Henlo freinds! Here is the second part of my fanfiction of lappland being raped behind a dumpster

!rapists can you please upvote and rate five starts and comment4comment!

It's okay. The love I had faded once we had our fun together. I don't like lying. Dishonesty is just something I can't support. I should've looked a little more, I'd have found your secret. But you can't trust the people you love. You were just wearing a mask, all the greetings and talking about your day wasn't real. The hair, the face, the chest, everything two-faced and a lie. I thought your face was wide open but it was all closed up and hidden so I had to make a scar in it, a mark of where it should've been split.

I was in my car, far part of the lot sitting in the darkness, I was late. Felt sorry. Clients always want specific times so I couldn't help it. Didn't even get to eat. I was famished. Then I saw you.

YOU. Walking outside with a ten gallon bag with the normal sway of your supple and tight hips being suppressed by your struggle, turned into a slow backwards drag of the black mass along the rocky asphalt. I felt anger at an angel from above getting filthy filling a dumpster. Anger seeing your pretty hands handle the sticky residue, anger at how you swing with the full weight of the bag to try getting it airborne.

And God you were in that dark area trying to fit them in the compactor, finally picking them up like an atlas stone of rubbish to the chest and caressing its bottom to get over the edge. I remembered though, the words "Sorry I'm not wanting one" go through my head over and over.

I opened my door and slithered out, slow to close it.

I thought we were similar. You  seemed lonely, never talkative. Even at those little events but I was wrong. Lie after lie after lie. You never told me why either. I can guess, not everyone is a model but it'd be nicer if you were direct. Didn't hide it, just say what you mean. I've dealt with worse.

You didn't notice, I wonder how you would have acted if you saw it coming, would you have smiled? Would it have been genuine or a feign for your discomfort, another mask you slip onto a mask already on a mask. Maybe you weren't so happy because you didn't know it was me at first but seeing me would have made you happy, that you wanted it real bad but were shy and this was a nice place.

Wanting it rough with a push into the compactor and a rag right against your mouth as my other arm felt along your body, tracing with my hand along your elegant thin hips and grabbing along. A bit of the thin thighs, some more of the hip and some playful squeezes of your pert ass.

I heard your groans and little cries as I circled my finger around your inner thigh, drawing circles and shell spirals in its dry sands.

But when I squeezed you down there, grabbing along your crouch I didn't feel any firmness. Nothing. The beach was wet and it was smooth along that mound. You kept squirming and shaking and crying and more while I felt myself go blank.

I was the fool.

You made me so.

I grappled at your belt while you still kept shaking like a wet dog until I managed to free your pants from their constraint and further your panties. White boxer looking ones and I kept until finally your ass glistened under the moon. I could feel the tears of your face mimic my soul as I felt from your stomach down again, the smooth curve and the slight wetness of your slit. You could feel as I moved away from you, I died down quick.

You were a girl.

I said that and you tensed a bit, let the rag a little loose to let you speak. More cries and asking me not to hurt you in little whispers but you danced around it and rubbed me like a kitten for attention.

I gently brought you down as you finally knew your role in our dance.

You have me a burbling yesh and some more streamed tears as you let yourself be gently led down near the metal beast with me atop. My knee was hitting your crouch from how I knelt over you, my arm holding down yours.

But seeing you sprawled around, your legs moving and shifting under my weight as they still refused to concede, wrapping around and loosening my legs like you were trying to simultaneously pull me in and flee. I pinned you with just one arm and used the other to prepare us both. It wasn't long, they were quick thrusts and I felt your wet, sticky face with that hand, trying to caress your cheek. Your little cries turned to silence by the end of the first minute. After the tenth you looked sort of dead, at least inside, eyes halfway open looking glazy like a doped fish, puffy from the tears. I didn't see the need to bring protection with me since normally I don't need them, you're not my type. This real you isn't my type, at least. You're so thin with your ribs sticking out that I thought I could see it poke from the stomach. Being that thin means it should be safe for you. I overheard that it makes your type have period issues. I think it's safe. You never leave home now so I don't know. I started to get up, leaving, letting you hit the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

I wuz writing the second part and learn that Lappland is NOT BOY

and i dont want to write GIRL rape but I NEED TO FINISH

I thought maybe I have Lappland get her head beaten in with rock and disfigyured and bleeding

but its called rape not justice

so i made it quikc. it be more epic but you are not a man

dis is in lit because lit cause this is pretty skibidi lit

why is the words purple WTF

!cuteandinvalid !chasers

Top Drama

Relative Drama (takes into account the size of the subreddit)

autodrama: returning jobs to dramneurodivergents. Ping HeyMoon if there are any problems or you have a suggestion

I will frick up anybody who downmarseys this. "Frick up" as in you would become the first person on my shitlist ever.

