Another great example of American education going down the drain

We're playing the turboneurodivergent Dawn of Civilization mod for Civilization IV that replicates world history. !g*mers

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

With the research of Logistics technologically the Roman Empire has reached the Renaissance age. It's 1015AD so we're quite advanced, almost a full age ahead of medieval Europe

Persia isn't even matching us anymore but China has researched one technology we haven't (Printing Press).

We already have a spy settling east to take care of that

We're already discovering Brazil, interacting with the natives and fighting panthers

We prove that the world is round when we discover Japan

In Rhyes and Fall if you found a city in the Renaissance you get a bunch of free buildings. In Dawn of Civilization it's the same, but settlers in a new age can also be used to rush buildings that would have been provided otherwise. Here we can build a bunch of stuff for free with "Rebuild", including a library and a forge. We'll need these because Poland just spawned, hello Poland

Athens has historically been our Great People city since it's conquest, though Rome is catching up. We've had a Great Prophet born here, Eusebius.

We're sending him to Jerusalem to found the Temple of Solomon.

This will let us then build the Dome of the Rock, which will boost the output of St. Peter's Bascilica in Rome.

When we discover Economics we get a free Great Merchant (Marcus Crassus), and with Economics we can have him build a Stock Exchange in Rome

After the Dome of the Rock is built, St. Peter's Bascilica is maxed out at 40 gold per turn.

Rome turns a 150+ gold profit per turn

England is coming for Ireland.

We go straight for London, after capturing it they become the "English Government in Exile" but still refuse negotiations.

Really wish the AI was prone to settling just one more city in England It's kind of annoying that London controls its entire English core.

When a European or Christian civ researches Academia, the Protestant Reformation begins and Europe erupts in war. Since we're already fighting England, now is a good time to do it. Protestantism is founded in Rhegium.

We can adopt Protestantism, allow Protestantism to spread, or stamp it out. After all the work I've put into Catholicism you should know what I'm gonna pick.

England joins the Reformation, as expected. Portugal and the Norse join them. France probably would have if they weren't under my boot. Austria (the Holy Roman Empire) and Poland do not, fortunately.

The Italian Maritime Republics are supposed to spawn in 1167AD. In a normal medieval game they spawn in north Italy and found Florence, taking Milan and Padua with them. I was afraid my two core cities were going to secede and I would need to reconquer them, but the 1167AD date has passed so apparently not. I can focus on the Reformation wars.

The Austrians have claimed Denmark, blocking Norse access from Birka. The Norse have a port from Nidaros but I'm not too worried about them, we might need to be ready for a little naval harassment. They're at war with England, so there's not a risk of them reinforcing them.

With espionage I can see the Portugese army in Lisbon. It's big (see unit icons at the bottom)

In fact, they're one of the stronger military powers right now. Ethiopia is also up there too, interedasting

If I don't take care of them they could frick up my vassal Spain, so while waiting my main army to arrive I reinforce their cities with troops from Tarragona and Alicante.

A couple good wonders are becoming available, to get them up I think it's time to expend my Great People for a Golden Age.

The Ottomans should be coming too so I want to need to start getting gunpowder units up everywhere to properly fight these guys:

England collapses If they had just been willing to surrender I would have returned London to them. I maybe should have taken their city in Scotland instead, but I really wanted them to capitulate.

This is going to screw up world history a little There will be no British Raj. The United States spawns assuming there are European colonies there, there will still probably be some but not in the same way. We might get a Dutch New Amsterdam instead of New York.

We already have an explorer in America. Maybe we could even colonize it

At least Alfred did well with his time running London. He's given it a Great General and a Great Engineer. It's still in our historic expansion zone so I think we'll keep it. Ireland is not, so I might set it free.

By the time my army arrives at Lisbon, Portugal is willing to surrender, but as it's the "Rise of the Portugese" they can't capitulate. I figure I will allow peace so I can properly focus on the coming Ottomans.

But suddenly, something extremely strange happens.

Byzantine leader Basil I appears out of nowhere

Apparently Persia collapsed. Right after I lost 500 gold investing espionage against them

And Turkey has become the Byzantine "Empire of Dorylaion". I had no idea this was a thing.

