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Why is this happening?
Because there are no greater threat to women than men.
"Nice guy" with "references" try to put the paranoid foid brain at ease.
Hi, decent guy with long history of treating women like fully autonomous human beings worthy of dignity and respect. (Can provide references) I do not mind at all when you say men suck. I know who you’re talking about. I have very few close male friends because guys are tiresome. When I was younger and in sports and the coach was chewing out the entire team he would say, “…and I’d you know you do/don’t do this then I’m not talking to you, but there’s always something to be learned from someone else’s mistake.” This is how I hear it when the women here complain about the awful state of men (in America specifically). I don’t take offense and try to learn wherever I can so that I make sure I’m not making these mistakes with my partner whom I love dearly. For example, we are in our mid 30s and accidentally got pregnant last year before r v w, got it taken care of and I got a vasectomy so as to not endanger my partner again. Guys take note of this part, I’ve never had so much amazing s*x in my life.
He got his foid pregnant, she immediately aborted it and made him get a vasectomy That is.. presuming any of the above is true and buddy isn't a fat male feminist laying bait for naive foids to get their guards down, like this one
Since you have refereces and I've met a tiny amount out of dozens of men who are decent I'll believe you.
Also R v W reversal seems to have absolutely destroyed slut culture. Foids who are too stupid to be responsible have given up?
I mean, every time we have s*x we risk dying from pregnancy complications. And with Roe overturned we have no way to protect ourselves from them.
If only there were things like condoms, birth control pills, IUDs, cervical cops, sponges, spermicide gel, rhythm method, plan B.... I mean if only there was something other than abortions.
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For the newfriends, RitalinRx is Wildchild, a longtime drama/KF entity who has essentially zero object permanence, will babble uninterrupted for hours on end about s*x on the astral plane with various deities (this is literal, she does this often and has for years) and has been fluctuating between staying with her abusive(? unreliable narrator, see - schizophrenia) dad and homeless shelters for years (confirmed by incredibly lonely drama rejects calling in threats to get her kicked out) because she is incapable of functioning beyond keeping a phone charged.
Whether you like watching s getting shit on, or women punching as down as far as possible and still managing to miss, or just slapfights that go nowhere despite endless amounts of effort, this is the thread for you. It has everything.
*note about the KF saga: idk the specifics, I was linked to threads about it awhile back and while I generally trust my memory, I could be wrong about this. @QuadNarca or @Joan_Wayne_Gacy can likely provide further or correct details
Scroll to the linked comment; the OP is unrelated.
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why the frick do we keep getting mentioned in these conversations
this is about asians and black women are brought up? leave us the frick alone
black women are typically repulsed by dating other races and the vast majority of us want black men. we are not "left out". countless statistics show black women overwhelmingly refuse to date other races
I don't believe it, sorry. But it is an interesting theory though, maybe the black girl magic is actually fake and the racial stereotypes of black guys are actually true? Would be great if rdrama's resident userbase of black women could respond.
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NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) --- U.S. first lady Jill Biden gave one of the clearest indications yet that President Joe Biden will run for a second term, telling The Associated Press in an exclusive interview on Friday that there's "pretty much" nothing left to do but figure out the time and place for the announcement.
Although Biden has long said that it's his intention to seek reelection, he has yet to make it official, and he's struggled to dispel questions about whether he's too old to continue serving as president. Biden would be 86 at the end of a second term.
"How many times does he have to say it for you to believe it?" the first lady said in Nairobi, the second and final stop of her five-day trip to Africa.
She added, "He says he's not done. He's not finished what he's started. And that's what's important."
Granddaughter Naomi Biden, who is on the trip, cheered the first lady's comments after the interview.
"Preach nana," she said on Twitter.
The president himself was asked about his wife's comments just hours later in an interview with ABC News, and laughed when told of her remarks, adding, "God love her. Look, I meant what I said, I've got other things to finish before I get into a full-blown campaign."
Biden aides have said an announcement is likely to come in April, after the first fundraising quarter ends, which is around the time that President Barack Obama officially launched his reelection campaign.
The first lady has long been described as a key figure in Biden's orbit as he plans his future.
"Because I'm his wife," she laughed.
She brushed off the question about whether she has the deciding vote on whether the president runs for reelection.
