Slipped and sprained my ankle.... RIP, productive Juju

I'm watching medicinal cyraxx content. OHHH GAWDDD... Bless up, Marty. !ranchers !animalposters !cats

Zhonggup grows stronger

WARNING: EXTREMELY BORING AND PERSONAL BLOGPOST AHEAD, I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU DO NOT READ IT UNLESS YOU'RE A OR MY FRIEND. THANK YOU.

i debated whether or not to make this post but ultimately decided i should lay out my reasons for (attempting) to quit using the site again, if only to get one last good dose of attention, maybe get some finality, and exist as a cautionary tale. this is not a "frick you userbase" post or insistence for the administration to do anything about the sites content or userbase, simply my logic for why i think i personally should stop using it. i would also generally advise other trans people to avoid the site as well but i know plenty of people who do get something out of reading chud shitholes (seriously i see so many ovarit/kf screenshots on tttt reddit its insane).

anyway i have the big depression. i'm not the most suicidal i've ever been and i'm not considering self harm but i would describe my mental state as seriously fricked up bros. this means more bedrotting, more binge eating, more lapses in executive function, more isolation. i've also for the first time in my short 27 year timespan on this earth actually dug more into these feelings and analyzed them, though this has not lead to any great understanding or an "a-ha" moment on my part. at best it's made me relate more to the stereotypical descriptions of depression and dysphoria. i'm not gonna go too deep into that because its embarrassing tbh. in the past i haven't really considered rdrama to be a major factor in this. a contributor to be sure but i always thought i got more out of it than it took for me. maybe that was delusion or maybe i was just better at tanking the damage in the past. maybe i just took enough and longer breaks and i was never cut out for using the site for an extended period of time. idk. here's some conjecture for why i think its particularly bad for me now:

1) half the country despises my existence and while this fact has always been true it hasn't been as relevant. this leads to me being inundated with a double dose of hatred shoved into my face, first when i see the news elsewhere and again when i browse rdrama. and yes i know nothing ever happens and im being hysterical and yadda yadda yadda. nobody can take my HRT away from me, diy exists. nobody (besides immigrants) is going to be put into camps, things will get better it'll just take time. doesn't mean it's not scary. should i be scared boymoding in a red state? probably not but seeing a news article about kim reynolds trying to legally declare me subhuman certainly isn't fricking helping me not be scared.

2) rdrama has just continued to go on a downward spiral? being someone who started using 4chan at age 12 in 2010 and was constantly called out for being a newstrag, i never really bought into "communities degrade over time" rhetoric. mainly because people are always saying shit is getting worse and i was either too dumb to recognize it or part of the problem myself in the past. but anyway. its definitely a thing with rdrama. a lot of users i liked or at least recognized as someone worth my time have been banned or left the site. and the people coming in to replace them are not the best and brightest. its just. i really really don't care if youre a chud. like yes seeing your ignorant opinions about certain topics does tend to make me flare up with angst, but i really try to not take it too seriously and just have a fun time. it just feels like people aren't coming here to have a fun time or shoot the shit about hobbies or do a little casual reddit trolling. it feels like they're coming here to make themselves and everyone around them miserable.

3) i have better social avenues elsewhere. i'm not talking about tttt because i don't think i'll ever feel like i fit in there, but i do have a friend now who i feel like is on a similar wavelength to me. and interacting with that person has made me realize i have so much more me to express than i am capable of doing on rdrama. its a rather dire comparison that has made me realize more and more how fricking stupid i am for putting up with this for so long. i said it the other day, lonely people tend to act deranged, and it turns out having your sole social outlet be a website full of people that hate you is pretty fricking deranged. being surrounded by people that hate me has been my modus operandi for a long time (much longer than i've been on rdrama), and only now am i realizing how fricked up that is. i'm not conceited enough to say i'm finally growing up, but i do think this time is a little bit different. idk we'll see i guess lmao

thats that. i'll respond to comments here but after that im outie 5k, gonna log out everywhere and scramble my password again. i once again do not know how to end this post

!cuteandvalid

A senator yelling that the science can be wrong, but we shouldn’t question it because The Science is settled, perfectly sums up the absurdity of what we dealt with during Covid pic.twitter.com/bEnXt4v3cC

— Ian Miller (@ianmSC) January 30, 2025

IDK what the context is

ROSS ULBRICHT LOST $12M ON PUMPFUN...

