I think my boyfriend is lying about his divorce.

I (42F) and my boyfriend (48M) have been together for five years.

We met online, something I had never thought I would try, but at the time, I had been single for many years and my sister had recommended it to me. I was reluctant at first. She kept telling me how she had found many dates through this website and that it would be perfect for me as I'm always busy working so I could just use it in my free time or only when I felt like it. Anyway, one night over dinner she told me about this man she had recently met through the website and how perfect he was for her and how she could see a future with him. So I gave in. I gave it a try not expecting to actually find someone but when I matched with Carl, we hit it off instantly. He was so funny and charming so we exchanged numbers and then agreed to meet for coffee the following week.

When we met for coffee that day, Carl told me that he had just gotten a divorce from his wife (46F) of many years who he has one daughter (25F) with. I was fine with this, I'm not really the jealous type of person and he had assured me that he was ready to move on and that their relationship had been dying for ages. The first date went well and after a few more successful dates, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was over the moon as I really liked Carl.

I have always been very passionate about my work. I'm a nurse so my job is very demanding and intensive which means I work most nights during the week but still, I wouldn't change it for the world. I thought this may be a problem with Carl when we first started dating as I wouldn't be available most nights and during the day after working a shift, I would be catching up on sleep and therefore, not available to see him or talk to him. However, this was not the case. Carl thought it was perfect as he told me that he had a very busy schedule too with his work, business appointments and making time to see his daughter.

Carl told me that he was always free on a Tuesday which happened to align perfectly with my work schedule as I didn't work on Monday or Tuesday nights. He started coming over to my house every single Tuesday, pretty much every single week since and that was five years ago.

Here's where it starts to get a little bit weird though. Since we agreed to see each other on Tuesdays, Carl has come to my house every single Tuesday 11am-3pm but refuses to see me any other day and out of that time frame. He has always arrived perfectly on time at 11am and always left promptly at 3pm - no exceptions. As well as this, every single time he comes over, he brings this tiny, dirty chihuahua along with him. Well last week, I found out that this dog he has been bringing ng belongs to his ex wife. His excuse for this was that he likes taking the dog on walks and they do 10 miles of walking everyday together but he works too much to commit to getting a dog for himself. I found this to be really odd but I didn't question him about it any further. I know 10 miles might seem like a lot to walk the dog every day and to be honest, I don't nt quite believe it myself but I know that he does walk the dog regularly as every Wednesday and Thursday he calls me whilst he walks the dog. This is always between 4pm-6.30pm with again, no exceptions. He always ends the call at exactly 6.30 and always calls at exactly 4.

Anyways, a couple years ago I got the dreaded call that my dad died. I was absolutely distraught as he was my biggest supporter and was always there for me. I asked Carl if he would come to the funeral with me but he refused as the funeral was being held on a Sunday and not during his allotted time to to see me, Tuesdays 11am-3pm. Of course I was upset by this but eventually, I convinced myself that he was probably just busy.

Fast forward another year, I had become very sick and I had ended up in hospital, it was so serious that the doctors had told me I would have died had I have waited another day to seek medical help. I called Carl in despair and asked if he would bring me some clothes I had at home and drop them off at the hospital. Carl refused because I had asked him on a Saturday and not on a Tuesday. I was in so much pain, I was in the hospital for months. I constantly begged Carl to see me and again, he refused unless it was on a Tuesday at 11am-3pm.

The final reason that made me think my boyfriend may be cheating on me with his ex wife was last month at his daughters wedding. The wedding was to be held in Italy and the plan was for Carl and his ex-wife to fly out there together four days before the wedding and for me to fly out by myself a day before the wedding. Carl's daughter had rented out a huge, luxurious villa for close family and friends to stay in before and after the wedding. I thought this was perfect - I have never spent the night with Carl so I thought us sharing a bed would be a huge turning point in our relationship. That was until I found out that Carl and his ex wife would be sleeping in the villa and I would be sleeping in a converted barn by myself at the bottom of the villa garden. I asked Carl if I could please sleep in the villa with him but he refused so I refused to go to the wedding and stay home.

On top of this, I have never been to Carl's house, in fact, I don't even know where he lives and he has me blocked on all of his social media. I can only contact him on what's app.

