i'm at my big firm corporate girlboss job and one of my coworkers said something about grad school - i missed a deadline last month, guess that's a sore spot for me - and i just started crying. tried to hold it in but all i managed were tears silently sliding down my face. had to slip out after a minute when it didn't stop.

literally been slinking around the office and hiding in the bathroom for an hour trying to stop crying. once, i thought i was in the clear, but when i put my hand on the doorknob to the meeting room it started up again.

i'm so annoyed because i'm a totally competent person otherwise. i'm not even really ""emotional"", like i stay pretty girlboss professional eloquent deadpan all the time - which makes it even worse when i turn into a blubbery red-eyed swollen-faced mess.

all my life i've been someone who cries at the drop of a hat - in elementary school, during ballet class, at parties, etc etc. one of my exes would get so mad at me when i cried and accuse me of doing it to derail whatever stupid fight we were having and make him feel bad. i kept swearing i wasn't doing it on purpose and i tried my best not to cry but he never believed me. i do try!! i hate crying. it's embarrassing and it's a waste of my time. i'm missing an important meeting right now :( i have to go collect my laptop that's been sitting there abandoned. what do i even say? nothing? say my tummy was upset?

Good lord this woman is a MESS. Someone casually mentioned grad school and it caused her to cry for the rest of the fricking day.

Kill all scotts

recently I read a whore justify herself with evolution, and learned that the peepee displaces other men's c*m because we're born for free love. We're whores at heart, every womyn was a frick machine until fundies put us everywhere in chains.

This is based on a few studies, here's one

Results obtained by modifying an artificial peepee suggest that the coronal ridge is an important morphological feature mediating semen displacement...

basically they made fleshlights and tested how well the plastic peepee removed semen from the tube. that's the kind of hands-on science we know and love

but think about it, does semen really stay in there long enough that "displacing" after has a huge advantage? Certainly it's useful, but how much? insemination happens pretty quickly so the lingering sperm probably isn't going to inseminate her if the ejaculation didn't. And even then the rest is fully removed in five days. So either everyone was having Aella gangbangs, the returns are diminishing, or perhaps there's an alternative explanation.

The ones I found were "Structural Integrity" and "Pleiotropy" but those are anti-climactic

With the help of my friends, I've erected a fourth, and final, theory.

The blood plunger

BLOOD is a bigger barrier to insemination than sperm I think. Since we've not always had lovey-dovey foreplay for some enjoyable, LUBRICATED s*x, I imagine vaginal trauma was more common. I.e.

After all, what big "sexual ingredient" isn't necessary at all for impregnation?

That's right, the female orgasm.

Now look, I'm not exactly happy with this conclusion, I'm not an incel I have female friends, r*pe is bad.

But I do believe I'm onto something here for a PURELY MECHANICAL QUESTION without any ethical extensions.

A question posed and answered in the spirit of Die fröhliche Wissenschaft

In short, the blood produced during s*x would prevent or severely inhibit insemination, and the peepee plunges it out.

Have I convinced you?

Now I'm not a scientist, but I do know the contact information for the real scientists who've published the original studies, and I drafted the following:

I honestly just want to bounce this idea off you guys and get some help with the draft. how well would an academic receive this

I love @realDonaldTrump as much as a straight man can love another man

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) February 7, 2025

Happening Now—President Trump has revoked Joe Biden’s Security Clearances… pic.twitter.com/x6fw1ROOlP

— Dan Scavino (@Scavino47) February 7, 2025

>foreign criminals going to a military prison is heckon' le fascism

https://old.reddit.com/r/news/comments/1ihp5of/military_flights_carrying_detained_migrants_to/

@Hattie dozens of times an hour, til this week

@Hattie today

Context: jeet threatened to baitop /r/fednews, seethe central

Muh cancer they might fire me m-muh pension park rangers are vital to dark maga

range in heck commie

!metashit !nooticers

https://old.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/1igo8ik/alexandria_ocasiocortez_sounds_five_alarm_fire/

yt "people" suddenly support the death penalty

https://old.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/1igpebj/been_a_while_since_we_have_had_an_execution_for/

https://old.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1i964km/deadmau5_calls_out_fellow_dj_3lau_for_playing/

https://old.reddit.com/r/EDM/comments/1i93m83/deadmau5_going_straight_for_3laus_jugular/

bodied him lmao deadmau5 is the goat pic.twitter.com/1ng2mS4guS

— not not chet (top secret) (@notnotchet) January 24, 2025

You have to really frick up to get me to agree with deadmau5. pic.twitter.com/d0KffsEGXT

— Festinaut🚀 (@festinaut) January 24, 2025

Deadmau5 is the fricking GOAT pic.twitter.com/wz4NkqcOLb

— Brayde(⚬⃔⚬ℕ⚬⃔⚬) (@BraydenVera) January 24, 2025

PMC_GENEI_RYODAN STANDS WITH ISRAEL

The new Starbucks CEO announced that Starbucks isn't a free hangout space anymore. That means you can only be in a Starbucks if you pay for something. This stops homeless people from living in a Starbucks and getting:

