Back again as promised to flex on @pizzashill and @Poj's disgusting animal tier eating habits and bring you, rdrama, my favorite dish in my arsenal: my take on Steak au Poivre. This dish is ridiculously simple and mostly revolves around sauce and a bit of prep. This is truly impossible to frick up and is so good any thot who consumes this will want to consume your sauce as compensation.

Ingredients:

>Couple of shallots (or half an onion if shallots unavailable)

>About 12-16oz of white or baby bella mushrooms

>Garlic

>New york strip steak

>Heavy cream

>A bottle of decent cognac (will heavily recommend Courvoisier VS or VSOP, its subtle notes really come out on this) - im using pierre ferrand 1840 formula.

>Butter

>Salt, black pepper, cumin, coriander, dill weed.

I will not measure fricking anything here, just dont be r-slurred and use your eyeballs.

Prep:

Start by pouring yourself some cognac as you cook and prep because you're not a cute twink b-word.

Next, dice the mushrooms as finely as you can, get real choppy until they are as micro as you can get them. Same thing with the shallots, though in my case its half a white onion because my grocery store didnt have shallots in stock. Take your steaks and season with salt and pepper. Get some garlic pieces minced super fine or just be a chad like me and use a garlic press instead.

Cook:

Chef up those mushrooms over butter and let it really shrink down as it loses water and absorbs all that fat. Season with black pepper and cumin, especially cumin since it pairs well with the shrooms earthy and meaty flavor.

When theyre cooked, set them aside on a plate.

Next up is the steaks, (yes, real steaks @pizzashill, not frozen salisbury steaks) throw them on butter and cook as desired. I prefer rare, you can be a b-word if you want and go medium tho. Once done, set them aside to rest as you continue batching up that sauce.

In the same pan, throw in the onions and let em sweat for a bit. Sprinkle some salt on them and once they're almost done, add garlic and let that cook for like 45s to a min on medium heat. Throw in 2oz of cognac to deglaze the pan and let the onions soak it all up (1 to 3 mins, and you absolutely want to inhale the alcohol fumes to get drunk off them).

Once reduced, heavy cream goes in the pan with butter and the mushrooms. As the sauce reduces, add in black pepper, salt to taste, coriander (for a natural spicy sweetness), cumin and dill weed (dill weed truly shines here.

Throw in a splash of corn starch mixed with water and stir it in to help thicken up the sauce. Stir occasionally and give it time to thicken up/really have the flavors blend in (just keep tasting it once its simmering). Once the sauce is tasting like liquid heaven, cut the steak into strips as thick as desired and plate.

Pour a metric ton of sauce on that shit and enjoy (seriously, dont give a frick about looks, eat the sloppy mess its amazing). You can also plate it over rice or with a side of mashed potatoes to just have the sauce enrich that.

@MrsFrozenClaus, as the resident foid go make this and confirm to the rest of the site that this is in fact so good you'd suck my peepee if I had made it for you irl.

I have a confession to make. I watch cooking youtubers. I'm sorry, I understand if you block me after having admitted that. I made the thing from this video:

I like Sam the Cooking Guy. He's funny. He posts almost every day because he's a sperg (also because I believe he's the #1 cooking youtube guy right now). You have to take his reactions with a grain of salt. He will make a salisbury steak or something and act like he's jizzing in his pants on camera because it's so good. It probably isn't really that good. This recipe is pretty good, though.

I did everything as described in his recipe link, except for two things. I followed the directions for my rice cooker instead of whatever he said, and I omitted his sauce, because it seemed unnecessary. There were already green onions, garlic, and ginger in the rice. I didn't see a good reason to put a sauce made out of mostly just those same 3 ingredients on top. I just squirted this (awesome) crap all over it instead:

This was a good recipe. It was extremely low effort, and it was very good. I barely spent any time in the kitchen at all. Highly recommended.

PS: sorry about the weird blur, I guess Samsung was feeling artsy today.

Disturbing trend on TT/YT/IG: entire social channels with nonsense recipes. They're clearly narrated by AI and likely written by it, but the videos appear real. The channels have no affiliate websites, but millions of subs. It's just chaos.