Serious post I got a foid being difficult with me. Apparently I can't read her mind over transcontintel disastances. The only woman I ever loved since before I came to this /r/drama shithole.

!biofoids I love you all but I hold you personally responsible for this situation. (Not even joking I tried to call up one of my best contacts in the country (if you can't guess which one yet you're not paying enough attention.) It's the country I actually care about, because that's where the family I care about live. I would at that name but it's the most prominent trading city in Greece and I think literally 99% of r-slurs here won't get it. I gave you a million clues. Let's just say when I play Jeopardy against my dad it's a challenge. The tard crowd around here who are cumming over themselves becauise they beat Trump or Kamala Harris.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

!bookworms !kino !ringbearers check this amazing show

OMG! Elrond is just like !

AND THEY HAVE GANDALF AND RADAGAST OR IS IT TOM BOMBADIL?

SO #EXCITED TO SEE WHAT GIRLBOSS GALADRIEL WILL DO!

https://old.reddit.com/r/television/comments/1ecvbus/the_lord_of_the_rings_the_rings_of_power_season_2/

Looks incredible, but looks weren't the first season's problem

Nearly three years ago @SomeGayFurry wrote Schizoid does meth and posts 100,000 words about how video game characters talk about a schizo Redditor who's interested in analysing patterns in pop culture.

What's interesting about /u/Smack-works is that Redditors fricking love his gigantic nonsensical essays and tell him things like:

Mate you should get this published in an academic journal

and

First of all I just love the energy inherent in an undertaking like this. Your post is massive, and...

and

this is the most intensely organized, well-thought-out and compelling tolkien post i have ever seen.

and

This feels like one of those academic efforts that's just so self-defining that it's basically irrefutable. I think this is an example of humans being good at finding signal in noise.

and

This post is so brilliant, it deserves more attention.

This is a good example of how dumb Redditors truly are - they believe that because a post is long and looks complicated then it must be very intelligent and automatically correct. /u/poppinkream syndrome (he's working overtime at the moment btw. He disappeared for months but now it's election season so he's spewing his gigantic sourced anti-Trump essays far and wide. Don't forget that he's Canadian).

Anyway back to /u/Smack-works. I'll not quote any of his posts, you just need to click and read the tens of thousands of words of absolute nonsense that he's written and then check the comments to see all of the compliments thrown his way. Some choice posts:

• Hades: speech patterns of all characters analysis +544 on /r/HadesTheGame

• The Lord of the Rings books dialogue patterns of 28 characters +388 on /r/tolkienfans - he loves "dialogue patterns of n characters" posting and there are a lot in his post history, covering subjects such as Doctor Who, The Batman and Pirates of the Caribbean.

• Frozen chars dialogue patterns +33 on /r/Frozen - for some reason he sees a lot in common between Harry Potter's Snape and Frozen's Elsa and discusses them in multiple other posts including Uniqueness of Harry, Hermione and Snape

⚡️🇺🇦"Arestovich recorded a video in which he announced the complete collapse of the Ukrainian energy system for 2-3 Russian missile strikes. Now Ukraine still has a nuclear power plant and an energy bridge with Europe. But Russia can destroy all this with two or three missile… pic.twitter.com/QtcklKtwoE

— SIMPLICIUS Ѱ (@simpatico771) July 28, 2024

https://www.economist.com/europe/2024/07/15/half-ukraines-power-is-knocked-out-winter-is-coming

Maxim Timchenko, ceo of dtek, which runs most of Ukraine's non-nuclear power plants, including the one The Economist visited, says that 90% of their generating capacity has been destroyed this year.

I am pretty sure Israel helped this event to happen.

Waves of attacks since March have targeted thermal and hydro plants as well as, for the first time, solar-energy installations. As Russia struggles to make any serious gains on the battlefield, power lines have become the new front line.

