6aw

— Recording Academy / GRAMMYs (@RecordingAcad) February 3, 2025

Beyoncé won the Grammy for the best country album.

Even she knows it's rigged pic.twitter.com/NzncvWTal2

— TaraBull (@TaraBull808) February 3, 2025

There’s no way Beyoncé deserved to win a Grammy for Best Country Album for “Cowboy Carter”. It’s not even good! She only won because she’s a black woman and the Grammys are woke af. This was a DEI award. pic.twitter.com/7FVMZg6R40

— Right Winged Angel (@RightWngdAngel) February 3, 2025

Beyonce can shut the frick up now. You see the win for #GRAMMYs and she's NOT country. That's fricking dog shit music. And you know that they paid for that best of country album. Wonder how much Jay Z paid the academy to get that shit for her?

Fricking pitiful. No wonder I skip it.

— Danny 🇺🇸🏒⚾️🐈✝️ (@HawkeyeRoad) February 3, 2025

the CMAs didn’t even consider beyonce and she still won best country album at the grammys. i know those racists mad #Grammys pic.twitter.com/9Maotr5m9r

— ‏ً (@drivenbyfilms) February 3, 2025

Imagine they tried to play Beyoncé at the country music awards by not even giving her a single nomination, meanwhile she won a whole butt Grammy for Best Country Album. pic.twitter.com/YRMw8gm15E

— goodaz. (@tsunamitaj) February 3, 2025

Kacey Musgraves was SO PISSED about Beyonce winning Best Country Album 😂 #grammys pic.twitter.com/u95FYUm2vg

— Don Chenz (@DonChenz) February 3, 2025

Taylor Swift presenting Beyonce with the Grammy for Best Country Album is sure to make MAGA heads explode. pic.twitter.com/i93W2dCUJV

— Art Candee 🍿🥤 (@ArtCandee) February 3, 2025

I don't care about Beyonce or country music and have never listened to a second of this album, but I think it's pretty obvious this is how Kamala can still win.

You read it right. If you are interested, drop a time you'll be free in the next 12 hours.

I have gradually accumulated this 2025 year of skincare spares from dollar tree. Their glow recipe dupes are amazing, too! I love the collagen line (blue containers and droppers). If anyone has skincare questions, hmu!