Hello my fellow Mobians it is I Elias Acorn, King of the house of Acorn with fresh intel from Robtoniks Robotropolis. The dastardly Robotonik forces his overlander subjects to eat nothing but liquid soy feed in order to save money for his cruel schemes, but it seems his Soylent factories are starting to run out. One over lander notices:

Shortages, discounts at supermarkets, no refunds, service delays. Is this it?

To which this astute Overlander noticed:

When I posted my concerns about their financial health 3 months ago, soylent_team replied saying:

We promise we aren't going anywhere. There have been some bumps this year, but hang on with us, we promise we are here to stay! [1]

In August, their CEO said:

We have integrated and created efficiencies through our shared service platform for our brands over the course of 2023 and 2024 allowing the Company to now experience tremendous retail expansion, topline growth and higher margins. [...] If you look at any of our portfolio companies we are winning because we have extremely unique products and brands with defensive moats and scaling distribution [2]

However, their accountants sounded less upbeat when they wrote in a recent filing:

substantial doubt exists related to the Company's ability to meet its obligations as they become due within one year [3]

[1] https://old.reddit.com/r/soylent/comments/1fq0sju/comment/lp3iwpu/?context=8

[2] https://investors.starcobrands.com/press-releases/detail/93/starco-brands-announces-insider-stock-buy-back-plan-and

[3] See "NOTE 2 – GOING CONCERN" here.

This overlander wonders how Doctor Robtonik's mean bean soylent machine could have ever run into problems:

It must take a special kind of incompetence to screw up such a fabulous company. I mean, the Soylent founders built a great tasting, nutritional product, gained a loyal and enthusiastic following, expanded the product line, went international, and were a market leader. They had every advantage! Now look at them - a struggling unit of a penny stock company that can't meet its commitments. What a bloody shame.

Im sure eating nothing but soy feed and motor oil is nutritious

This sad overlander is so dependent on the soy feed he is now unable to eat normal food:

I would die if soylent went out of business

While Robtonik serves other forms of gruel to his subjects it seems they are somehow even worse then the dreeded soylent

They really need new ownership under someone that cares about the brand and the company's original vision. The Starco buyout was the beginning of the end. At the end of the day, Soylent's original powder is the only product I have been able to drink daily for years and not have any issues. If anything it is consistent. I tried Huel as an alternative due to the shortage and I HATED it. It tastes like plain oatmeal with 20 packets of Splenda and is so thick you need a spoon to consume it (not to mention it gives me a painful stomach ache). So is Soylent going under? I honestly don't know, but I do hope that someone competent can right the clearly sinking ship that is the Soylent brand.

This is why in the Kingdom of Knothole we only eat the finest real foods like Uncle Chuck's chili dogs rather then this technological abomination. Source Speed Freedom Fighters may you win in your quest to free these poor souls

🇺🇸 The female Black Hawk helicopter pilot from the crash in Washington, Captain Rebecca Lobach, was not named until her social media was cleaned … so it seems.

She was Biden’s aide. pic.twitter.com/gP16Tmr2py

— Lord Bebo (@MyLordBebo) February 2, 2025

Favorite so far:

This is not a cost saving measure. This is a purge of federal employees who do not support their agenda. The first round is incentivized volunteer resignations. The second round will be forced resignations. The third round will be outright firings. This is a comprehensive takeover of the federal government by the MAGA organization. This is round one of a pervasive attack on the American Republic.

They are following the NAZI playbook from the 1930's.

The OLIGARCHY

They are looking for cuts to pass trumps tax plan. Which will greatly enrich the rich and cripple the poor, weaken or eliminate the middle class.

What is it you think he is doing? Where do you think the money stolen from us will go? It's tax money, all our money going to the rich, 2'trillion at least. The deficit…trump blew it up round 1. Round 2 he will kill the deficit. And YOU and EVERYONE you know will pay for it for the rest of our lives.

Some reasonable people too, maybe redditoids aren't beyond saving:

I appreciate you being open to the conversation. The challenge lies in your last sentence where you state "Convince me that cutting wasteful spending is a bad idea." You're already convinced that all of this spending is wasteful. We are not.

We see value in the DOE as a vehicle to assist in equalizing access to education for all. Without this funding, kids in poor areas will not have access to the resources they need to be successful in school. In the most impoverished places, property tax is not adequate - many are renting, in section 8, or perhaps homeless and the property tax collected does not scale with the student population in those environments. Do you believe that all kids, regardless of the socioeconomic class they are born into, deserve a shot at education? We do. But the states alone are not able to provide that, particularly red states who are the biggest beneficiaries of this funding.