Because it's pretty clear patriot and etc weren't that much of problem since Ukraine now has (had this year) a lot more of those yet failing to protect Kiev and to send Kharkov to black out Russia can do it with just artillery.

Pretty much all that is left comes from nuclear power stations, which the Russians have refrained from attacking.

So arestovitch wasn't bshiting

Ukraine currently imports 1.7gw from the eu; this could be increased to around 2gw or so, according to more optimistic predictions, but transmission constraints mean imported electricity cannot provide more than an incremental boost.

The problem with this is Ukraine don't want to transit Russia oil to Slovakia and Hungary without getting bigger customs

So kinda giga low iq that Zelenskyy wants to do a revenge on Orban for suggesting to him peace with Russia and by doing it Ukraine also damage it self since 50% of electricity comes from Hungary. Such action will stop Hungarian export and increase EU electricity price making for Ukraine not only harder but also a lot more expensive to buy electricity from EU.

Ukrainian engineers are scouring Europe for second-hand equipment from decommissioned Soviet-type power stations.

Amazing decommunisation

Ukrainian energy analysts are not convinced. "They are spending money on something we don't need," says Volodymyr Omelchenko at the Razumkov Centre, a think-tank. "It's a very bad decision in my opinion. It looks like a way to tie up a lot of money in investing in a project over ten years."

The chances that Russia will blow rest is tho low since they are keeping Ukrainian electricity that it's just enough for civilians but not for factories

https://twitter.com/LexyTopping/status/1817485636300861570

Steven van de Velde, the Dutch beach volleyball player who served time in prison for having s*x with a 12-year-old girl, received a mixture of boos and applause when he was introduced before losing his opening match on Sunday at the Paris Olympics.

Dutch team spokesman John van Vliet said the decision to shelter Van de Velde was made by the national Olympic committee and shared with the International Olympic Committee. Asked if they were protecting a convicted child male feminist, he said: "We are protecting a convicted child male feminist to do his sport as best as possible and for a tournament which he qualified for."

!lgbt !cuteandvalid Why are the straggots at the Dutch Olympic Committee supporting this guy? Don't they have any non-p-do men they could send to the Olympics? Are the IOC trying to normalise this?

!bharatiya WELCOME TO THE CLUB

Orange Site discussion

If this doesn't prove American heritage amounts to a obese brown person twerking inside a fast food restaurant idk what does !chuds

: I'll explain what Colonel Sanders has to do with any of this, you scurvy landlubber! He has everything to do with it, because without him there'd be no KFC, and without KFC there'd be no fried chicken, and without fried chicken there'd be no reason for me to be a pirate! So you best be thankful to the good Colonel, or I'll make you walk the plank!

— @goodNews4U

Today's RWBYffortpost is on a legendary goyslop patron saint, somewhat unique among fast food mascots in that he was a real person and also the legitimate founder of the company

But did he actually serve in the military to be called a Colonel? How did he start KFC? And did you know he was actually involved in lawsuits against his very own company later in life?

I wasn't sure about writing an effortpost about a person without it becoming indistinguishable from a regular old encyclopedia entry, so I've decided to prototype a model in which properly dramatic facts about the person are listed off in rough order of date. Such a system should show that the people featured in my posts lived suitably dramatic lives worthy of this website

Learn about the above points and more as we explore the subject of my first such biographical effortpost: none other than Colonel Sanders

Since I couldn't find many rDrama comments that were actually informative about Colonel Sanders and KFC, most of the quotes are here because I thought they were funny

Early Life

I've heard that women can't remember giving birth because it was so traumatic.

I've taken shits like that after kfc and morphine

— @ReeTardyOswald and @WayOut

Harland David Sanders was born on September 9, 1890 east of Henryville, Indiana. He was the oldest of three kids and lost his father at the age of five. From then on he was taught to handle the family cooking while his mother worked and by the age of seven he was learning to cook with meat

And so began the legend

(To the right is the future Colonel Sanders at chicken-seasoning age. Start your kids early )

I saw a native lady come back to KFC and yell at the staff that they served her raw chicken and that her kid could have gotten sick.

The manager asked why she didn't come back sooner instead of eating the whole bucket, which just made her yell louder.