• Free water

• Free restrooms

• Free all-day hangout space

A common complaint on /r/starbucksbaristas is that the staff are tired of having to deal with homeless people - they spend all day in the stores, lock themselves in the bathroom for hours at a time while shooting up, and they often have to call the police. For example:

we STILL get annoying incidents, because our DM told us we cannot deny the bathroom to anyone unless in extreme situations. so even when a homeless person wants the restroom, we have to let them in, and most of them take anywhere from 40 mins to an hour in the restroom and it's our only restroom. so partners AND other customers are stuck waiting. we've had to call the police multiple times because they refuse to come out or are doing hard drugs inside. someone has left needles in there before. it's a weird situation.

So you'd assume that there would be unanimous happiness at this news? You're wrong! The thread is 99% against this change.

water is a human right and the private company that I work for must supply it for free!

The third place is a concept for paying customers, it's not a social club for the homeless.

Banning homeless people from keeping pets is the right option here.

I'm not going to sit in a Starbucks if there's a in the corner.

I'm waiting for the lawsuits!

lol no it's about making Starbucks a decent place to be a customer again.

I'd give anything to not be shadowbanned on /r/starbucksbaristas anymore. These guys piss me off so much.

Thanks I'm just trying to get brunch tomorrow

YASSSS QUEEEN let me reiterate that abortions hurt but I have no regrets and fully support them

This guy is suggesting buying bricks and hurling them at Catholics. Based or nah?

https://www.lowes.com/pd/8-in-x-4-in-Clay-Red-Cored-Standard-Brick/5013595093

https://old.reddit.com/r/sanfrancisco/comments/1i8z4bc/beware_anti_abortion_folks_marching_from_civic/m8y5ik0/?context=8

"Hand them glasses of chunky milk" huh?

Based? Finally someone pointed out Latinx are the dominant Catholic community. What does it mean, though? Will they connect the deportations with the pro-life latinx demographic?

AHHHHHH unironically gross and if you don't know they're talking about throwing a menstruation cup

Much better compared to the first marsey :3

no really, it bothers me but not like it does some people

i have my excuses (my spine is deteriorating haha) but it is what it is

worst part imo is how far ive come. i used to be a pure antisocial shut in, but it took until my mid 20s to become social. people seem to view me as charismatic now.

im going to ask a girl out soon. ive been on a few dates but its been way too long. i have no money and no car (of my own) so frick it why not.

but there's plenty of things in life that make me happy. my r-slurred cat is sitting on me and i love her so much, but shes making my legs way too hot, but i love her so ill endure it until i cant and then tell her i love her

of course i kinda wanna die but thats more due to the constant crippling pain. lol

its like 3am and i kinda want to kiss my self right now. haha

is it genuinely over? AMA, talk shit, give advice, manifest destiny, idc, i clearly just need attention. i just want to hold someone in my arms thst genuinely wants to be there with me. xD

https://old.reddit.com/r/anime_titties/comments/1ielb62/emily_damari_freed_britishisraeli_hostage_tells/

https://old.reddit.com/r/UnitedNations/comments/1iel7gd/emily_damari_held_in_unrwa_facilities_denied/

https://old.reddit.com/r/UnitedNations/comments/1ieg9du/british_hostage_emily_damari_says_she_was_held_in/

https://old.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/1iei7d2/emily_damari_an_israeli_hostage_for_a_year_and_a

https://old.reddit.com/r/UnitedNations/comments/1ieohco/the_reason_the_palestinian_problem_persists_is/

https://old.reddit.com/r/Global_News_Hub/comments/1ie2hqu/palestinian_fear_and_israeli_celebrations_as/

https://old.reddit.com/r/jewishleft/comments/1iekjsh/emily_damaris_mom_emily_was_held_in_unrwa/

https://old.reddit.com/r/fight_disinformation/comments/1ie3std/israeli_hostages_that_have_spoken_out_so_far/

BREAKING: Tesla now provides a discount of up to 10% on Tesla Insurance for customers who frequently use FSD (Supervised)

"The more you drive with FSD (Supervised) enabled, the bigger the discount is on your insurance premium." This new policy is currently only for Tesla… pic.twitter.com/Fjh0GT2fCB

— Sawyer Merritt (@SawyerMerritt) February 2, 2025

This totally won't backfire lol

https://www.tesla.com/support/insurance/fsd-discount#available

Related discussion:

https://www.cybertruckownersclub.com/forum/threads/tesla-insurance-now-offering-10-discount-for-owners-who-use-fsd-for-50-or-more-of-driving-miles.35591/

Starting now, the more you use FSD the less you’ll pay for Tesla Insurance.

Essentially Tesla is covering part of the cost of insurance when you use FSD https://t.co/Q7QT07PZkf

— Whole Mars Catalog (@WholeMarsBlog) February 2, 2025