For a chatgpt post that took me 5 minutes to write, I've so far generated at least 1000 words, I'm hoping before the post dies I can generate enough to write a short book

The Tuxedo, 2x broken ribs, an injured paw, and some lacerations. After a night in the hospital, he is expected to make a full recovery. The same can't be said for the pibbles.

The velvet hippo wouldn't surrender its new play toy and turned on me when I tried to intervene. I gave the pibbles all 5 tines of a farmer's pitchfork. I lifted the bloody beast up and carried it to the barn. I wedged the handle in the dirt and pinned the velvet hippo to the barn.

It's like a Mortal Kombat fatality

With the pibbles elevated off the ground and skewered to the barn, it was no longer a threat. I then attended the injured cat.

The deceased pibbles had a collar. I notified the police. Animal control came out to make a report and take some pictures. The look on the officers face when she saw the pibbles pinned the barn was priceless. "Mother Fu*k, that's not something you see every day!"

The owner of the pitbull was charged for owning a dangerous dog at large and threatening public safety. Armed with the police report, I am now hiring an attorney and filing a lawsuit against the pibbles owner.

Also, I contacted the owner of the property whom I've known for decades. The tenants were not permitted to have a dog on the rental property. To avoid a second lawsuit, targeting the property owner, the landlord is evicting the tenants for violating the lease agreement.

I have no idea what the frick is going on at BPB lately. It used to have a stronger relationship to trolling (remember #PitBullDropoff?) before evolving into paranoid true crime foidery (would you rather meet a man or a pit bull in the forest?). At this point it just seems to be a place for surreptitiously getting off to animal violence. Lots of "pit bull gets kicked in the head by a horse" type videos. More recently people have started posting their badass 100% true stories about how they or their pets killed pibbles.

https://old.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/comments/1im0mac/pitbull_vs_tuxedo/mbzg8f7/?context=8

https://old.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/comments/1im0mac/pitbull_vs_tuxedo/mbzicqu/?context=8

OP continues to push it:

https://old.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/comments/1im0mac/pitbull_vs_tuxedo/mc0ztnb/?context=8

https://old.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/comments/1im0mac/pitbull_vs_tuxedo/mc148qy/?context=8

Kill pibbles. Behead pibbles. Roundhouse kick a pibble into the concrete. Skewer pibbles with a pitchfork.

Is there any reason to use the word uchu? It seems like almost everything (colour schemes, AI models, startups, cowtools, apps, ...) is named using a single randomly-selected Japanese word these days. But... why?

you know why

I'm confused by the usage of the word color scheme.

To me a color scheme is something like monokai. A small number of colors that go well together. The application (eg syntax highlighting in a code editor) is obvious and easy. This is just...lots of monochrome colors? How would I use this? Not trying to be dismissive, I'm just confused.

Yeah imo they should've used "color palette".

The top post on /r/gym this month is 300lb deadlift (F20, 136lbs)

She has a gigantic arse but her form is atrocious. She's only lifting 2.2x bodyweight which isn't a "top post of the month"-tier lift for a 20 year old woman.

The /r/gym jannie completely spergs out and the comment thread is a sea of [removed]. Anyone who tells OP to work on her form to avoid injury is banned.

"Stop trying to make it all about you." he says in a thread that he's made entirely about him.

The only comments remaining are compliments like "you go girl!" and "I think you could lift another 20lbs!"

I hope she doesn't end up in a wheelchair.

Jumbotrons are down, I repeat jumbotrons are down

Trump knows True Democrat Patriots are in control and will arrest him

Is Dark Brandon rounding up MAGA chuds to have them mass executed in the Capitol Arena? Possibly.

Is Trump's inaugeration committee going to turn Judas on him and install a favored Republican President in a very rare double steal?

Further Patriots plan on executing Operation Lalala I can't hear you

Vance annoyed by papparazzi, this is a sign

If any word has described blue-anons since the election, I don't think happy would be it

https://www.skynews.com.au/australia-news/vial-of-morphine-allegedly-found-in-bankstown-hospital-locker-of-sydney-nurse-ahmed-rashid-nadir-as-nsw-police-probe-antisemitic-video/news-story/15aea505cede20e4b0787856c8321116

Apparently the male also had drugs in his personal locker.

