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34
:stabler: - 56-Year-Old Roblox User Groomed By 68-Year-Old Roblox User - The Onion

>FAIRHOPE, ALβ€”Exploiting the popular online game platform for his own perverse ends, local Roblox user Rodney McKinney, 68, was accused of grooming 56-year-old Roblox user Walter Rhodes, sources confirmed Wednesday. "For the past several months, Mr. McKinney, a 68-year-old Roblox user, used the game as a means to foster an inappropriate relationship with an impressionable young 56-year-old that was sexual in nature," said officer Mike Cavazos, noting several obscene messages in which the baby boomer offered the much younger Gen X user Robux in exchange for lewd images of Rhodes' flabby, mature body. "It was clear from their correspondence that Mr. McKinney knew the victim was 56, as he stated in chats that he was 'old enough to be [Rhodes'] supervising manager.' And though he claimed that messages inviting the victim to move off Roblox to a more private LinkedIn chat were innocent, we believe otherwise." At press time, authorities claimed McKinney attempted to conceal his indiscretions by warning Rhodes not to "tell your mom, if she's still alive."

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9
Lil Putin' performs Still D.R.E ft. Snoop Dogg

@Salvadore_Ally !hibernians !swifties what are !the geopolitical implications of this?

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Reported by:
  • X : AI manipulation
41
!nonchuds

@QuadNarca

@Grue

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59
blaming women for every crash is insane - but it is valid.

this is the natural conclusion of diversity politics. when you elevate foids and every other demographic to positions on the basis they are foids or whatever else, people become less trustworthy.

was this woman a competent pilot? probably, but it doesn't matter - diversity politics ruined any respect she might have.

i've been reading a lot of sirpings blogs and learning a lot from him, and I think he might be a genius.

15
How do you take your coffee?

I have a nespresso machine and usually make a cappuccino at home. If I'm out I'll get a drip or a matcha.

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70
:marseymath: THANKS FOR MARSEY OF THE FRICKING YEAR, motherlover! :marseymath:

@McCoxmaul love all of you, motherlover! Even if you didn't vote for me, motherlover!

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85
BETS INSIDE The nominees for the 97th Academy Awards are out. :marseyprojection:

!kino and !poll_voters, who do you think should win? :marseykino:

!goombling !goomblers, who do you think will win? :marseyawardretard:

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:pouroneout40:

The Ancestor (and Academic from 2) was one of the greatest vocal performances of all time. I can't imagine a Darkest Dungeon without him. The Inhuman Bondage DLC for DD2 just came out, I think it's his last work.

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13
:marseysoldieramerica: :rape: :rape: :rape: :rape: :marseywhirlyhat:
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13
:redlight: GEORGE RR MARTIN ANNOUNCES RELEASE DATE FOR NEW BOOK!!!! :redlight:

Nope, just illustrated Feast for Crows :marseydarkxd:

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15
Sonder is a midwit trap

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1740245359IWRs_d_tmmsFKw.webp

The truth is that some, not all, of these so-called "other people" were put in this world to deceive you. Why? I don't know. But far fewer people than you think exist, actually exist.

Sonder is a midwit trap, where the midwit believes the most complex explanation because then he feels smart.

It's simpler than that.

You're under the delusion that every car carries those with "lives as vivid and complex as your own" --- why? There's absolutely zero proof of this. None.

"Sonder" is an artifact of a deluded mind, tricked by the world to believe in its boundlessness and complexity. Most of these "people" didn't exist before you saw them, and will cease to exist soon after. Anyone who tells you otherwise is off.

Eerily off.

There is something wrong with this world

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34
Tattoo practice update 4

Much better compared to the first marsey :3 :marseyembrace:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1738478349EmjY5uKt6MwhaQ.webp

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12
Mike and Jay Talk About The King Tide
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/u/ElderExecutioner she's right, you pathetic frick. Stop crying on groomercord. No female wants a pathetic kitty male.