I think Carl may have been lying to me when we first met about his divorce to his wife. I'm starting to get the impression that he is actually having an AFFAIR with me and cheating on his wife. He's so secretive with me and appears to still have a lot of contact with her. Or maybe they decided to rekindle their relationship after their divorce? Or maybe I'm overthinking and they are just really close friends, I mean they do have a daughter together. So reddit, am I being crazy? What should I do?

EDIT

Thank you everyone for your helpful insight and comments, I have been trying to read through them all. For all those saying this story isn't real, I can assure you that it 100% is, obviously now I am having severe doubts about him and what he has told me I'm realising how stupid I looked in this relationship. Some of you don't seem to realise that when you're truly in love you really don't want to lose that person. For those offering helpful advice thank you. I have a plan in place for when I see him this Tuesday and I will update you all after that!

Left chin visible so you'd know it was me. I look terrible in all the photos but idc.

It was literally some of the most fun I've ever had in my life. The 60 second drop before they pull the parachute feels like you're going to die. My brain has never had that much dopamine before. Might go again next weekend if there are any time slots, was that fun. I highly recommend.

we dated for 3 months after

and incels can't get a date

Just a bit of reddit foid sneed for you enjoy.

Edit: Some more sneed planted

>I dunno what to say. Stay ignorant of you want? At the end of the day you have every right to choose to not improve your s*x life if that's what you want.

I'm 45 and my gf is 24, it's great.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AskAnAustralian/comments/15lazwb/comment/jvf22re/?context=3

Like why doesn't this b-word just call herself. frickin foids, I bet when they argue (aka she does something fricktarded) she lists her chores like every other woman "I WASH THE LAUNDRY, I DRY THE LAUNDRY, I FOLDED THE LAUNDRY, I DO EVERYTHING AROUND HEEERREE!!!!!" yet she can't be assed to do this basic FRICKIKNG task i'm so god darn pissed off at this commercial for ac you guys.

It's not like the door needs fixed or the sink is busted or some shit, yet she acts like she has no agency to PICK UP THE FUCUCKING PHONE HERSELF. Like b-word please why don't YOU FRICKING DO IT. and he's so used ot being nagged to death look at how he responds to her, fricking soyboybetacuck arrrrgh I'm fricking malding here.

This, this is why I choose to be gay.

Doja Cat in newly-shared photo:

“thirst trap 😘” pic.twitter.com/M0J9l3SLbb

— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) August 7, 2023

She trying to tank her career.

"Shakira Flabbergasted" called 911 on her partner to "scare" him because he was "being a douchebag". She disconnected the call before providing and police traced the cell phone ping and they located her to ensure she was okay.

When she finally answered the door she said everything's ok and that she has to go to work and doesn't have time for police investigation. Police want too ensure her safety and continue to investigate. She starts flipping out. All of sudden, her partner aggressively rips open door and appears ready to battle the 3-4 officers, and demands they let her go. Police tase him and Shakira is freaking out, and is immediately brought to the squad car where she continues to be unruly and upset because her child was also in apartment. She is upset because she's going to be late for work and will lose her job, and her partner is currently unemployed so they won't be able to pay her bills. Admits to calling 911 as scare tactic. Meanwhile in the apartment, her partner is calm and polite and gets his taser wounds treated.

Full video where you can hear that her name apparently really is "Shakira Flabbergasted." Also is that a My Little Pony tattoo?

So, I have been seeing this guy four weeks now. Everything seemed great at first, and this was the first guy I met in a while who I felt a strong connection with. That all took a turn yesterday.

I had recently bought some leather leggings that I thought looked great on my figure. When I wore them on our date, I thought he would give me a compliment. He didn't. He's never given me a compliment on any of our dates, which I thought strange at first because normally guys will say something along the lines of I look nice, but he's never said anything like that to me, even though I have given him compliments.

Later, I asked him what he thought of my outfit and he said he didn't like it. I asked him if he liked any of the outfits I have worn. He said no. Mildly annoyed now, I asked him well what outfits does he find attractive.

He proceeded to send pictures of women with hourglass figures wearing bodycon dresses. It felt like he was telling me that my body and the way I dress wasn't good enough for him so I should completely change myself for him.

I have also grown up constantly hearing people tell me how less attractive I am than my sister. So, I am highly sensitive to people telling me they don't like the way I dress, my physical features and body.