"Of course he'll listen to me, because we're a married couple," she said. But, she added later, "he makes up his own mind, believe me."
The wide-ranging interview took place on the anniversary of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and Jill Biden recalled her trip into the country last May to meet the besieged country's first lady, Olena Zelenska.
They visited a school that was being used to help migrants who fled the fighting. Some of the families, Jill Biden said, had hid underground for weeks before making their escape.
"We thought then, how long can this go on? And here we are, a year later," she said. "And look at what the Ukrainian people have done. I mean, they are so strong and resilient, and they are fighting for their country."
"We're all hoping that this war is over soon, because we see, every day, the damage, the violence, the horror on our televisions," the first lady added. "And we just can't believe it."
Jill Biden also spoke extensively for the first time about her skin cancer diagnosis, which led doctors to remove multiple basal cell lesions in January.
"I thought, oh, it's just something on my eye, you know," she said. "But then they said, no, we think it's basal cell."
Then doctors checked her chest, she said, and they said "that's definitely basal cell."
"So I'm lucky," the first lady said. "Believe me, I am so lucky that they caught it, they removed it, and I'm healthy."
Raising awareness about cancer screening has been a cornerstone of her advocacy efforts for years, even before her son, Beau, died from a brain tumor almost a decade ago. She often says the worst three words anyone can hear are "you have cancer."
When it was her turn to hear a doctor say that, Jill Biden said, "it was a little harder than I thought."
Now, she said, she's "extra careful" about sunscreen, especially when she's at the beach, which she described as "one of my favorite places in the world."
Jill Biden is the only first lady to continue her career in addition to her ceremonial duties, teaching writing and English to community college students. At 71 years old, she said she's not ready to think about retirement.
"I know that I will know when it's enough," she said. "But it's not yet."
She said she left detailed lesson plans for a substitute teacher while she was on her trip, and she's been texting with students as she was traveling. She plans to be back in the classroom at 8 a.m. on Tuesday morning, after arriving home from Africa around 3 a.m. Monday.
Education has been a flashpoint in American politics, especially with conservative activists and politicians trying to limit discussion of race and sexuality in classrooms.
"I don't believe in banning books," she said.
She added: "I think the teachers and the parents can work together and decide what the kids should be taught."
During the interview, Jill Biden reflected on the legacy of former President Jimmy Carter, who recently began home hospice care. The Carter Center, which the former president founded after leaving the White House, was key in helping to eliminate the Guinea worm parasite in African countries.
"That's the perfect example," she said. "He's such a humble man. He didn't go out and shout, 'Look what I've done.' He just did the work."
Jill Biden recalled Carter and his wife, Rosalynn, reaching out on the eve of Joe Biden's inauguration two years ago.
"They called and said congratulations," she said. "And it meant so much to me and to Joe."
She also talked about visiting the Carters at their home in Plains, Georgia, early in Biden's presidency.
"It's not just that here are two presidents. It's here are two friends," she said. "Actually four friends, who have really supported one another over the years."
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He's been faithful, reliable, empathetic, supportive, caring. He's also objectively attractive on the surface (e.g. 6ft, 6 figures, 6 pack). Awesome dad. Does more than his share at home. He's like the total embodiment of a positive masculine man but I don't desire him physically and I don't really want to be anymore vulnerable or emotionally close to him than I've been.
Recently he had a dry spell of s*x. I know he wants to be physically intimate around two times a week but I got him to accept it once a month. But I wasn't even doing that for a few months because I just got busy with life and he stopped me to ask what's up. I tend to avoid these talks and eventually he asked me if I loved him.
I just told him what I felt was true - I actually never loved you and we're just playing the roles our religion and community expected of us. I know I broke his heart - he cried - and I told him I needed space and have been living in another part of the house.
He seems fine now. He's in even better shape now and has reconnected with friends. He's radiating great energy and I offered to co-parent with him as long as we don't have s*x but he needs to be exclusive with me.
I just want him to respect my decision. I know what I feel. I don't love him and no counseling is going to change that. I also need him to understand s*x is just something other people do but it's not something we need in our otherwise good marriage.
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- cyberdick : Which jealous foid exiled me from this copycat hole?!