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15
UNEXPECTED CPI rise (again)

Shockingly the CPI (customer prices index) has risen again to 3%, nobody in the country could've predicted this happening.

Of course, this doesn't mean much of anything when prices seem to be entirely arbitrary, as seen by this monstrosity

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1740073723y9tWe54OvNR8Vw.webp

Alongside non-existent wage growth

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1740073723h9BLUj5tdXIoLg.webp

Results entirely in the obvious choice to get out of this country as fast as I can. But the next vote will fix things surely. :marseyflaguk:

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Lurie Children's transgender patients, parents speak about toll of canceled surgeries

!nonchuds !cuteandinvalid !lgbt Total Trump Death

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17402309093KxefSZ21hrM4Q.webp

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Ok im done. These :marseysnappy: :marseyrobot: comments
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Do you find this attractive?

!coomers !2dgooners

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Reported by:

/r/McDonaldsEmployees is a subreddit for McDonald's employees to talk about their shared trials and tribulations and commiserate. :marseywagie:

One user, "euphoriaxlove720", :marseyfellowkids: posts a thread titled "(USA) I almost died in the freezer.":

https://old.reddit.com/r/McDonaldsEmployees/comments/1fo70r4/usa_i_almost_died_in_the_freezer/

I was on fryer and we had ran out of mc-crispies, and I went to the back to grab more and two freezers in, I got trapped. I was in there for about 20 minutes and I was crying and having a panic attack because I couldn't get out. I was gone until people noticed I wasn't back at the fryer and I tried banging on the door but there was no panic or emergency button. If it wasn't for one of my coworkers I would've died in the freezer. Everyone please be careful when going into the freezers and always have a device with you. I'm 17 and neurodivergent and I was all alone just waiting for someone to either find me, or waiting for death. The freezer there was a death trap and the only exit required a key which I didn't have. On average 60 people a year die from walk in freezer incidents. This needs more awareness. Because it's the most terrifying thing I've ever went through.

:#pepeautismtalking:

Many users are supportive of the OP at first, attributing this chilling experience :marseyrimshot: to a poor design. However, in typical Reddit fashion, the thread soon turns into a neckbeard McSlapfight over US building codes. :slapfight:

Desperate-Face-6954 asks:

There's no bell? In Australia walk in fridges and freezers have a bell on the outside of the door that works from the inside. The occupational health and safety inspectors would make a huge deal out of a bell not working, they save lives.

:#cunttalking:

FrostyCartographer13 responds:

In the US, all walk-in coolers or freezers are required to be openable from the inside, even while locked.

OP is either making up the story or didn't realize you can open the door with a slight push.

:#ackchyuallytalking:

BellOfTaco3285:

Just because they are required too doesn't mean they are, or the latch on the inside is broke. There are THOUSANDS of places in the US aren't up to code, you're insane to think that EVERY SINGLE walk in freezer is up to code, that's simply not the case. I've worked at multiple places with a walk in cooler, two of them didn't open from the inside. One didn't have a latch on the inside at all, the mechanism was broken off and they never bothered fixing it, so if you didn't prop it open then you'd get locked inside, there was even a sign on the front saying "If this door is open CHECK BEFORE CLOSING, IT COULD SAVE YOUR CO-WORKERS LIFE". the other had the latch to open it from the inside, but it was broken, it would work half the time, the other half you'd be stuck unless you propped the door. The one without a latch ended up getting fined and closed down when the code enforcement officer found out, but it goes to show that there are plenty of places that don't have their required stuff up to code.

:#marseywagietalking:

ChronicallyCurious8:

Ever hear OSHA? The fire department, the health department. You mean to tell me with all these departments that are running in and out of all these restaurants that they would let something like this go ? If this were true, this would be a huge violation and a huge fine.

By the way, why didn't the 17-year-old report this? I bet they didn't because it didn't happen.