This is the city that the Persians burnt down when I first conquered Greece, rebuilt, and I helped defend from the Arabs. It's been a valuable espionage center for centuries. What a journey it's been

A few turns later we become the "Western Roman Empire", but no cities want to secede. It's not the Eastern Roman Empire, it's just this weird made up new "Dorylaion empire". Fascinating Regrettably they do choose to become Pr*test*nt

My spy sees that Genghis Khan has arrived and the Chinese are fukt

After China collapses they start mopping up the remnants of Persia too

...and harassing my new Byzantinebros

Notice that Mazaka is in revolt, when mongols are the gates the citizens panic

We're still stable but have outdated civics - apparently the culprit is Merchant Trade.

Time for a revolution.

Regulated Trade has stability and general gameplay synergy with Bureaucracy. I'll miss my Despotism whip but Monarchy will further boost our stability.

Thalassocracy's benefits are negligible especially as more towns are popping up (Roma is working 3 towns and 2 fishing boats for example so we'll lose 1 commerce), and it no longer has a stability benefit with Merchant Trade. There's not much point to colonize too much but Colonialism will be fun anyway. We'll get some slaves and slave plantations up

So many High upkeep civics and losing the free units from Vassalage is gonna hurt. But it's a very stable combo and Roma is so profitable that focusing all commerce to the capital might outperform the costs.

Sure enough, once the revolution is settled it turns out to be profitable. With Rome pumping out 275 gold per turn we're making 5 gold a turn at 50% research funding instead of losing 6.

Around 1280AD the short lived Empire of Dorylaion collapses.

No Ottoman Empire ever appearaed I'm guessing the weird Turkish Byzantine Empire in their place prevented it.

I guess we can go ahead and mop up Turkey now.

We finally have unified borders and we're back to being the "Roman Empire" instead of the "Western Roman Empire".

The mongols right on my nuts are a little worrying tho. When Temujin asks me to fight Kievan Rus I have no problem doing so, any little thing to potentially keep this guy off my back.

I take Tarnopol and call it a day before setting it free. Later the mongols take Kyiv and Sweden France scoops up Tarnopol

Since Spain and France are our provinces we technically have Trajan's borders now!

Oh except Poortugal. Whatevs. What a beautiful empire regardless

I was really expecting a big civil war and conflict with the Ottomans, it really does appear that the weird Byzantine state blocked them from spawning. This is very good for us. But if the mongols invade, as they're prone to do, it could be trouble.

For now, time to look towards the new world

I accidentally discovered the Inca, spreading disease to them

Mexico is controlled by Toltecs, predecessors of the Aztec. No conquistadors for either It might only be available to colonial European powers.

I've given my vassal France and Spanish technology to colonize, so they should get started soon

Since I accidentally killed England, I can take care of colonizing America instead

I think I'm going to colonize the Deep South so we can set up some tobacco plantations

And I've got a crew headed to Africa for some labor

Australia will be next and should be uncontested

Till next time Civ4bros

Part 7

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

26M and 22F. You've been dating for 5 years meaning you were 21 and she was 17 when you started dating?Is no one else going to mention that? (252)

Yes thats correct. In hindsight, should've been a red flag that she didn't want to date people her own age. At the time, my peepee was doing the thinking. (-69)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

The only way I'd say your girlfriend might be right is if your hygiene was lacking due to the phimosis. Noone likes an UTI given by old smegma, and then you'd need a real good plan how to address that.Other than that - time for you to find someone else to fulfill your dreams. (141)

I rinse my peepee thoroughly with warm water and it looks fairly clean to me. (-56)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

Why did you go after a minor? That's the real red flag (50)

She went after me and I didn't say no (-50)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Of course not. It's clear that her preference is "I don't want to get an infection." I can't believe how many people demonize her. One of my friends' ex had the same issue as him, and she said it stunk really bad, and she was getting infections because of it (this never happened with other bfs she had). Ultimately, she left because of this (149)