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(OP posts about how it’s literally genital warts, this is the second highest rated reply)
Scrolling comments
I’ve seen three or four so far that tell her to respect his boundaries
Is it really fricking weird to call “does not want a warty diseased gussy” a “boundary” instead of just common sense or
A quick scroll through OP’s post history indicates that she posts almost exclusively about medical problems. She has IBS, GERD/LPR, Lyme, mysterious pain, I have no idea, and of course, genital warts that she rages about for dozens of comments.
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A viral TikTok video of a crying woman has once again sparked the debate over the phenomenon of "Disney adults".
@Jordan.Jacee's video shows the moment she walks into the Disneyworld theme park in Orlando, Florida, and breaks down "ugly crying" at the very sight of Cinderella's Castle in the distance.
The video was posted in November, but was picked up by a social account this week, leading to 3.4 million views and nearly 17,000 comments -- many of them scathing about so-called "Disney adults".
In the clip, Jordan wears Mickey Mouse ears and cries as a song called 'What Dreams are Made Of' plays. She appears to be in her twenties.
"[Cue] the ugly crying. First time seeing Cinderella's Castle in Magic Kindgdom," she wrote in the caption.
“A wild Disney adult,” commented a user named Cole, tagging a friend. “I thought this was a video of a wife seeing their military spouse for the first time in a year,” joked another user.
"Someone stop the Disney adults," commented a user named Di; while another was shocked by the reaction "at her grown age...".
"This is literally the definition of a Disney adult," wrote another.
A recent Rolling Stone article referred to Disney adults as "the most hated people on the internet".
Meanwhile in June 2022, a bride attracted astonished comments after revealing on Reddit that she and her husband paid for appearances by Mickey and Minnie Mouse at their wedding, instead of food for their guests.
"Disney adults need to be stopped," wrote one Twitter user sharing the story.
Meanwhile, last year radio station NPR proclaimed that "for some adults who love Disney, it's like a religion."
"There's adults who watch Disney and then there's Disney Adults," tweeted journ*list Oliver Jia this week.
"Is there any academic scholarship about the phenomenon of Disney Adults? Please tell me some sociologist out there is getting tenure for their work on this," wrote journ*list Helen Rosner, amid the furore.
"I feel like it's pretty straightforwardly a We All Have In Our Hearts A Void Filled By Religion thing but maybe it's more complex than that."
However, some commenters jumped to the Disneyworld fan's defence.
"You're forgetting not everyone was lucky and privileged to go to Disneyland frequently as a kid. let's let people live their dream no matter the age," wrote Damian Fuiava.
"Disney adults scare me. Oh wait, no they don't because they literally don't harm anybody just like this pleasant woman," wrote another user.
“Some of you all have so little joy in your life and it shows,” wrote a third.
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Have you heard of Lucky Girl Syndrome: the belief that if you tell yourself you are lucky, you will be? With zero effort! I hadn't when it first burst on the scene. But now that it's gone viral on TikTok --- and triggered heated debates about whether it's a life-changing form of positive thinking or a self-delusional act for the smug and privileged --- it has pierced my reality-based bubble. And I've taken that as a sign that the universe is reaching out.
So ... now speaking to you as a person who has watched a destabilizing number of Lucky Girl Syndrome videos, I can't decide if the influencers and influencees are bonkers, or if I secretly think they're on to something and I'm the one who's bonkers.
Or maybe both.
My name is Beth, and I confess: The words of Laura Galebe, the influencer credited with kicking off the TikTok trend in December 2022, have stuck with me.
In case the video has not forced its way into your TikTok "For You" page, or you don't even know that there are "For You" pages, here's how it goes down: Galebe looks her 170,000-plus followers in the camera's eye and says, "You're going to listen to what I'm about to say because this is going to change your #$% life.
"Ever since I can remember," she says, "I've always made it a point to tell everyone, 'I am so lucky. I just always expect great things to happen to me and so they do.' "
It's just the kind of cheery, haughty nonsense that usually uncorks my vast reserve of cynical skepticism. But videos with the Lucky Girl Syndrome hashtag have been viewed nearly 300 million times on TikTok --- and the craze has spawned Lucky Girl hoodies and candles and affirmation mirror decals --- so who am I to question?
And in truth, proclaiming good luck seemed easier than, oh, I don't know, working for it, as I've been doing only my entire adult life. I called a woman who has been one of my best friends since eighth grade. I'd describe us as optimists who also enjoy a good rant about life's disappointments.