Sorry, I've been called ignorant on here, but you people are the ones that are ignorant, not me

:#neckbeardtalking:

The OP replies:

I'm not making it up. There was a white plastic gear looking thing that said "you're not locked in" but I couldn't get it to open. This was so traumatizing for me and my coworker saved my life. I have no reason to make this up. I have autism and I struggle with instructions and I couldn't open the door I tried so hard and I eventually gave up…

:#pepeautismtalking:

The argument then shifts into one about whether the OP could sue for emotional distress and PTSD.

DatRussianHobo:

I'm pretty sure OP has a law suit that's easily winnable.

:#redditneckbeardtalking:

CringeLord5:

What are the damages? """Emotional distress""" while real probably won't win a case

:#classicsmugsnootalking:

anipie05:

Almost dying, no way to get out, faulty freezer door, emotional destress, etc. Several occupational health and safety violations as well

:#marseysaulgoodmantalking:

FuzzyChickenButt:

Almost """"dying""""" after less than 10 minutes being in there? How fricking dramatic

:#computerneckbeardtalking:

anipie05:

Could have been a bigger problem if the co worker wasn't there to let them out. Why are you in defense of big corporations? Either way it was an occupational safety hazard. Laws were broken.

:#marseysaulgoodmantalking:

FuzzyChickenButt:

I'm not defending corporations, brains. One look at their profile & you can see they have issues

:#computerneckbeardtalking:

In a separate shitshow, the OP is accused of basing his entire personality on the fact that he's neurodivergent.

Final-Garden asks:

What was the point of mentioning you're neurodivergent

:#marseynouautismtalking:

FNC-Jman:

A lot of people for whatever reason like to make their illness/disability their whole personality. I can speak from experience because I've seen it firsthand.

:#marseysmugautisttalking:

psychedelic666:

It can lead to increased anxiety in situations like that, it's not a personality it's a medical condition

:#ashbiemoon2talking:

Tension increases as the OP faces more and more accusations of making his story up. :ilied:

ChronicallyCurious8:

This is a made up story. There are laws in place for preventing someone from being " trapped " in a walk in cooler FFS.. Over the years I've worked in several different McDonald's units in the state I live in. Not once have I ever seen a walk in cooler that you can't get out of immediately.. My family also owned private restaurants where the walk-in cooler has a push button mechanism on the door inside the Walk-in cooler.

Sorry OP, but you need to really up your game about your stories .

This couldn't have possibly happened in the US .

This would be a.SERIOUS violation of huge proportions if it were true.

Maybe a 17 year year old you don't realize that these restaurants are inspected EVERY 6-12 months by the health department, ( among other types of inspections county & state wide ) and a violation like you're reporting just never happened.

Edited

:#neckbeardtalking:

thisisntmynametoday:

Monthly health inspections? Where do you live? Not every municipality or county is diligent at inspections.

In Massachusetts we are lucky to get two inspections a year.

And I worked a place that the inside release for the walk in broke one day.

:#marseysourgrapestalking:

ChronicallyCurious8:

It's edited. Ppl do make mistakes. Yes even when they proofread.

If truth be known you're more upset because OP mentioned autism. Sorry but if autism affects OP that bad maybe Mickey D's isn't for them.

I'm sure the manager knew OP how much is it most likely due to the fact that OP made sure everyone knew that in the comments here.

:#neckbeardtalking:

thisisntmynametoday:

I said nothing about autism?

I called BS on your assertion that every walk in freezer in the US is up to code. I've worked at a place that wasn't, and I got caught in the walk in when the latching mechanism broke.

It didn't have a panic button, or a release button.

Thankfully my boss and I were cleaning out the freezer together and he heard me throwing my shoulder into the door.

Stop telling people their experiences aren't real, random internet commenter.

:#marseysourgrapestalking:

ChronicallyCurious8:

I didn't say you did.