!jidf how long are we giving this rowdy buck

My present is not asking if you are dead in my flair. You actually are a fair, even handed maiden

Obviously lib journos having a meltdown and who better else to encapsulate it than Frau

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/jan/30/angela-merkel-rebukes-successor-for-alliance-with-far-right-afd-on-anti-immigration-motion

https://www.politico.eu/article/germany-friedrich-merz-cdu-political-tightrope-far-right-votes-afd-migration-crackdown/

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2025/1/30/germanys-merkel-blasts-cdu-leader-for-cooperating-with-far-right-afd

!dramatards it's over for Communists. For the second time within 40 years, the German Wall has cometh down. Deutschland elections are barely 3 weeks from now.

Total Morbius AfD (stands for ADolF) sweep.

@BWC

I saw this:

• https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/snow_bunny

2. (Canada, US, slang) A young, attractive, female skier; a sexually active young woman attracted to the promiscuous après-ski way of life.

naturally, I looked it up immediately:

• https://www.google.com/search?q=the+promiscuous+apr%C3%A8s-ski+way+of+life

VICE confirmed it's foids slooting, whether rich or poor I just wanted to see the term used somewhere:

"while, I went on a one-woman rampage, spending most of my days either up to my armpits in soap-suds and other people's pubic hair, having s*x with stoned, broke teenagers on Tabasco-soaked mattresses"

https://www.vice.com/en/article/belle-de-neige-ski-underbelly/#:~:text=while%2C%20I%20went%20on%20a%20one%2Dwoman%20rampage%2C%20spending%20most%20of%20my%20days%20either%20up%20to%20my%20armpits%20in%20soap%2Dsuds%20and%20other%20people%E2%80%99s%20pubic%20hair%2C%20having%20sex%20with%20stoned%2C%20broke%20teenagers%20on%20Tabasco%2Dsoaked%20mattresses

For some reason I had to click at least one Reddit link before I backed out. This proved to be a good idea, shout-out to epic definition definer /u/Piper6728:

It originally meant after skiing social activity, but it eventually became lewd and sexual (in superman 3 evil superman used Après ski to screw a woman's brains out)

(in superman 3 evil superman used Après ski to screw a woman's brains out)

• https://old.reddit.com/r/skiing/comments/1b1tve9/serious_question_dont_attack_me_please_but_what/

Gemini explained the Superman III scene with this link

• https://imdb.com/title/tt0086393/quotes/?item=qt1763099&ref_=ext_shr_lnk

[Superman slowly walks into Lorelei's room]

Lorelei: How about a little après-ski?

[as Superman walks closer to Lorelei,]

Lorelei: Champagne?

[Superman proceeds to make out with Lorelei]

LMAOOOOOO YE cooking random people on IG 😭😭

— Ye Streams (@kanyestreams1) February 4, 2025

Anyone who has IG can you go see what else hes up to.

!thotpatrollers

!tmz

Ghar Ke Kalesh b/w a Married Couple over Food
pic.twitter.com/GnOTk9icm2

— Ghar Ke Kalesh (@gharkekalesh) February 16, 2025

@tiptopkitkat is it bad that I low key want a (much cuter) foid to do this to me?

Lmao they're medinipuriya I'm sending this to my father looks like kolkata won a total cultural victory there too when my mother first went there after marriage people talked about her not being veiled and now they have empowered foids hitting their moids and forcing them to eat.

Maybe Islam is the answer

I'd only been talking to this girl for like a day, she asked me about my weekend. For context, my week before had been super busy so I wasn't looking to do a ton of social activities last weekend just a nice, chill couple of days. I clearly cracked a joke about the fact that it was kind of a boring weekend, but I never expected her to reply like this

___

Reddit is split on whether she is being ironically edgy or whether she really wants him to end his own life.

Suicidal Redditor tells OP to chill out

It's clearly misogyny at play

I'm not even sure why OP cares,

AI ENHANCE AI ENHANCE

It never even began

lol

!metashit

why’s no one in the pool https://t.co/kPgSsWSVL7

— 🗣️‼️ TRVTHnvkeDEPLOYER (TND) (@skibidimarsey) January 10, 2025

Klan meeting in the replies. Elons twitter is a joke

Oh is this a racist thread I want to play …hey hey who taught yall how to bathe?

>popular tweet >look in replies >racist transphobe Forgot I was on Twitter for a second

and more mini slapfights in the replies!

Trump banned indoctrination in education, resulting in shit jokes and some sneeding from r-slurs like these:

This is precisely why I, a closeted transgender grad student a year away from my teaching certificate, have been contemplating unaliving myself. There is no way I can legally and safely be happy in this lifetime anymore.