I felt pissed off with him and asked him if I don't meet his standard of female beauty why is he even bothering with me then because I don't plan to change how I dress or style myself for him. He responded with a facepalm emoji.

Now I have conflicting feelings. On the one hand, I really did like him but I feel so hurt that he doesn't seem accept me for who I am and wants me to change and conform to the Instagram model standard of beauty.

She seems pretty insecure, I feel bad for her tbh. Let's continue:

You aren't overreacting but you are kinda projecting onto him. He might not be a fan of your outfits but that doesn't he wants you to change who you are to accomadate his taste. Just because the outfits he sent you had women with body types that are different from yours didn't mean he doesn't like your body type. You asked him a question and he answered but you didn't like his answer. He could have been more careful with your feelings but this whole situation blew up quick af. You can drop him if you want but is this actually an issue? Is him being a great guy up to this point suddenly not matter because of your contrasting taste in women clothing?

Maybe I was projecting on to him, but if that was the case why didn't he just explain that to me like you did? Sending a face palm emoji felt so low-effort from him.

Dude sounds like kind of an r-slur tbh. Is he a catch?

I think he's only seeing me because he can't get dates with women more attractive than me.

He told me I was the first woman he's matched with in ages. So, now I feel he's only going on dates with me because he can't find what he's really attracted to.

I liked this guy for his personality initially, but if Reddit is supporting this guy's right to be brutally honest then I should be brutally honest too. I am actually more attractive than him because I am in shape through regular exercise whilst he has quite a lot of belly fat. He also has a receding hairline. He's admitted to me that I am the first date he's got in months. He has standards for the type of women who wouldn't look at him twice on the street.

What the frick is going on here? She's fit and got style, and wears leather leggings. She wears classy dresses, too:

I thought I do wear classy dresses. This is the type of dresses I usually wear.

The dress:

Classy!

Honestly, I'm sort of on the foids side here as insane as she is. Or, more accurately, I'm on the side that this dude must be even more r-slurred than her. Still, in summation:

Get some cats, problem solved 😎

I already have one.

Marsey wins again!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wK0yPSwVfzE%3Ft%3D1498

pic.twitter.com/VlEU1M2oSt

— Tired Meme Clown (@OldMemeClown) August 4, 2023

Original text:

My birthday is in a couple of days. I've been looking for a baker in my city whose quite skilled at cake calligraphy because I want a specific, aesthetic bento cake. I don't really like cake but I'm making a life scrap book hence the priority on aesthetics.

After searching for weeks and not finding any baker whose work I liked, I decided to make a post about what i wanted, incase one of my followers knows someone good. And thankfully I got a good recommendation.

On the phone with my bf hours later, I mentioned how happy I was that I'd finally found a baker for the cake I want. He replied with “oh. so I did a thing”, and proceeded to tell me how he saw my post and decided to surprise me.

The thing is I wish he didn't, because I looked through the IG page of the baker he chose and none of the cakes on display is pretty. And their writing looks like the work of a toddler.

Ngl, it upset me and i didn't do a good job of concealing my feelings. It's not like I yelled, I just said “I wish you'd talked to me before you placed the order”. Plus he ordered a 6inch cake, red velvet and vanilla flavors, while I what I want is a 4inch chocolate cake.

One of the reasons I'm upset (in addition to the fact that the cake is going to be ugly (or at least not at all what I want)) is because going ahead to book with the baker I want means there'll be wastage. We both don't like cake, and I'll be spending the day alone at home so who's going to eat the cake he ordered?

It's been a couple of hours and I feel bad, like maybe I could've just pretended? It's really not a big deal and I think I made him unhappy so idk. Did I overreact?

I love my body hair — it repels creeps with a 90 percent success rate https://t.co/S8vPiYKvcY pic.twitter.com/CKWFbuNdjv

— New York Post (@nypost) August 3, 2023

My Husband Won't Work

In the 10 years we've been together he has collectively been employed for two years. I kicked him out again this morning. He has been making these passive aggressive comments to me the last few weeks. I just couldn't take it anymore. I told him I refused to be treated like this under the roof that only I pay for. We were seperated when I got this apartment. As soon as I let him move back in he quit that job. He has never been on my lease. I had to threaten to call the cops to get him to leave.