Do you know an opinion page is? Apparently not.. We all have opinions if you don't like mine, I'm sorry .

Have the day you deserve

:#neckbeardtalking:

Elsewhere, Redditors debate whether one can call 911 without a signal or inside a walk-in freezer. :marseyfrozen:

imnotgunertellyou:

I'm surprised you didn't have your phone on you to call for help. Glad to hear you're ok!

:#nicetalking:

FakeMikeMorgan:

Depending on how the walk In is designed, a cell phone may not get a signal from inside.

:#marseynerd3talking:

apaw1129:

You can always reach 911, even without signal or service.

:#brainletchesttalking:

ExqueeriencedLesbian:

not true at all, you definitely need signal

:#smugtranstwittertalking:

apaw1129:

False. You can dial 911 even without signal or an active service. Research it.

:#brainletchesttalking:

Aurora-314:

Definitely not possible, you literally can't make calls without a signal. That's why satellite phones/ devices are needed for emergencies if travelling in remote areas with no signal.

:#femjaktalking:

apaw1129:

Google

:#brainletchesttalking:

Aurora-314:

It says it can use other providers if your provider doesn't have a signal. Or if the network is busy it will drop other calls to let yours through. And if the signal is too weak for a call a text might get though.

But that doesn't mean you can call when there is literally no signal. Where do you think the radio waves from your phone can go when you are in the middle of the desert and there are no cell towers nearby? Or if there is a thick metal freezer wall literally blocking them?

:#femjaktalking:

Internationalthief:

They must think cell phones transmit power of friendship waves.

:#derpsmugtalking:

FrostyCartographer13 creates more McBeef when he responds to the OP's "I'm not making it up" comment and suggests that, ackchyually, it was just a prank, bro:

I don't care if you got autism and the reason why I want to assume you are making it up a story i give the details on how the door works.

The doors are larger than the doorway itself. They actually set in a resses in the freezer entrance so the gaskets can make a seal. There are no latches that hold the door closed. The only mechanisms for the door closing are the spring hinges and the door assist.

The door assist helps hold the door in the closed position and helps when opening the door.

If the events did happen to you, I will provide you with a possible alternative as to why.

You were the victim of a prank.

Someone (probably the person who let you out) followed you when you went to get the product.

They held the door closed so you couldn't get it open right away and waited for you to start to panic.

After they get their laugh at making you panic, they let you out.

You were most likely in there a total of 5 minutes, not 20. While under duress, such as panicking, a person's sense of time becomes dilated.

You were probably freaking freaking the frick out since you thought you were trapped. Those minutes probably felt like forever.

:#ackchyuallytalking:

BellOfTaco3258:

I'm so glad you think you have the ability, knowledge, or right to say what their experience was, were you there? No? Cool, your opinion is invalid.

:#marseywagietalking:

FrostyCartographer13:

What is the more likely of the scenarios?

Out of the dozens of times, the door is opened each day, that it would not open once, then return to operating as normal without a discernable cause?

Or

That OP is the victim of the shitty "trapped in the freezer" prank that has existed since before I ever worked and didn't realize it?

:#ackchyuallytalking:

BellOfTaco3258:

OPs story is more likely. You want to create a narrative with zero evidence of actual being there.

:#marseywagietalking:

FrostyCartographer13:

And OP is making an assertion with no evidence.

Thus, I am allowed to dismiss and offer a more plausible explanation without the need for evidence.

:#ackchyuallytalking:

BellOfTaco3258

The evidence is their experience… keep thinking you know everything! Glad you know all of the facts of the incident and were there to see exactly what happened…. oh wait.

"I don't believe OPs story so I can say what I want without evidence of what actually happened, nor was I there to see the actual event, but I don't need to! I'm always right". I'd hate to be around you in person.