Ross Ulbricht, or someone with access to his wallets, just accidentally nuked the price of a pumpfun coin sent to him while trying to provide liquidity on Raydium.

Because he initialized the liquidity pool at the wrong price, $1.5M of the… pic.twitter.com/kN5BN2mN49

— Arkham (@arkham) January 30, 2025

lmao

An east London councillor has been charged with perverting the course of justice by allegedly trying to influence a 16-year-old girl into dropping her allegation of r*pe.

Abdul Malik, 50, who represents Blackwall and Cubitt Town ward on Tower Hamlets Council, was due to appear at Thames magistrates court on Friday to face the charge for the first time.

It is said he "contacted the father of a 16-year-old complainant of r*pe and told him to get his daughter to drop the charges against the male alleged to have r*ped her and get him out of custody, which had a tendency to pervert the course of public justice".

The incident is alleged to have happened on January 23. The father and aunt of the suspected male feminist are accused of also intervening two weeks earlier.

Abdul Roqib, 45, is accused of contacting the 16-year-old on January 10 "to ask her to drop the charges against his son, which had a tendency to pervert the course of public justice".

Rahela Begum, 41, is also accused of also contacting the girl on the same day to allegedly try to convince her to withdraw from the criminal case.

All three defendants are due to appear in court to face a charge of committing an act or series of acts with intent to pervert the course of public justice.

Malik sits on Tower Hamlets council for the Aspire Party, which is led by the borough's directly-elected Mayor Lutfur Rahman.

He currently sits as chair of the Human Resources Committee, and also has a seat on the licensing committee, having first been elected to the council in 2022.

It is understood Malik, of Mercury Walk, Tower Hamlets, Roqib, of Warrior Square in Manor Park, and Begum, of Rye Road in Hoddesdon, were held in custody before their court hearing.

Night owls. People who prefer to stay up at night until late. Are they real? From a quick research it seems there ain't much controversy to the idea of people who just naturally prefer the dark of night and it's not a new concept either.

Many things can affect your sleep schedule, like a bad diet, a sedentary lifestyle, too much screentime, and on... and a bad sleep schedule can affect many things about you.

But for me? I can't quite recall a single time in my life where sleeping wasn't a problem. Sometimes to a lesser extent, sometimes to a major extent. I don't recall much from when I was a kid, but one thing I'm aware of is that even before the invention of modern day computers and celphones, I had trouble waking up early, going to sleep at ''normal'' times and a general lack of energy during the day and excess of energy during the night. It's actually so ridiculous it's funny, I can spend an entire day feeling like I can drop dead from sleepiness at any moment, but comes midnight and all my sleepiness goes away.

During highschool, most students from my class didn't like waking up early, but they didn't have much trouble with it. It was more of an annoyance than anything. Meanwhile every day for me felt like an herculean task, felt like dragging my body throughout my house and into school. It's funny, as I write this I remember a day a classmate came to school completely hangover, and the state she was in was kinda how I felt every day (but less r-slurred).

And it didn't really get better as the hours went by, if anything it was WORSE. I had school from 7AM to 1PM, but during thursdays it was from 7AM to 5PM. Those days, during the last class, I'd be so tired I'd have to consciously try to keep myself awake. But that's not all, I would get home at around 6PM and sleep from 6PM to 12AM, obviously missing class on friday. So I had a choice: either skip thursday afternoon classes or skip friday classes. I was physically incapable of attending both.