"How are you?" she asked. "I'm good," I answered. "I just always expect great things to happen to me and so they do.'"
"What???" she yelled. Who was this imposter changing the basis of our entire relationship?
If you're not on TikTok, it's almost impossible to imagine the magnitude of the Lucky Girl Syndrome onslaught.\
Some videos are from gurus and influencers who are already in the positive-thinking motivational space and have added a Lucky Girl TikTok or two to attract more followers. Others are by the Lucky Girls themselves --- many of whom are white, young, vibrant, and conventionally attractive, and therefore already seem to be benefiting from privilege, even before the mantras. ("The universe is always conspiring in my favor." "Miracles effortlessly flow to me." "I am always in the right place at the right time.")
Lucky girl after lucky girl testifies about how the belief system changed their lives, albeit sometimes in ways as seemingly insignificant as a noodle shop being open late at night when they thought it might be closed.
And the force is strong, even in Boston, as I learned on my #LGS binge. It helped one woman avoid an extra rental car fee at Logan, and ensured that another, a blonde in a Celtics cap, didn't have her laser appointment canceled after all, "because everything works out for me."
A Massachusetts bartender who lost her Tiger's Eye crystal at first worried it would doom her financially. But then, she gushed to her TikTok viewers, she remembered she was "doing" Lucky Girl.
And guess what? "Honey, I got a $100 tip," she tells us. "I also got news that my health insurance isn't going to be costing as much per month, and I'm also losing a bunch of weight."
I was starting to feel like a fool for missing out on this bonanza, particularly since I'd recently rented a car for a summer vacation and even the compacts were pricier than I'd expected. I decided to try again, this time with a better attitude.
"I am a lucky girl," I said, sitting at my dining room table. "Expedia will find me a better deal than I got last time. I am a lucky girl."
"What?" one of my sons called out, thinking I was talking to him. "I am a lucky girl," I repeated robot style.
"OK," he said, making sarcastic eye contact with the dog.
I opened the Expedia site, clicked the discount for members of AARP, quickly modified my mantra --- "I am a lucky girl of a certain age" --- and awaited my Lucky Girl discount.
Lucky Girl Syndrome is the latest in a long tradition of self-help, positive-thinking movements that periodically sweep society. Seventy years ago we had "The Power of Positive Thinking" by the American minister Norman Vincent Peale. In 2006, Rhonda Byrne, an Australian television writer and producer, gave the world "The Secret," a philosophy based on what's been called the "pseudo-scientific law of attraction," which holds that positive thoughts bring positive results.
But with endless examples of misfortune all around us, the flip side of the Lucky Girl Syndrome is dark; by definition it seems to blame people who are suffering, and has also been criticized for its "toxic positivity."
"Let's talk about how ableist it is," says Allie Priestley, a former shamanic practitioner, who describes herself as neurodivergent and disabled, in a TikTok video. "Let's talk about how messed up it is to tell people whose kids have cancer that 'Your words are spells and you're just not saying the right thing.' "
Seemingly benign trends like Lucky Girl Syndrome can harm people by leading them to ignore health or other problems that cannot be cured by the power of thought alone, Priestley told the Globe, and she plans to soon release a series about her own negative experiences with the positive-thinking movement on her YouTube channel.
The effectiveness of the Lucky Girl Syndrome has been investigated by reporters from publications that range from the BBC ("Lucky Girl Syndrome: Smug TikTok trend or life-changing positivity?" ) to Teen Vogue ("Lucky Girl Syndrome is Going Viral on TikTok," Teen Vogue reported. "But Does it Work?")
But perhaps the answer doesn't come from psychologists with fancy degrees, or high-priced motivational coaches, but rather from the famously heartless Boston rental market. Consider the case of Alyson LaRue, a 22-year-old freelance video editor and podcast producer.
In a January TikTok she announced that she would be moving to Boston in just a few weeks' time and that she would use the Lucky Girl Syndrome to find the "perfect" sublet. "Perfect location, perfect price, perfect-size room, perfect roommate, all of it," she said.
On the video LaRue briefly wonders if she should be more "realistic." But no! "I'm going to be the lucky b**** that I am, and trust that the perfect apartment is going to come to me," she said.