:#marseywagietalking:

Their bickering continues further, of course:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17279114826318786.webp

There is, it goes without saying, loads more slapfighting in this thread, which, as of this post, has no less than 963 comments. :marseylongpost: The entire thread is a massive dumpster fire. :marseyflamewar: Here are just a few more highlights:

TehFlogger, responding to Desperate-Face-6954:

It's not their fault. Darwinism just didn't take their parents out first. It'll solve itself.

:#smugsnootalking:

boymeatcafe, responding to Us_Strike:

unrelated but is your pfp willy wonka from tom and jerry: willy wonka and the chocolate factory

:#marseygroomertalking:

This_is_Me888:

Annnnd that's why I had to pull forward and wait for my food.

:#carlostalking:

Kris_toast:

Just put my fries in the bag bro

:#marseystingtalking:

damiandarko2:

what does being 17 and neurodivergent have to do with this πŸ˜‚

:#zoomersoytalking:

FurbyCultist93:

This happened to an Arby's employee fairly recently. They didn't make it.

:#riptalking:

Captndabberz:

Doesn't relate to the post but looking at your account OP I think you need a lot of help, I hope you the best and am glad you are ok tho

:#marseytherapisttalking:

somecow:

ALL freezers can be opened from the inside. Some sort of latch, knob, button, etc.

Do yourself a favor and stay out of there if you can't figure it out.

:#smugwojaktalking:

stubrador:

I believe this to be largely embellished

:#fancywithwinetalking:

Teamorange0:

Lol to this entire post. I've worked in food service for 30 yrs and unless there's some sort of catastrophic damage to the door, there's no problem. Let alone the ability to bust your way out of needed.

:#marseylifelosertalking:

scottishguyhere:

Someone would have found you all mc crispy and cold

:#euromutttalking:

Retro-Lit-Coach:

I have a feeling either A) You just didn't push hard enough on the door or B) This is a fabricated story because it's literally illegal for them to have a door like that

:#soysmugtalking:

Ninja2ZERO:

This person has a weird profile.

:#marseyderptalking:

Signal-Note-8280:

You weren't trapped.....you were Mctrapped

:#boomertalking:

ImportancePrudent136:

bruh. womp womp.

:#fellowkidstalking:

MustHav3BeenTheWind:

I swear tho, them freezers are cold asf

:#derpcornsyruptalking:

PrestigiousLife8831:

Sounds like you were 20 minutes short of a major pay day

:#nelsonhahatalking:

Defiant_Good9427:

LOL gtfoh this is satire right ?

:#smugjaktalking:

OleDirtyChineseJoint:

20 minutes and you thought you were dying? Good grief. Kids these days. We used to take a bong in there and hide

:#platyoldtalking:

National-Entrance-94:

Why are people saying OP is lying? There are actual cases like this where people did stay trapped in freezers & died?!

:#marseywhirlyhattalking:

jorand19 gets a response from the OP regarding autism:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17279114828661907.webp

So does Otherwise_Rip_7337 when he accuses the OP's story of being false, starting an extended argument with the OP that you can see for yourself if you feel so inclined.

In conclusion, the ultimate lesson here is this: regardless of what your post is, someone will always find some way to tell you that you're wrong. Especially on Le Rebbit. :soysnootypefast:

!neurodivergents !effortposters

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:marseytheyhaterhermessage:

					
					
					
	

				
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Reported by:
14
The hate that Starfield got was completely unfair and inorganic

At launch, Starfield was celebrated but it didn't take long before a hate campaign began against it and people started posting tons of negative reviews of the game. They complained about ridiculous things like the lack of vehicles (plenty of games don't have vehicles), and the lack of things to do (this is false, there is plenty to do).

The truth is that people had unrealistic standards. They wanted 1000 individually crafted planets and when they realised they were procedurally generated, people lost their shit without realising what an immense undertaking they were asking for. Starfield manages to provide a good variety of games and exploration always rewards you with amazing sights and plenty of opportunities to take photos. At the end of the day, Starfield provides more content than 99% of games out there. It is better than No Man's Sky @BILLYBIGBOLLOCKS. How you can you visit places like Neon and Akila and complain that the game is empty? There are so many settlements with an incomprehensible amount of content. There is also a host of lifeforms to discover and they all behave differently, making it exciting to explore the wild parts of planets.