Like this egg horror: pic.twitter.com/TZuT6tG3RS

— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) May 7, 2024

People who have been to Italy or Seoul or wherever will notice that while the food is often good, it’s generally EXACTLY THE SAME across most options.

— Will Stancil (@whstancil) January 31, 2024

>Noooo where's my gutter oil cheese and beans?

This been arguing with Steve Sailer non stop for weeks (which probably deserves it's own post but it'd be too much effort at this point) and it's completely broken his brain.

He's just posting whatever drivel comes across his mind now as long as it makes minorities look good

!eurochads

Arbycels, I fully approve of this. I'd give it a good 8.5/10 when Wendy's is like 7/10.

If you don't live near an Arby's, frick you.

I've been making so much bourguignon recently that I've started to get sick of it. One good thing about it though is that you can prep it in advance for the week and make mash/gnocchi/pasta as required without it tasting like leftovers. I was looking for something similar to make and came across gumbo. Food from that part of the US always looks good in photos but I've never had the opportunity to try some that was made by someone who knew what they were doing. The closest thing to it that I've tried was one of my attempts at jambalaya, but I put in too much paprika and ruined the flavour of the whole thing. When looking at the recipe for gumbo, I saw that it uses similar spices and also needs roux. I don't store excess oil from my cooking and the thought of mixing flour and frying oil to make the foundation of a dish was . I figured that cuisine from Louisiana is already pretty French so substituting parts of the recipe for more French versions might work out.

Here I started prepping some celery, green peppers, and onion/garlic. I wasn't spoiled for choice in terms of smoked sausage so I just got chorizos.

I also added some chopped up beef chuck steaks

First step is to crisp up the meats

Pop them back in their bowels and start frying up the onion/celery/peppers

Once the onion is looking nice and brown, add in some tubs of tomato paste, crushed tomato, a bottle of Pinot noir, and beef stock

Add the meat and throw it into the oven at 350 for a while.

After 30 mins mine looked like this - OK, but feeling a bit empty. I added some more celery and onion, and also added 7 teaspoons of flour to thicken it up. After that, back in the oven until it has had at least 2 hours cooking time.

This was it at the end. My whole house smelt like a pizza shop and it tasted great. I made some rice to go with it seeing as that's how most do gumbo

In the end, it wasn't that bad! Much better than the jambalaya I had previously made which was done by following a recipe. My only mistake here was in adding some supermarket Cajun seasoning. Just a teaspoon of it changed the smell of the whole thing and I'm curious to try it with any paprika. I also need to find a noncancerous place to look at southern US recipes

All hand mixed due to lack of power tools. Whipping frosting with a hand whisk is an absolute b-word

Frosting was the choice of cake recipient, I'm a plain jam kind of gyaldem when I do it for myself

I am apparently not great at smoothing frosting with a small butter knife but god gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers so

Secret ingredient is light brown sugar to make it blend better with the cocoa and peanut butter notes in the frosting

I got a free 2 month trial of Panera's Sip Club they are constantly shilling and I have opinions about it. I was planning to send this as feedback for the survey they send me via email almost every visit, but these frickers are so cheap you don't get anything for filling it out. Might as well get some DC instead.

The main problem with this whole thing is that the drinks at Panera just aren't very good. The quality of all the drinks (most of them!) I've had are middling at best. That immediately sets this thing up to fail, it doesn't matter how many options or how cheap the club is if the drinks aren't worth drinking.

The other main problem is that the selection is weird. There are a bunch of items, but they are almost all the same type of product with very few exceptions.

They may have 25 items, but let's break them down so you can see how little meaningful variety there is:

• Only 4 of those drinks are caffeine free, and 1 isn't available after 2 PM.

• 4 coffee options, but 2 of those aren't available after 2 PM (including the decaf!)

• If you want iced coffee, the dark roast is your only option, no decaf, hazelnut, or light roast.

• The hot tea has many flavors (6), but they only list the ingredients of the Br*tish Breakfast and they all taste pretty similar.