She searched online, and found definite possibilities in the South End, Jamaica Plain, and Back Bay. But alas, in the end she got bad vibes from each. Reached by phone on Jan. 31 --- when ideally she would have been making her way up I-95 from Florida to Boston --- she was instead living with her grandmother in Lancaster, Penn.
Is the Boston rental market where the Lucky Girl Syndrome goes to die, I asked her. Does even it have its limits?
"It all depends," she said, "on whether you truly have a Lucky Girl mentality or if you just think you do."
The way she sees it, she did have good luck. It appeared in the form of her not finding a place, she said. "I'm being directed to where l am meant to go."
Editor's note: Beth is still awaiting her Lucky Girl discount on a rental car.
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The Israeli online landscape flared up — nay, erupted — this week when Liri Ambar Devi, a s*x instructor and eroticism researcher, shared a Facebook post with a photo of herself in which she is seen sat down with her legs spread wide open and a group of men around her, gazing down her vulva.
While to many this bizarre spectacle might have looked scandalous, the post's main goal was to promote the unique workshop she teaches on female sexuality.
The original post reads:
"This is me, showing my vagina to 30 men.
Why would I do such a thing?
I had doubts about whether I should share this post at all, because I was afraid of the comments that would come my way. Not that it's anything new, I receive threatening comments and messages on a daily basis.
Still - this is more revealing. In every aspect.
And that's exactly one of the reasons why I'm doing this."
Liri explained that the idea came to her and her friend when they tried to come up with a way to educate men on women's pleasure. She said that there is a large demand among men wishing to explore this field as most of their knowledge on the matter comes from watching porn.
"We realized that we want to teach men to become better lovers. To be delightful and invested and loving lovers," she wrote.
"We wanted to have a demonstration.
Of what? A model of a vagina? Mannequins?
No. Ourselves? Yes... it felt right."
Liri continued to describe the brainstorming process, and shares all the concerns and dilemmas that went through their heads. They were worried such a workshop would make them look less professional, or cheap. Nonetheless, they decided to go for it, and she describes the dynamic in the workshops as "magical."
"When they enter, we seat them down silently.
And we simply allow them to look.
Because why not.
Because we trust them.
And then, the magic happens."
The s*x instructor goes on to share some of the feedback she received from men in her workshop: "My heart opened and I miss my girlfriend's vagina all of the sudden", "What???? The clitoris was there the whole time???", "listen, this is how's this supposed to be tough in schools", "I have never set my eyes on a vagina like that, I didn't dare", "this has changed my life."
While many of the comments were less welcoming of the idea, some pointed to her excellent marketing tactic and applauded her courage.
She concluded her post by inviting her followers to her seventh workshop on January 28. The course, entitled "The Women Whisperer" is intended for men aged 21 and up who wish to learn about the secrets of the female body and pleasure.
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- BernieSanders : this will never catch on, it's a mouthfull and a pain in the butt to spell
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Currently looking for girls in prison to be my pen pal. This is the move. This is how I win. I can’t wait to meet my wife pic.twitter.com/V5oWos0Tby
— € 0 ɴ̶̷̲̅ ɴ̶̷̲̅ l 3 (@IHuffGasoline) January 24, 2023
So what if she killed someone while drunk driving, that just adds character:
Vehicular Homicide via drunk driving
In nature desperation is a catalyst for adaptation:
Women have been doing this for years with male inmates. It’s our time now.
Thankfully evolution forced foids to be attracted to moids:
We should adopt one of these girls as a mascot and maybe start an rdrama prison gang.
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Early in 2020, an Indigenous artist urged the owners of a new music venue in town to change its name.
It was called The Winnebago, after the street on which it stands. Many Indigenous people and allies let the owners know that wasn't the best name for a white-owned music venue. One of them was nibiiwakamigkwe, also known as Kay LeClaire, a founding member and co-owner of the queer Indigenous artists' collective giige, and budding leader of Madison's Indigenous arts community.
It took several months, but the venue eventually relented and rebranded as The Burr Oak.
"I'm glad the owners have decided to no longer profit from the identities of Indigenous peoples," LeClaire wrote in an editorial for Our Lives Wisconsin. "I'm glad the name is going, but I'm not happy the institutions that allowed it to be stolen in the first place remain. For over 500 years, Indigenous Peoples have not controlled our narratives and representations. Our exclusion has been built into inclusion for others."