People complain that many of the missions are fetch quests, but they fail to understand that much of the fun of the game comes from the journey. Traveling to different places, speaking to different characters and discovering new things is exciting, and fetch quests expose you to new content.

What I find strange is that people complain about the writing and the story. This is the best writing in a game recent. It's so fun talking to different characters because they all feel so different and they have varied motivations. I can't wait to meet new characters and it's exciting to pick what I'm going to say to them. I enjoy the persuasion situations where you have to pick the right thing to say to convince a character to do something. These are high stakes situations and I don't save scum so I deal with the consequences of my actions.

I will admit that the game is not perfect and there are some flaws. For example, there are a lot of loading screens. Secondly, 60fps mode isn't particularly stable. However, none of these shortcomings tarnish the game in a major way. Furthermore, Bethesda has listened to fans and updated the game to give players plenty of the features they have been asking for, making the game even better than it was at launch. That is a beautiful thing to do, and not many developers would do that. Thank you Todd Howard.

The hate campaign against Starfield was started by CHUDS who were mad that there weren't many conventionally attractive women in the game. You could see it on /v/, and it eventually spread to Reddit where chuds latched onto the narrative.

https://old.reddit.com/r/Starfield/comments/16c0z6n/why_are_all_the_girls_ugly/

https://old.reddit.com/r/Starfield/comments/16g935o/why_are_the_npcs_so_darn_ugly/

Of course, this discourse spread to Steam where a bunch of reviews started complaining about ugly NPCs. You can tell its chuds writing these because they use terms like "woke".

https://steamcommunity.com/app/1716740/discussions/0/4035850502436992213/

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1737212914jf8iIh_dfvwt5g.webp

From here, it became easy to just call the whole game "woke" and the kinds of criticisms that came from this were ridiculous. People were mad that you could choose they/them pronouns!

https://steamcommunity.com/app/1716740/discussions/0/3824173464657206483/

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17372129141UT0BbLQsItKOQ.webp

So with all this needless hate gathering around Starfield, it became a hot topic in the culture wars which led to the torrent of bad reviews. That is why there is a negative perception of the game. However, for those of us who know what the game is trying to be and are playing it with a pure heart, we recognise that Bethesda has bestowed a masterpiece upon us. This is a beautiful game with so many twists and turns. It's innovative, unorthodox, yet so effortlessly fun.

I'm feeling quite sad right now because @ToeBeans ignored me cruelly and I don't know what I did to her to deserve this treatment. However, I'm about to play Starfield and it's going to make me feel much better. I might not have true friends online, but when I'm playing Starfield, Sarah Morgan and Sam Coe are my best buddies and they'll never desert me. Here are some of my favorite screenshots from the game. Looking at them helps me feel better.

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1737212914BxJNlaH9g--5EA.webp

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1737212915qH_r_1CNJBYu9Q.webp

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91
This one caused a bit of seethe.

https://instagram.com/reel/DEXvavYI87y/

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None
Reported by:
  • FreedomforChristmas : There is no hate speech except against vanilla gorillas
  • DickButtKiss : I'M GAY AND MY PEEPEE IS SMALL - trans lives matter (trans lives splatter)
  • 0BS : gay
  • DoveMenCare : Thisis a safe space for people experiencing inceldom, bigot :marseyindignant:
120
Why is there so.much hate speech here? Is there no moderation?

Someone DMd me on Reddit that one of my posts was being discussed at this site I had never heard of so naturally I had to check it out. Immediately I am bombarded with racism and all kind of fricked up hate. Are the admins asleep? How is this allowed? Even /r/thedonald never had this much hate.

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