Yeah there's a lot of stuff missing here. I had a boyfriend once who's toenail wouldn't grow. He didn't have a rampant fungus problem but that one toenail did. My first suggestion was to go to the doctor, they have easy solutions for it. He kept googling household hacks and trying to fix it himself. It wasn't even a „his body is bothering me" issue. It was that I was just so freaking tired of it as a constant topic of conversation, ie him telling me he'd made progress, he thinks apple cider vinegar would work, he is going to shave it down, no it's gotten worse now etc etc etc etc. it was so freaking stupid. My response to all of it was „go to the doctor". He finally did and it went away right away. It wasn't a topic again. But I did break up with him anyways just because of the frustration. I can imagine if this is something that bothers both of them, and the „self help measures" are constantly a topic and taking over their lives more than it should, and the self help mea... (48)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

The amount of people jumping at the chance to tell you to dump her...sheesh.The whole thing reeks of "I love you and i don't want to leave you, but your peepee stinks so bad I'm going to have to do it if you don't get it fixed."And remember,  just because she doesn't love the smell of your fromunda cheese smelling peepee, doesn't mean there aren't millions of other women out there that will also not love it. Just snip it and get it over with. If she's not worth more than a piece of peepee skin to you,  maybe the next one will be.  (51)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

She apparently keeps getting UTI's I heard from other comments OP is a knob head (125)

Dude straaaiiight up OP has a nasty peepee if she's getting nonstop UTIs.My wife's ex gave her UTIs all the time and she really thought something was wrong with her til she stopped fricking him and stopped getting UTIs.Dude was lazy, didn't clean shit, barely cleaned himself if ever, truly pathetic.And the rest of ya, watch your mouth if you come asking why she stayed, abusive people abuse people into thinking they'll never find a way out of their situation without the abuser's help.Like my first thought is OP is a nasty little dude who's mad his gf wants him to shower or do anything that makes her life easier. (78)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/Unhappy-Pineapple459

Score: 🐮🐮🐮🐮🐮(+4🐮)

Number of comments: 20

Average angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

Maximum angriness: 😡😡😡😡🔘

Minimum angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

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!builtfor BAC

!Meowr !r-slurs !neurodivergents !autism

Right off the bat, I'm American, and this is just my best guess, but I've been talking to and hearing a lot of Americans say stuff like "oh if it came to it it would be over in a day" or some stuff like that. WRONG

We. Would. Not. Be. Able. To. Stop. The. Bombings.

I don't think most Americans consider how much easier fighting a war is when you can identify your enemy by skin color and language, you guys speak English (mostly) you have basically the same demographic makeup as the US, basically what I'm saying is that you are the platonic ideal for a partisan guerilla campaign.

You can't buy KN03 in Canada because the government is worried people would make black powder with it. Americans have nothing to fear from !leafs bombing them.

I can pretty much guarantee that the first thing the Canadian military high command does is erase all records of who is in the Canadian military, hide all of their leopards, their jets, their stuff that is on par with US military tech in bunkers in the Northern Territories and destroy the fricking maps, you won't be using them for a while, but they're nice to have around if needed.

No. We haven't even destroyed the long gun registry 20 years after a court ordered it to happen.

The Canadian military will then systematically erase any identifiable signatures it has, servicemen and women will burn their ID cards, their uniforms, bury caches of small arms, explosives, anti tank weapons, anti air rockets.

Lmao no. Most CAF members have little to no real training. They don't have the ammo needed to train. Heck they got rid of post basic training! !burgers that right leafs go to basic and then "learn on the job".

This war would not look like anything the US has ever seen before in its history, this war would look like car bombs in Des Moines Iowa every day, Police Stations being shot up in every state of the Union, political assassinations.

Canadians allowed themselves to be disarmed (at least the lefties did). They don't have guns to shoot with.

/u/Grotesque_Bisque You're a moron jacking off to fantasy

Recall one of the most insane graphs ever: After a decade men paid off ~30% of their loans and women paid off ~3%

Men pay down student debt and women don't. They have different expectations around college's use and different sensitivity to cost-benefit. https://t.co/KlUXc8cTnn pic.twitter.com/pxsnF9Vr27

— Simon Sarris (@simonsarris) January 31, 2025

He went on and on about how there was nothing canada or mexico could do to prevent the tariffs and then he rolled over in less then 48 hours. And as a canadian im not gonna forget about this anytime soon. Ill keep buying canadian.

