already a 100% chance he won't remember going to bed

!biofoids

I'm trying to be chill, but I could use some support. Love you all and hope you're doing better than I am.

Since the 2nd, I've been a 9 on the pain scale for a giant ovarian cyst, and other abdominal oddities. This is an issue I've pressed with all kinds of people, but the December ultrasound never came. So I'm here, choosing not to eat so that I may drink ice cold electrolyte water. It's the only relief available.

I drove myself to a blood test at 8 am (my time of day) and almost passed out leaving the gas station today.

So I'm probably getting my organs scooped. Yayyyyyy

Like I can't just normally walk with my dogs without meeting some freaks on my way that will try to insist a conversation to try to scam me. Like today I meet a special kind of r-slur on my way, a guy in mid 20 or late 20 screamed he know me I ignored him but he still put his butt ugly face into my pov. He told me he knows me, I am a Brazilian guy. ( ) that he respect me and that he will fight for me and that he has a gun and that I always walk around with my dogs. Tried to show the route I walk with my dogs (got on point as me being Brazilian). Then told I need to do him a favour, that I need to give him 20 euro and he will give me 10. I smiled and told no. He got a bit frustrated and tried new approach so I put my headphones back. I couldn't hear him well but at one point he stopped moving his mouth and looked at me with expectation of saying something and I told him no. He sadly walked away.

Homosexuals like him make me wish we had Kim Jung Un as leader who would put fricks like him into jail. Commies actually have jail time for neets

Sad part every west European capital is like this now, same happens when I visit my family in Paris.

With gta5 I was referring to freak missions that randomly happens when.

Edit: Forgot to mention that homosexual told he is Albanese

I met my girlfriend's parents over the weekend who I am stealth with. They made several comments that made me dysphoric and worried they will clock me eventually. Some of the comments where regarding my height and small frame (I'm 5'5 and a 135lb but I wore 2 inch shoe inserts), small wrists, “feminine hand movements”, they “did not like my voice.”

They said my girlfriend looked big next to me (she is 5'3 and roughly the same weight as me). They said I was short for a white man. They asked me what size clothes I wore and other questions related to my size.

They are Latinx immigrants and I am white so I know there is a cultural difference to how masculinity is shown. Their culture tends to be more strict in gender roles especially with men. I am sure this was part of the reason why they thought I was “feminine.” They even asked my girlfriend if I was bisexual.

The comments made me feel uncomfortable and now I'm feeling very dysphoric about my height and size. I know I need to go to the gym and bulk up. I feel small, dainty, and feminine. I'm over thinking my size, my hand gestures, my voice, and my overall passability.

I would appreciate words of encouragement. Additionally, please give any advice on how you: 1. Worked towards passing, 2. Are stealth towards in-laws, 3. What you know about masculinity in hard-working American culture, if anything.

What now?

simp harder - 6 votes

My old psychiatrist was an old man who could barely hear. He had me on multiple benzos. Now he's in hospital and probably going to die. I've been assigned a new psychiatrist. She's young and she was like oh heck no and whittled me down to one benzo. And I only get 30 a month! Currently I get 60 to take in the morning and night. It's so joever I can't contemplate it. No more blacking out and knowing you still have an ample supply left. My benzo days are coming to an end.

I'm too crestfallen to even attach a Holly pic.

Apparently @Arran has been chudding out more? Does anyone have the information of his parole officer? I logged in and forgot to check my notifications.

My insurance approved me for Spravato (esketamine)!!! I start tomorrow!!!

It's inhaled (a spray) and then you hang out in a room for 2 hours. They said not to listen to music with words & that it peaks at about 40 mins. You aren't allowed to drive until the next day.

I've failed maybe 8 SSRI/SNRIs in my life and I'm currently on an off label (ie really fricking high) dosage of Prozac but still having acute suicidal ideation (SI).

Ketamine is an NMDA antagonist and works differently than SSRIs. A lot of people get relief from SI immediately after the first session but sometimes it takes a couple.

I'm so happy I finally might get some relief from my despair and suffering. I am really reaching “last resort” in terms of what's available to me. I have electro shock therapy left and that's about it. Hoping this works.

Has anyone else here done it?

Edit: I'm out of benefactor awards just fyi

I have enough liquid assets to live someplace like Vietnam or Thailand for 15+ years. My house is almost paid off and if I sold it that would add quite a few more years, and that's without even touching any of my retirement accounts.

Tell me why this is a stupid idea.

This is a completely normal line of thinking right?

I was brought up to think for myself. School and culture at large were always trying to sell me on individualism and intellectualism nonconformity and stupid shit like that. But it's all so tiresome.

It took years to deprogram myself but finally I'm free from the shackles of thought. My tastes, views and opinions are all algorithmically determined and I've never been in a healthier headspace. My mind is empty, vacuous, whatever thoughts might accidentally form dissipate like sound in an anechoic chamber. I never want to think about anything ever again

Lost threads in this thing

NGL for my standards this is pretty cool . Its pretty neat to me the human hand can make cool lil images tbh like wowie I made this!!! Now I just need to start writing again

!vidya !cuteandvalid !femboys

idk what it was

That's right !fitness lads, spring time and soon summer , meaning it'll be time for sunshine and babes

(maybe)

It's cold as heck here in the west but summer should be warm.

What are your plans to prep for summer, any advice you need from other fitstrags (and you need to include too many coom images ), any recipes you found or routines and other shit.

Now I want molasses cookies

The mountain I live on is is in 98%th or so path of totality and my ranger station is on alert for tourists all weekend. We are expecting about 20k flatlanders coming here to nh and double over to

Maine so it's probably going to be an absolute shitshow.

I've had four service calls already since this morning so assistance. 2x CT, 2x MA goddarnit tourists