Another issue is the warped sense of value, they market it as "once you get 4 drinks, it pays for itself". However the drinks are an overpriced ripoff without the sip club, soft drinks are $3.19! If you pay that much for a soft drink, you might be r-slurred. This is the only place in town that serves soft drinks for anything over $3, and most places have a much wider selection of sodas. The coffee is $2.89 which isn't bad, if it wasn't gas station quality... None of the drinks they offer as part of the club are worth more than $2. This means you'd need to get 6 drinks a month to make it worth getting.

The frustrating part is they do offer some other nice interesting drinks, but they aren't part of the sip club. I understand why, they cost more to make, but they should have an option to get them for at least discounted. Even better would be making them free, but no refills, or even only allowing someone to claim 1 a week. Any of these solutions would allow someone to get these nice higher quality drinks as part of the sip club, without causing Panera to lose tons of money.

Also corporate has mandated that you get the cups with your order. They used to be right near the counter, however now they have to serve the empty cup with your food. This is brain dead. The time it takes to actually get the drink means your food is getting cold while getting your drink. It also means you can't enjoy your drink while waiting for the food, which takes time. This means the best way is to place 2 separate orders, one for just the drink first, and then another for the food. I don't need to explain why this is stupid. It also doesn't help that the app is slow as shit.

The program has one potential saving grace, the coupons. The idea is that every Saturday (and other days randomly) you get a coupon, not bad right? The problem is most of them suck; from a pathetic $2 off a Pick Two, to "Buy One Get One 50% Off" entrees, few are worth using. This means I usually just end up getting the Value Duets and using the entree coupons on them, as they are the only items that aren't a rip-off.

If Panera wants this to actually go somewhere it needs to do any one of the following:

• Reduce the cost of menu items to make eating here a better value.

• Make the coupons better, they don't need to be Burger King good, just better than what they are now.

• Allow the Sip Club to be used on premium drinks, whether that is only a discount, free with no refills, only so many a month, or some combination of those restrictions.

• Add more self serve drinks, specifically more soda and decaf options. Pepsi Zero, different Mt Dew or Pepsi flavors, fruit juices, iced decaf (and make the decaf coffee all day please!), and non caffeinated still lemonades would all be fine additions.

Note, it doesn't (nor should it) do all of these, that's unreasonable. However if they did even one of these it would be worth keeping the subscription. As it stands after my subscription ends, I don't plan to ever go back to Panera unless they fix the Sip Club or lower prices.

Also this is a small little tangent, but holy shit do a lot of the stuff they serve have too much sugar. All but 1 dessert item has more than 20g of sugar, and many are around ~50g! Also excluding the drinks that have 0g of sugar, most are around 50g a serving, I don't want to know how many people get refills on these... This place is one of the unhealthiest for desserts where I live, most donut places are much healthier! Kinda wild, it's not like the desserts really sell, so I'm not sure why they do this.

I am curious to see if other people view Panera differently these days so I'm going to make a poll. Do you go to Panera?

This recipe is for a weekend lunch or for people who work from home (like me) and can just frick off to the kitchen for an hour in the middle of the work day. This is what I'm eating for lunch right now. Please note: this recipe makes ONE serving.

Ingredients:

• One skinless, boneless chicken thigh (or just rip the skin off and cut out the bone like I just did)
• An egg
• flour (enough to coat the chicken thigh, e.g. not that much)
• panko (same)
• salt (just a little)
• Peanut or vegetable oil
• Half a cup of rice
• Half a white onion
• Another egg
• 1/4 cup dashi (you could make it but this is fast food, so instead I'd suggest 1/4 cup water and 1/2 tsp of instant dashi)
• 1 tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tbsp sake, or if you don't want to keep it around, use ryorishi, which is just salty sake that stays good forever in your cabinet)
• 1 tbsp mirin

How to do it:

1. Start cooking your rice since that takes the longest.

2. Put some oil in a cast iron skillet, dutch oven, or dedicated deep fryer if you have it. You don't have to deep fry this - you can, but it's ok to shallow fry it too if you want to use less oil. I used a 32oz jar of peanut oil in a cast iron skillet, which is just a little over halfway deep enough for a big chicken thigh. That's ok, you can just flip it halfway through. Set the burner on medium-high heat. It'll take about 10 minutes to get hot enough. What's hot enough? If you happen to have a thermometer handy, the answer is 350 standard burger units, if you don't, go all Martha Stewart on it and stick the back of a wooden spoon in the oil, if it creates a lot of excited bubbles it's hot enough (probably). If the oil starts smoking, DON'T PANIC, just turn the burner down and wait 5 minutes until it stops doing that. Jeez relax, buddy, you're going to give yourself a stroke.