Lol, he straight up said that the tarrifs were contingent on whether canada/mexico met his demands regarding illegal immigration/human trafficking/fentnyl which they did. Him threatening tarrifs worked and him not having to implement them is a good thing for the economy. How embarrassing tho

edit: dumb with the same illiterate sentiments

https://old.reddit.com/r/GenZ/comments/1ih85fc/did_trump_just_immediately_fold/

Two genders confirmed canon in the lego universe.

HOLY SHIT 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE YOU KNOW

AMERICAN CHESTNUT IS BACK BABY https://t.co/wosBV6y8DQ

— onionweigher 🧅⚖️ (@onionweigher) February 8, 2025

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

Most Indians are Republicans in Houston (180)

How do you know this? Not saying you're wrong, I just never heard that before. (30)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

There are way better reasons to avoid Tilman restaurants than his support of Trump. (1086)

I mean, for most here it's simply that they can't afford most of his menus. (-57)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

/r/sanantonio recently had this discussion and I have some takeaways I want to share with you. Less about restaurants per se but the sentiment applies.Buccees owners are hardcore Paxton / Abbott supporters/donors.Pluckers owners drank the trump coolaid too.Heb does donate to republicans, though it seems it's more just because that's who's in charge - they've donated to more moderate, non-school vouchers ones and this has drawn Abbott's disapproval.Check out the "goods unite us" website to see what corporation funds what candidate and political party. Less local more national honestly but still. I've been looking at it and some egregiously conservative (like funding politicians vehemently against roe) include Home Depot, Valero, and Chick-fil-A. (408)

I will stop at buc-cees to take a shit and leave. (276)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Oh dear. Yeah, I don't know where "our" forum is but it isn't here! I sort of think nowhere, since the election proved that Americans will cut off their nose to spite their face. And AS A WOMAN, I'm pissed at the women who gave their vote to that male feminist, misogynistic, criminal, lying, boil on the butt of humanity the reigns. Frick. I'm so sick of no one else standing up and saying that we are hurtling at light speed towards a dystopian society and people just put the thumb up their butt, or actually, they keep them on their phones and believe allll the fricking bullshit that Trump and his allies claim.Aaaaanyway just wanted to say you sure jumped in with your first post 😂 buckle up! (2)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Tilman Fertitta, Trump's ambassador to Italy, owns:Mastro's Steakhouse and Ocean Club, Morton's The Steakhouse, Del Frisco's Double Eagle Steakhouse, Del Frisco's Grille, The Oceanaire, Vic & Anthony's, Brenner's Steakhouse, Grotto, Atlantic Grill, La Griglia and Willie G's, Chart House, Landry's Seafood House, Rainforest Cafe, Saltgrass Steak House, Bubba Gump Shrimp Company, Mitchell's Fish Market, Dos Caminos, Bill's Bar & Burger, Joe's Crab Shack and McCormick & Schmick's, Portland City Grill, Kincaid's, Simon and Seaford's, and Henry's Tavern. This is a partial list. (2203)

Landrys is the worst company i ever worked for. And they are also horrible at business. When they took over BRGuest in NYC their goons (I refuse to call them anything but that) came in and changed everything. For the worse. They told me to fire 40% of my staff and if I couldn't find a reason to I was not doing my job. They ignored the Donn doff law and had signs at terminals saying "do not clock in until fully in uniform" which is…illegal. They got rid of the time card adjustment signatures. Which is required in nyc. Any time you adjust a staffs time card they have to sign off on it. Very simple. Yes it was a huge restaurant and yes it took a lot of time to do 3 times a shift (people forgot to clock in, people for got to clock out for they break, etc…) but it's the law. They did away with it. It's a HUGE lawsuit. Every single employee can sue for incorrect hour reporting. It's usually a class action and lawyers make most of the money, but it's an easy slam dunk case for any law firm... (2)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Don't have a clue about who actually owns the company but I can tell you for sure that the family who owns the Jets Pizza stores north of Humble are hardcore crazy Trumpers. Worked there for a bit before quitting because the dad/owner went on a 45 min rant about how black people are the most terrible workers/they need to be "vetted way more" before going on another rant about how we're finally gonna get rid of all the ADHD & autism going around these days "once RFK gets in there" and gets rid of all the sugar in our food. They had a trans neurodivergent teenager working for them as a delivery driver too & I felt so bad for him because the owners talked soooooo much disgusting ignorant shit whenever he wasn't there. Not to mention the Trump/Vance "I'm voting for the outlaw & the hillbilly" sweatshirt the owner's son would come in wearing every day. I could go on but yeah they're definitely ones to avoid (6)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/standardobjection

