EAT YO DINNER, KIDS!

Some foolish dramneurodivergent and I have been tasked with the turkey for the family Thanksgiving.

I had always just baked a cornish hen for myself and have no experience with larger fowl; he only has experience with smoking beef or pork. It has been agreed on that this turkey will be smoked.

Are there any successful smokedturkeychads here to lend guidance? We're looking to smoke a 10-12lb to serve 6 peepos. I am currently being silly and leaning towards seriouseat's spatchpeepee method.

I will also be baking delicious pumpkin cookies with cream cheese as a surprise (I won a company baking contest with these)

additionally

!grillers !meatshit

This is my easy, general purpose, stovetop chili recipe that I have refined to my tastes over the years. It's also very customizable. It's not trying to be "authentic" anything, it uses a lot of dried spices, but it is still p tasty imo.

INGREDIENTS

1 yellow onion

1 bell pepper, 1 jalapeno (This is what I use but feel free to use whatever peppers you want in whatever combination. Serrano, habanero, etc, use what you like)

3-4 cloves garlic

2ish tbsp tomato paste (VERY IMPORTANT DO NOT SKIP)

1 lb ground beef (I use 90/10 but anything 80/20 to 93/7 should work fine)

2 cans beans (I use kidney and black but again use whatever you like, pinto is another good option)

NOTE: You can play around with the beef/bean ratio. I've done 2 lbs beef 1 can beans but I prefer what I have listed here. 2 lbs beef 2 cans beans might be a good option, I've never done that.

2 28oz cans diced fire roasted tomatoes (don't skimp out here, buy a decent brand and really try to get fire roasted if you can)

1 can dark beer (optional, a good stout or porter works well. If not adding beer you may need a small amount of beef or chicken stock to thin it out)

spices (I use: salt, chili powder, cumin, smoked paprika, cayenne, oregano, garlic powder, black pepper. Add or remove as you like. I use an absolute shitload of chili powder, like an obscene amount. I keep adding and tasting until I'm happy and by the end I use so much)

toppings - I use: cheddar cheese, fritos/corn chips, sour cream, pickled onions if I have them, sometimes chopped or pickled jalapenos. I've also had it over cornbread and that's really good)

INSTRUCTIONS

Dice the onion and peppers, mince the garlic.

Brown the beef in a large pot or dutch oven, when it's almost cooked through add the onion and peppers. Cook the onions and peppers for 4-5ish minutes until soft and translucent. (I add some of the spices at this point, I dunno if frying them off a bit changes the flavor at all but it makes me feel better)

Add the garlic, fry for about a minute until fragrant.

Add the tomato paste, fry for a minute or two until everything turns a rust red.

Add the beans (bean juice included), diced tomatoes, and beer (sub the beer with stock if needed to thin out the chili).

I start adding more spices here. I don't have any measurements because I just put in what looks good

Bring it up to a boil then reduce to a simmer. Simmer gently for 30-60 minutes.

Taste and adjust the salt and other seasoning levels. I salt as I go when I'm frying the beef and vegetables so I usually don't have to add much here. This is also where I finish adding all the chili powder.

This is also where you want to adjust the consistency to your tastes. If it's too thin let more liquid boil off. If it's too thick add beef or chicken stock.

Some people add a small amount of brown sugar or dark chocolate at this point. I don't personally but it's an option.

Serve with whatever you want.

!goyslopenjoyers

don't love kenji but he does post good shit, also he's not chubby anymore

theres food too

I'm having a good day, I hope all of you are enjoying your Sunday's!

providing my useless unfathomably based opinion on these of course.

[💥🍽️🍽️🍽️🍽️] in plates i'm smashing if i see this shit at the table

Most People Left Traumatized After Sunday Dinner

Family Dinners Ruined: [💥💥💥💥🍽️]

My sister has been dipping hot, cooked beef taquitos into a glass of skim milk for well over 20 years. (598)

I hope she is getting all the help she needs. (108)

fricking disgusting. skim milk is vile. even as a milk hater i abhorred skim milk before i swore off milk entirely. i barely even know what a taquito is but this shit is still offensive.