It's not worth it with legal avenues removed, never able to change documents, being discriminated against and witch-hunted.

Should do it, and is an unironic threat to children.

Scary stuff for a Health teacher because I actually do teach about sexuality and gender. It's not my whole job, but it is part of it, and the curriculum we use is very lgbtq+-friendly.

Wonder where parents are getting the idea that gays are out to indoctrinate their kids into being gay... :marseywrongthink:

The sub has a few posts on this shit, it got some insane "im such a dramatic hero" posters and a few breaking that circlejerk to actually comment on why the EO happened.

https://old.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/1id7zua/update_to_my_previous_post_the_executive_order_on/?sort=controversial

I hope my trans students know I'll go down swinging for them :/ i hate that shits gone backwards since i was in highschool, we got to celebrate gay marriage being legalized and obama and biden running through the whitehouse with pride flags. They get to experience being fear mongered scapegoats for people to direct their misguided hate towards, all with the guise of "protecting kids". Just wait for those suicide rates to go up higher.

Trans kids are not the result of him pushing them in that direction at all, totally normal development...

We need a national walkout. ASAP. Between the immigration bullshit and the trans students, they want to turn us all into deliverers of a different sort of indoctrination that doesn't value, honor, or respect the individual rights of our students, and will absolutely turn us into criminals for being safe spaces.

Literally the next MLK in the making bros

BREAKING:

2 judges on the Supreme Court of Iran, have just been shot and killed.

Ali Razini & Mohammad Moghiseh were killed in front of the Supreme Court building in Tehran by a guard who had enough of the Islamist dictatorship

Both judges were hardliners, known as “hangmen” pic.twitter.com/b5LAHxmF2N

— Visegrád 24 (@visegrad24) January 18, 2025

The assassin increased the moid suicide rate too

!moidmoment was he one of the few good scroteoids?

NEW NGO REPORT: After years on the run, the fugitive leader of the Trantifa terror cell linked to six violent deaths has finally been apprehended. Jack "Ziz" LaSota, Michelle Zajko & Daniel Blank were arrested in a forested area in western rural Maryland. https://t.co/TP4htslzR9

— Andy Ngo (@MrAndyNgo) February 18, 2025

Yes, you read that correctly. He presented an award on an online award show for the worst game of the year. Clutch your pearls preemptively: the nominees were 4 universally agreed on bad games.

Did James make the decision about what games to have on here. It does not seem like it. BUT HE PRESENTED IT!

Oh yeah, this is somehow g*mergate, because we can't ever let the thing that happened over a decade ago die

This hurts bigly for all the 10 remaining fans of the 40+ year old who calls old games shitty poop farts

Should we even be complaining about this? Think of the dozens of extra views it might get from ResetERA referrals!

Thinking that it's dumb to complain about a shit game gettting a bad game award from a literally who tier youtuber? THAT'S A PADDLIN'

Nobody would have known what a NES or Atari 2600 was without AVGN

I know none of them played it because nobody played it, this poster included.

In Europe and Switzerland, we don't need social or economic refugees from the USA any other country in the world. Stay in your own country.

He's not going to hurt you, you know? The US is a strong democracy.

Maybe you are trolling, but no, you simply can't just move to Switzerland because you feel like it. You need specialist skills and a company willing to sponsor you, just like it would be if I was to move to the US.

If you husband has mid 8 figures CHF to invest in Switzerland, that might be difficult.

How exactly do you propose moving here? Have you seen the visa requirements?

Also, how exceedingly arrogant to just claim you can live here when your country makes it so difficult for everyone else.

Is this a troll post?

OP makes a post called 'Black Mom Leaving the US' looking for experiences from other black women on emigrating from the US. They mention homeschooling, which leads several people to point out that homeschooling is illegal in some of the countries OP is interested in. OP isn't having it and calls some of the comments 'creepy':

Yeah it's very strange, and creepy, how obsessed people on this thread are with the future education prospects of my one-year-old.

OP believes that being a digital nomad does not make them a resident of that country... somehow?

https://old.reddit.com/r/AmerExit/comments/1i6a4ge/comment/m8by8nh/?context=8

More drama when someone else points out that some of the countries listed are significantly more racist than OP realises:

https://old.reddit.com/r/AmerExit/comments/1i6a4ge/comment/m8bfx6z/?context=8

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1i6qw28/drama_in_ramerexit_when_commenters_point_out_to/