Score: 🐮🐮🐮🔘🔘

Number of comments: 9

Average angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

Maximum angriness: 😡😡😡🔘🔘

Minimum angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

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Kingdom Come: Deliverance is a lovely eurojank game where you play as a special-ed student who learns to swing a sword in Bohemia. It garnered attention upon its release for the lead dev's refusal to add Blak people to the game, for "historical accuracy", and he continued to play the chud after the game sold well. (Montage of various chuddy tweets from back in the day)

However, the upcoming sequel has been struck with disaster - a leak showing the darkest Muslim man in existence lecture the player about how good Islam is hit the web and created a frenzy. Additionally, there was a rumour about an unskippable gay love scene between the canonically straight main character and some random dude.

Naturally, this caused some panic among chuds. Was their hecking based Czech studio infiltrated? Where did it all go wrong?

They took to Twitter to pester the studio head, Daniel Vavra, to ask for clarification. Instead of an answer, they received non-responses in various forms

Turns out that we are once again in the middle of a rather bizarre "culture war", this time from the opposite side than usual :) So here's a statement, but I'd hate to spoil the plot of the game for the sake of it. pic.twitter.com/MDgbY7WD7A

— Daniel Vávra ⚔ (@DanielVavra) January 17, 2025

Finally, the silence was broken

5/10 KCD is an RPG, you are responsible for your decisions. If you want Henry to try a same-s*x adventure, feel free. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. All affairs are (and were in KCD1) purely optional. The characters are perfectly aware, that it was a forbidden sin.

— Daniel Vávra ⚔ (@DanielVavra) January 19, 2025

Yes, there is a proud Kang, and yes you will frick the bussy, and you'll like it darnit!

Responses have been measured and reasonable

Claims abound of plummeting preorder numbers and de-wishlisting

Mark Kern has also become an enemy of the state, claiming the game definitely isn't woke.

I can guarantee that none of these r-slurs were going to play it anyway, particularly because I've not seen anyone mention this particular line from Kern's review:

Combat is similar but easier than the first game

The real goyslop is in making the mechanics dumber so that hecking valid enbys don't cry when forced to learn a moderately interesting combat system.

Kill all kiwiggers

Yes, you read that correctly. He presented an award on an online award show for the worst game of the year. Clutch your pearls preemptively: the nominees were 4 universally agreed on bad games.

Did James make the decision about what games to have on here. It does not seem like it. BUT HE PRESENTED IT!

Oh yeah, this is somehow g*mergate, because we can't ever let the thing that happened over a decade ago die

This hurts bigly for all the 10 remaining fans of the 40+ year old who calls old games shitty poop farts

Should we even be complaining about this? Think of the dozens of extra views it might get from ResetERA referrals!

Thinking that it's dumb to complain about a shit game gettting a bad game award from a literally who tier youtuber? THAT'S A PADDLIN'

Nobody would have known what a NES or Atari 2600 was without AVGN

I know none of them played it because nobody played it, this poster included.

🚨 #BREAKING - RAW 60 MINUTES INTERVIEW with Kamala Harris during the election released... TRANSCRIPT in reply... pic.twitter.com/dYneIEPqQu

— Eric Daugherty (@EricLDaugh) February 5, 2025

sizing check

with text

You'll also notice that I've forcibly reenabled the cursor Marsey for everyone. This is so you can appreciate the adorable cursor kong by @Elias_Acorn. You are welcome.