Family Dinners Ruined: [💥💥💥💥💥]

simply not adding salt to anything ever (985)

My dad's gf had us all over for NYE dinner one year. She decided to make fish & chips. She's completely salt intolerant and my dad is 100lbs overweight and on a quadruple bypass diet, so no salt there.

She makes this meal. I'm not kidding, it was absolutely inedible. I'm watching my buddy try and eat it, and he's putting tiny little pieces in his mouth and chewing for 10 minutes.

The breading on the fish, it was this mealy mess of flavorless bready doughy something. She didn't have the oil hot enough, clearly, and there was no salt, so it was oily, poorly cooked, and flavorless. There was no fix. Later on we went on a short road trip to a local wings emporium and got a couple baskets to wash away any potential nightmares.

The wine was great, that's all I'm going to add. (374)

i fricking love salt and at this point i'm used to never having enough on my food. it's a fact i've had to accept. fricking up the frying though? come on. if you're going to cook actual shit anyway you might as well salt the food so there can be some glimmer of joy in your useless life. it's not like it was healthy shit either. you're killing your body with the oil anyway, just take the L

Family Dinners Ruined: [💥💥🍽️🍽️🍽️]

My girfriend has a family chili recipe. I was really excited to eat it, because she was really excited to cook it for me and she doesn't really like to cook that much.

It's spicy V8 with a can of beans poured in and boiled. (195)

eugh.

most of the rest of these just get into kitchen prep and stuff. not nearly as funny smfh

Most Heirloom Cast Iron Pans Smashed Against The Countertop

Pans Dented: [💥💥🥘🥘🥘]

The act of reaching for the salt, pepper or any other condiment and pouring it over their food BEFORE tasting their food. (372)

i do this to my family but i'm a proud hypocrite cause i know my cooking is just better. when they let me out of this place i'll finally start cooking again. it helps

Pans Dented: [💥💥🥘🥘🥘]

If the majority of someone's recipes call for a crockpot, frozen meat, blocks of cream cheese, and a bag of shredded cheese. (42)

frick cream cheese. nasty shit. shredded cheese is on thin ice. crockpots and frozen meat are great though, they can stay

Pans Dented: [💥💥💥💥🥘]

My father-in-law and brother-in-law put cooked hamburgers on the same sheet they had the raw hamburgers on. I one time said something and they told me "There are so many preservatives that it dont matter." First of all "no" and second of all "use a clean sheet!" (19)

if i see anyone doing this to food i'm not eating it. and if (god forbid) they do it to meat i cooked? motherlover the news will be reporting on our "altercation" for weeks

_{eh i'm getting bored now. surely this post goes in the food hole}

Trying it

Also yes, he made a video bitching about Jessica/NaL in between part 2 and trying it, lol.

TMDWU toobz only a genius could decided a hot pocket- essentially a sandwich- would be a good sandwich ingredient. Also we need a king cobra marsey.

Also would you cool Cobras be interested in a King Cobra JFS specific ping group since the hole died? !ranchers discuss

Done

Before bacon

Baconed

Roast my dinner!

I ate whatever animal this came from a while ago and didn't get sick

Custom made for a good price by a business just outside of San Antonio, haven't seasoned or used it yet. Will have a review and link to the guy's Facebook page if I like it.

It has a grill converter piece so it can grill and smoke, works with wood and/or charcoal, and is solidly built.

Planning to make a brisket and whole chicken for Thanksgiving. This thing can easily fit 2 briskets and a chicken, very impressed.

!grillers !masterchef

I ordered pizza and they sent this shit wtf

I saw it on Reddit and thought it looked good so I made it. I was right it was incredible. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

!goyslopenjoyers

I didn't take a picture of mine but here's the one from reddit

🇰🇷 McDonald’s in South Korea had no human interaction at all? pic.twitter.com/C78kbW88oZ

— Lord Bebo (@MyLordBebo) November 10, 2024