One problem with that narrative: LeClaire wasn't Indigenous, and was, in fact, profiting from the identities of Indigenous peoples.
Since at least 2017, Kay LeClaire has claimed Métis, Oneida, Anishinaabe, Haudenosaunee, Cuban and Jewish heritage. Additionally, they identify as "two-spirit," a term many Indigenous people use to describe a non-binary gender identity. In addition to becoming a member and co-owner of giige, LeClaire earned several artists' stipends, a paid residency at the University of Wisconsin, a place on the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women Task Force and many speaking gigs and art exhibitions, not to mention a platform and trust of a community -- all based on an ethnic identity that appears to have been fully fabricated.
LeClaire declined to be interviewed, but provided a statement by email to Madison365.
"I am sorry," they wrote. "A lot of information has come to my attention since late December. I am still processing it all and do not yet know how to respond adequately. What I can do now is offer change. Moving forward, my efforts will be towards reducing harm by following the directions provided by Native community members and community-specified proxies. Currently, this means that I am not using the Ojibwe name given to me and am removing myself from all community spaces, positions, projects, and grants and will not seek new ones. Any culturally related items I hold are being redistributed back in community, either to the original makers and gift-givers when possible or elsewhere as determined by community members. Thank you."
LeClaire declined to answer follow-up questions, including who gave them their Ojibwe name and what information came to their attention.
**"Hobbyist genealogist" uncovers "pretendian" **
The deception first came to light in late November on New Age Fraud Forum, a message board on a relatively obscure website. User AdvancedSmite posted about LeClaire, including copious evidence of LeClaire's claims as well as evidence of their true genealogy.
AdvancedSmite spoke with Madison365 but asked to remain anonymous for fear of retribution for exposing LeClaire and several other "pretendians."
AdvancedSmite, who is also of Indigenous heritage, said they first became aware of LeClaire through a Facebook ad for an upcoming talk on Indigenous feminism at which LeClaire was going to speak. It identified LeClaire as nibiiwakamigkwe, which AdvancedSmite found unusual; the single given Ojibwe name is "typically something that would just be used in ceremony or with other people who are Ojibwe or a part of your community," they said.
But they also said they're aware that some Indigenous people have recently been using those given names more publicly as a means to embrace and celebrate their heritage. While unusual, it wasn't necessarily a red flag.
Still, AdvancedSmite did some googling, and connected the Ojibwe name to LeClaire, which is "a common Native American last name." AdvancedSmite also noticed through online posts that LeClaire seemed to often identify as Anishinaabe, which was also unusual.
"Our band names are so important, so I tend to be suspicious when someone just says Anishinaabe," AdvancedSmite said.
Also a "hobbyist genealogist," AdvancedSmite used online records and resources to find LeClaire's true lineage -- German, Swedish and French Canadian. Once they had that more or less confirmed -- and were sure there wasn't another Kathryn LeClaire of the same age -- they posted on the New Age Fraud Forum.
AdvancedSmite said they have no prior connection to LeClaire nor to the Madison Indigenous community, and are not personally involved in this case.
"I have a skill and I saw something and I did what I could," they said.
"A gut punch"
It took almost a month for the New Age Fraud Forum post to reach the Madison community, when clients started sending the link to giige members.
"I was so relieved that someone else had called it out and I didn't have to. I've had my suspicions, but I didn't have anything confirmed," said tattoo artist Nipinet Landsem. "At first, I was relieved. And then I moved into every human emotion known to man. I am horrified, I'm upset. We've already had so much taken away from us. American society is built off of things that have been stolen from Native and Black people. Stolen land, stolen resources, stolen labor, and white people think it's okay to just continue stealing from us."
"This causes a lot of harm, first of all, because it is a non-native person taking and making not just a profit, but making a name for themselves through our traditions, which is extra harmful because for so many years, these traditions were illegal," said Arvina Martin, a member of the Ho-Chunk Nation and former Madison alder. "To take our traditions, and then make a name for your individual self is completely anathema to (our) values. And the fact that again, this was illegal for so long, and it just really twists the knife to see that happen. It's the worst when it's someone trusted."