3. Dredge the chicken thigh in flour. You did remember to rip the skin off first right? No? Take the skin off, IDIOT. This isn't KFC, it's katsu. Beat one of the eggs, then dip the thigh in there and get it all nice and wet all over. Put the panko in a separate bowl with some salt (not too much, especially if you are subbing in the ryorishi). Dip the eggy thigh in the panko. Use your dry hand to dump more panko all over it while turning it over and over in the mixture, or save yourself the time and just shake everything in a plastic bag. Get it nice and coated. Unlike with american fried chicken, which is coated in flour and you have to shake off the excess or it gets lumpy, panko will stick all over your chicken thigh like glue and that's exactly what you want. Set the chicken thigh aside until your oil is hot.

4. If your oil is hot, fry the chicken thigh now. Otherwise, skip to step 5 and come back later. Lay the chicken thigh in the hot oil. Turn it after 3 minutes. Cook the other side for 3 minutes. That's a total of 6 minutes if you weren't paying attention or are r-slurred with numbers. If at any point it starts to look darker than the picture by too much, turn your burner down. It's not a big deal, don't worry about it, unless you aren't watching it and you BURN it in which case you should immediately keep yourself safe by dumping the peanut oil over your idiot head.

5. Slice your onion. Half an onion will make this recipe pretty darn oniony. Feel free to only use 1/4 of an onion per bowl if you'd rather.

6. Mix together the dashi (or water + instant dashi), soy sauce, mirin, and sake. Beat the other egg loosely and set it aside.

7. Start up a pan on medium heat (nonstick or aluminum or stainless steel). Sautee the onion in some olive or vegetable oil for 5 min. Like the last time I wrote one of these, this is the step you won't see in the online how-to videos, because it's not traditional. If you want to be traditional, just dump all the liquid ingredients in the pan immediately with the onion and put a lid on it for 5 min. I've tried it, and I don't like how it turns out, the onion flavor is WAY too assertive. But feel free to try it for yourself!

8. Regardless of your decision in #7, now chop your chicken into slices (as pictured), add it to the pan, and dump the beaten egg on top of it, then put the lid on there and leave it for about 5 minutes or until the egg looks solid. If you don't like the egg whites in my picture, beat the egg harder and it will have both the appearance and texture of scrambled eggs, if that is your preference (it's good either way, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT).

9. Fill a bowl with rice and dump the entire contents of the pan over the top of it. Done.

10. If you're feeling like a fancy pants, garnish with some green onions (not pictured because I am trying to fricking eat here and I didn't have time for that shit).

If you disagree you are an ESL.

Need to take apart and clean my grill. Was only able to get up to 650 degrees this time, so there's crud at the bottom blocking air flow.

Same recipe as last time. Expiring today 75% off top sirloin 2" thick. Smother in yellow mustard, worcestershire, seaweed salt, and pepper, then char for 3 minutes total. Made a caesar salad and served with some homemade eggnog that needs to be drunk before it goes bad.

OP posts this

(in my opinion, abomination) of a french onion soup.

(+26)

/r/iamveryculinary

(-52)

If you want to eat a raw/boiled onion soup, have at it

French onion soup is made with caramelized onions

It's a pretty simple dish, with very few ingredients, very few steps

(+34)

You can't see the onions you don't know if they're caramelized or not. You've invented this whole scenario in your head

(-33)

The onions on top are not caramelized lol

The onions everyone is mentioning

The 2 onions on top

Do you see them

(+27)

The one that's very clearly a garnish?

(-14)

Yes. Which isn't caramelized.

French onion soup = caramelized onions

(+30)

But those aren't in the soup

Soup ≠ garnish

(-6)

h, its just trash on top of the soup? Lol

I like garnishes that you can eat, that compliment the dish

Maybe try garnishing the soup with a copy of Pokemon Red

(25)

You're not a well liked person, are you?

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