But why am I writing all this shit?

Recently I tried to 'fix' my schedule. I was going to sleep at around 4 or 5AM and waking up anywhere from 12AM to 4PM. So yesterday I woke up early and stayed awake the whole day. Went to sleep at 12AM, only to wake up at 4AM and feel like a walking corpse. I was frustrated and obviously tired as frick so I slept from 8AM to about 3PM. I've been thinking about this and researching as much as I can about sleep cycles and nocturnal people, though researching this stuff is kinda aids.

Right now I'm thinking of saying screw it. Trying to fix in 'normal' hours feels like trying to force a cube into the ball hole.

!coons

Wait... wasn't the bombing of Dresden a borderline war crime because it almost exclusively targeted civilians? pic.twitter.com/bQFeCswAD3

— Reddit Lies (@reddit_lies) February 6, 2025

!Nonchuds Mask off moment

"but muh civilians" Nazis deserved all that they got just like Japs deserved to get nuked

If a judge tried to tell a general how to conduct a military operation, that would be illegal.

If a judge tried to command the attorney general in how to use her discretion as a prosecutor, that's also illegal.

Judges aren't allowed to control the executive's legitimate power.

— JD Vance (@JDVance) February 9, 2025

Burgers have an extremely r-slurred political system. If a PM in Canada actually tried the Burger "Ignore the courts", the House of Commons would force a non confidence vote, and they would likely lose it.

What's the point of the judiciary if one of the President's goons says "The President said so"?

MAGA cultists should be forced to pay a 300% tariff on everything.

First Anna goes off on discount Anna Kasparian (Emma something, the r-slurred host of pod save america or similar podcast, doesn't matter which one they're all the same):

>You're a nepo baby rich b-word, frick you as a staff, record label and as a motherfrickin' crew

I remember Emma telling me, verbatim "I never have to work a day in my life if I don't want to" because of how wealthy her family is. Your mom threw a nice little fundraiser for Sen. Gillibrand in 2019, right? I get why you're so attached to a party that fricked over the working… https://t.co/zbFeRiWkFv

— Ana Kasparian (@AnaKasparian) February 2, 2025

Then some dumbass tried to pin her as jealous of... hasan the r-slurred host of pod save america (all the same, doesn't matter)

At least she’s doing the work… weren’t you also jealous of Hasan..?

— Dieter (@Bukniak) February 2, 2025

Well, surprise, that dude hasan is the nephew (actual nephew, not an nword euphemism) of Anna's long time co-host Chunk Yoghurt and she spills the beans on how he's scared of his viewers and secretly hates them

Hasan is a slave to his audience. I've never seen a man more terrified of the people who watch his streams. I would never be jealous of that. https://t.co/0YfEMSCpMb

— Ana Kasparian (@AnaKasparian) February 2, 2025

I made a joke ONCE about how I'd like to just play video games and make millions and these morons took it literally. I would rather scrub pottys than be Hasan. He's glued to a computer for 8+ hours a day, placating an audience I know for a fact he hates. Maybe don't open up to… https://t.co/XpQmpg1aWI

— Ana Kasparian (@AnaKasparian) February 2, 2025

Hope you enjoyed the post, have a nice day dramatard

been getting into ja rule, mystikal, missy elliot, ludacris, all the greats of the 2000s

got any favorites?

Pete Davidson debuts new look for Reformation’s Valentine campaign after spending $200k on tattoo removal. pic.twitter.com/Il65OutKY1

— Buzzing Pop (@BuzzingPop) February 11, 2025

!tmz

@hypernovasaiz

!r-slurs

!codecels !burgers

Another great example of American education going down the drain

So Trashley St. Clair of the sexlaptop who sold nudes and fucked ANYTHING for clout and career leg ups including Elon whose child she claims she just had

We need to discuss

— MILO (@Nero) September 6, 2024

And naturally Elon stays winning