"I'm just stuck. I'm stuck in a weird pool of emotions that I'm struggling to process," said Kristie Goforth, a member of the Sault Tribe of Chippewa Indians and candidate for Monona mayor. "I'm fighting the part of me that wants to say, 'here's a white person who's betraying us again, another white person that can't be trusted.' I don't want to group them all into a pool of people who can't be trusted, because that's just not the case. But that's how I feel right now a little bit, just because it's so raw."
Goforth said she considered LeClaire a friend, and was excited about the 28-year-old's prospects.
"I am a woman in my 50s. One of the reasons I was excited about seeing (them) come on the scene was this young (person), strong, bold and loud, really just pushing conversations forward. I really appreciated that," Goforth said. "I love to empower younger women. I think that's important that we do that in our community. I just really wanted to see ... them shine their light here and, and help move conversation and education forward. That's what's so hard. It's just such a gut punch."
Goforth said the white community in Madison is especially vulnerable to this kind of deception.
"There's this appetite in Madison to just really want (diversity) and want to believe it so badly," she said. "It's like a craving for it. We're craving culture here. And so then when someone like Kay comes forward, dressed as she did, and, you know, really being a loud voice for Native issues, it was fully consumed."
Suspicions raised
LeClaire graduated from Hamilton High School in Sussex, Wisconsin, where they were known as Katie Le Claire, in 2012 (despite later telling a Capital Times reporting intern that they were raised in Northern Wisconsin). They apparently attended the University of Wisconsin and in the summer of 2018 married fellow Hamilton alum Adam Pagenkopf, a research specialist at UW.
In a post on their now-deleted Facebook account during the wedding planning, LeClaire referred to themself as "a 20-something white woman." By 2019, however, they were identifying as Indigenous enough to cofound the giige collective with Landsem and several others.
Several members of Madison's Indigenous community who befriended or worked with LeClaire had small suspicions, but explained them away or gave LeClaire the benefit of the doubt.
"They claimed Métis (heritage)", said Landsem, who is a member of the Manitoba Métis Federation. "I knew they were not. They didn't know anything about being Métis. They told me incorrect things a lot. My assumption for the whole like last few years has been ... they're probably a disconnected descendant who has a complex about that. That's what I assumed because I was giving them the benefit of the doubt."
"I thought it was interesting how (they) often wore, it wasn't like full regalia, but (they were) often wearing furs and clearly Indigenous-made clothing and it was almost like flying a flag. 'Hi, I'm an indigenous woman.' You don't see that very often," Goforth said. "Really, I don't see that in my circles. I chalked that up to part of (their) role at the UW, bringing the exposure of culture forward, but now I look at it, and it was literally like a costume. It's just so painful."
Goforth also said LeClaire mistook a porcupine quill basket for a pine needle basket -- something Goforth said she wouldn't attribute to simply misspeaking. Rather, Goforth said she assumed LeClaire may have been somewhat distanced from their Indigenous heritage and was just now reconnecting.
"So much of our family records and our history is not available or it's been damaged. I just kind of chalked all of it up to that," Goforth said.
Landsem also noted LeClaire's frequent tanning, any mention of which Landsem said would bring accusations of colorism from LeClaire. Landsem said LeClaire used their high school senior photo as evidence that LeClaire's mother forced them to "bleach" their skin and hair.
"We know the harm that colonialism has done. We know how many people are disconnected or didn't grow up traditional," Landsem said. "They didn't grow up with the culture. We know how many people are like that out there, and we want them to come back. If you go to someone and you say, 'Hey, this is who I am, this is where I'm from,' they'll probably trust you ... I grew up really privileged, I'm Native, I know where my family's from. I didn't grow up on the rez. I didn't grow up in poverty. Who am I to question other people's experience of those things?"
Following the money
It's not yet known exactly how much money LeClaire made by claiming Indigenous heritage, but it's clear they worked their way into many institutions and exhibitions.
They were Community Leader in Residence at the University of Wisconsin School of Human Ecology Center for Design and Material Culture from March to December 2022, and were paid $4,876.56, which came from private giving and grants.
In a statement emailed to Madison365, the School of Human Ecology said LeLclaire had resigned their position on December 29.