I just feel like it's so cruel for him to have put all of this stress on me for this long. He does all the dishes and laundry, so he's contributing something I guess. But I pay for everything. I buy his weed, pay the bills/rent, car payments, trips. I just....can't do it anymore. It hurts me so much that he isn't willing to be my partner. In the few hours he has been kicked out he reached back out to his therapist and got a hire-at-interview. But....I feel like he's just going to quit everything again as soon as I let him back in.

I haven't eaten since yesterday and I can't stop crying. Why won't he stop exploiting me and be my partner?

tl;dr girl hooks up with guy in Paris, hooks up again later, he gets a job in her city (on purpose), they continue relationship, live together in Paris(rent free for her), he tells her he moved there on purpose and wants a future with her. now she wants to be single for a year (or forever) and start dating again after (or not).

I met my current bf about 3 years ago when I was 19 and in vacation in Paris with a friend. I wanted a European hookup and met him on a dating app. He was 25. We met up twice and I had a good time and I genuinely liked and respected him. I thought he was kind, interesting, and smart (especially compared to the men I was used to aha). He also seemed to like and respect me a lot and he was incredibly sweet to me.

Obviously vacation ended and I went back to the US and college. We had no contact beyond liking each others ig posts, but that winter break I ended up in Europe with friends again, by chance in the same city as him. We hung out a few more times there, and I left with even more positive feelings towards him, as he was truly charming and very kind to me.

We both continued with our lives, but that spring he messaged me and said that he'd been offered an incredible job opportunity in the city I live in and that he was considering accepting it. I did think it was mildly odd that there would be such a prestigious job in my city (not America's greatest but it is large) but not in any of the major European cities around him, but I don't know much about his field (architecture).

Anyways I was excited to see him again, and when he arrived we started spending a lot of time together. We ended up deciding to live together that summer, as I was interning in the same city that his job asked him to spend a lot of time in, and it's a notoriously expensive city so it made lots of financial sense for both of us. I was also very happy to live with him, and we spent a great summer.

He decided to spend another year in my city, which I was surprised about again since I thought he would return to Europe, but we had another great year. This summer I found an internship in the European city he's from, and so I stayed in the house he owns (rent free baby) and he took a bunch of vacation he had saved up to spend the summer with me.

I did not expect to spend so long with this man, since he was just an ill advised hookup, but I did see a long term future with him. However, we were talking about our future plans before I returned to the US, and in the course of the conversation he ended up confessing that the original job in the US did not drop onto his lap by random chance- he purposefully applied to jobs in my city because he really liked me and wanted to see me again.

I was kind of floored by that- and the more I think about it, the more upsetting it is that this random man moved to a different country for me and didn't even admit it until we'd been together for years. I was already sort of on the fence about continuing our relationship, as this is my first long term relationship and he's been in a couple of ~ 1 year long relationships, and one 6 year long relationship. I also have not introduced him to my family (or told them his age), as the whole situation doesn't make either of us look great. Now I'm even more hesitant, as although I do really love him, it's kind of insane that he did that. My original plan was to suggest to him that he should move back to Europe for this year (he has lots of job options so it shouldn't be a problem), that we should take a break, and then that I would move to Europe next year for grad school and we could start a real relationship. That way I could enjoy my last year of college single, and then I could pretend that we met organically in Europe with me being older than 19.

I now don't even know if I want that exclusively because of his confession. I feel like I'm being unreasonable, as he's an incredible man with many virtues and I like him a lot and he's always treated me very well, but I can't shake the feeling that what he did was insane. My friends are split and I'm not going to talk to my parents about this so I thought I would ask here.

comments mostly calling her an r-slur, surely jealous that they haven't gotten their own rich European prince and she's casting hers away. don't see much drama there at a glance but i'm also

pin edit: way more comments and drama now

BREAKING NEWS

LANDWHALE DISCOVERS LIFE IS NOT A DISNEY MOVIE

WAHH WAHH HOW DARE PROPLE NOT WANNA DATE FATTIES AHH BEAUTY IN THE BEASTIALITY TOLD ME THAT LOOKS DONT MATTER 😂😂😂😂

Dawg does she really think its wtong to not be attracted to ugly neegas? Porksword gay son https://t.co/d1Av2u5dXc

— Greg Foid Slava Ukraini ✊🏿🇺🇦 (@AntiHateComms) July 30, 2023