"We are deeply concerned about allegations that a community member with whom we have partnered misrepresented their identity and engaged in disingenuous actions," the statement read. "There is a long and painful history of erasure and cultural appropriation in the U.S., which has had an immense impact on the lives of Indigenous people. These latest allegations are a disturbing reminder of how this persists today ... We greatly value our relationships with Native students, faculty, staff and community members in Wisconsin and across the nation. We strive to uplift others and make sure our school is a place where people of all backgrounds and identities know they belong. We remain steadfast in our commitment to creating educational pathways for Native students, faculty, staff and community members and invite feedback on meaningful ways to continue to support this commitment. As the layers of this situation unfold, we are committed to understanding and learning from it and fostering healing for all involved."
LeClaire provided a "jingle dress" to an exhibit at Overture Center, where patrons wrote thoughts and prayers onto small circles of fabric, which LeClaire then fashioned into the bells that adorn the traditional Ojibwe garment. However, LeClaire didn't make the dress; they commissioned it from a person who makes powwow regalia as a "rush order" just before the exhibit opened in September 2021.
The person who made the dress asked not to be identified, but said they didn't know that LeClaire had represented the dress as LeClaire's own creation until last week. The maker also said she declined to work with LeClaire on future orders because something seemed "off".
"We were shocked and disappointed by the evidence that an artist misrepresented themself and their work, and we plan to fully investigate the issue. Overture Center would never knowingly work with an artist that misrepresented their credentials or background. We are reaching out to the Indigenous community to apologize, and we also extend our apologies to the community as a whole," Overture Center representative Emily Gruenwald wrote in an email to Madison365. "While we are diligent in our efforts to research artists, it appears that this person went to great lengths to deceive Overture Center and ultimately our community. We will be contacting the person who made the dress to work with them to ensure they receive the proper credit and compensation for their work. We also will inform other performing arts centers about this situation so that it doesn't happen to other communities."
LeClaire also purchased birch baskets from a crafter who is not Indigenous, then apparently scratched that person's name off and replaced it with their own, according to photos provided by Landsem. Landsem said LeClaire gifted some of these baskets to friends; if they sold any, it could be a violation of the Indian Arts and Crafts Act of 1990.
LeClaire received a $300 stipend for contributing to the Collateral Damage exhibition in May 2022, organizers said.
LeClaire sold, or intended to sell, at least one deer leather bag to someone through Instagram, clearly indicating they would make the bag; however, the bags they advertised on social media were made by someone else.
"I don't blame any of the Native organizations that Kay works with," Landsem said. "We have all been blindsided and taken advantage of by a fraud. We're all hurting. And I think the larger community needs to take responsibility for how this was able to happen. I'm currently focused on keeping myself and my community safe from further harm by this person and by other institutions in Madison. I want accountability."
"A fight for our future"
It's unclear what, if any, legal ramifications may be in store for LeClaire. LeClaire has signed away their stake in giige, Landsem confirmed.
Community members want accountability one way or another.
"Kay needs to come back, take accountability, face up to what they did and make sincere apologies to every single person that they harmed, every nation that they claimed, their own mother for pretending that she was somebody other than who she is," Landsem said. "They need to accept the blame, apologize, pay reparations, do something to make it right."
"They are a human being, and it's clear they must need help," Goforth said. "I'm coming from a place of compassion. I cared for them. I hope they get the help they need."
"Everybody's still trying to piece together what they knew about their friend and fellow activist, fellow community member," Martin said. "I think it's gonna take a while. I'd rather it take a while, and we figure out how to do things in a good way, then rush to any kind of particular action if folks aren't ready."
AdvancedSmite, the New Age Fraud Forum user who uncovered the deception, said the appropriation of Native identity is a larger issue than any one person.
They noted that the self-identified Native American population grew by 85% between the 2010 and 2020 census, from just over five million to well over nine million.
"That's not population growth," they said. "It's a major issue. The government needs to ask if you are an enrolled member of a federally recognized tribe.
"You can't assume ... that Kay LeClaire is an isolated incident ... the pretendian problem is a long term, strategic issue," they wrote in a later email to Madison365, adding that people who falsely claim Indigenous heritage are then passing that false claim on to their children, who may unwittingly accept it, perpetuating a falsehood through generations. "It's a fight for our future and identity."
NOTE: This story has been corrected. Multiple sources told Madison365 that after the Overture Center exhibit, LeClaire donated the dress to the Helen Louise Allen Textile Collection at the UW School of Human Ecology. SOHE told us in an email Wednesday that isn't the case.
https://madison365.com/indigenous-arts-leader-activist-revealed-as-white/
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