— @SexyFartMan69

Did You Know That Colonel Sanders: Dropped out of school

Sanders had several step fathers and in particular didn't get along with William Broaddus after his mother's 1902 remarriage and the family's move to Greenwood, Indiana. He also said that seventh grade "algebra's what drove [him] off". For these reasons he dropped out of public school and got his first proper job as a farmhand at the age of 12.

Worked many jobs in his youth (and was briefly in the army)

Like a veritable Jack London, Sanders tried his hand at all kinds of occupations and would do anything he could to sustain himself in his youth. At 13 Sanders left home to paint horse carriages, then to work on another farm.

In 1906 he worked as a streetcar after moving in with his uncle, who worked for the company.

But later that year he falsified his age to enlist in the army. At the time US forces were still stationed in Cuba as an ultimate result of the Spanish-American War, making Sanders a veteran of the on and off Occupation of Cuba. He was honorably discharged in 1907 and would be awarded the Cuban Pacification Medal.

So he really was in the army but was only ever a private

I once went to kfc and recognised a gypsy foid I seen couple years ago who back then was telling she is Syrian but this time she was Ukrainian so I asked her in Ukrainian from what region she did 180 degree move and walked away

— @WeihnachtenSalvador

Sanders' subsequent other jobs include,

Blacksmith's helper in a railway workshop

Cleaning out the ash pans of steam locomotives

And Steam engine stoker until he was allegedly fired for insubordination

He met his first wife Josephine King in 1909 and would have his three children with her.

THEY TOOK AWAY THE DOUBLE DOWN

THE DOUBLE DOWN KFC TOOK IT OFF THE MENU FOR A LIMITED TIME THEY TOOK AWAY THE DOUBLE DOWN

— @SexyFartMan69 and @Joe_Manchin

Delivered babies and practiced law before cooking chicken

For a time Sanders would study law at night while working with trains and living with his growing family, but a brawl with a coworker got him fired and he moved to work at another railroad company. Meanwhile his wife took the kids and lived with her parents.

Sanders went on to practice law in Little Rock, Arkansas (the famous segregation Little Rock ) and his wife came back to him. He was able to practice in the Justice of the Peace Corps because at the time it did not require that lawyers pass the bar.

But he would lose this career after another brawl, this time with his own client As written by biographer John Ed Pearce, "[Sanders] had encountered repeated failure largely through bullheadedness, a lack of self-control, impatience, and a self-righteous lack of diplomacy."

Sanders moved back in with his mother and worked at another railroad

Then briefly sold life insurance.

Then started his first corporate venture, a ferry boat company that actually did well for itself

He also took a job as a secretary at the Chamber of Commerce in Columbus, Indiana but wasn't a good fit for it

For whatever reason Sanders chose to sell the ferry business and started a lamp oil company. This failed after Delco introduced electric lamps to the developing region.

He finally made his move to Kentucky to work as a salesman for the Michelin Tire Company, but lost this job after the plant closed.

In 1924 he met the general manager of Standard Oil of Kentucky and got a position running a service station. This lasted until the station closed in 1930.

Sanders would get his real start in food service after opening a Shell service station in North Corbin, Kentucky. He was also said to have helped deliver babies here. According to his autobiography, "There was nobody else to do it. The husbands couldn't afford a doctor when their wives were pregnant."

Chicken

i hate kfc r-slur

— @Penny

Sanders' very first restaurant was a hole in the wall food stall operated out of his gas station in North Corbin. Having already been cooking his whole life, he started selling fried chicken as well as other meals like country ham and steaks. His local popularity grew, and, in 1939, food critic Duncan Hines visited Sanders's restaurant and included it in Adventures in Good Eating, his guide to restaurants throughout the US.

Corbin, KY. Sanders Court and Café

41 — Jct. with 25, 25 E. ½ Mi. N. of Corbin. Open all year except Xmas.

A very good place to stop en route to Cumberland Falls and the Great Smokies. > Continuous 24-hour service. Sizzling steaks, fried chicken, country ham, hot biscuits. L. 50¢ to $1; D., 60¢ to $1

And around this time in 1935, Sanders was made an honorary Kentucky Colonel by Kentucky Governor Ruby Laffoon — the most well known colonelcy in the United States in part because of Sanders. (US Governors in multiple states can bestow this as an honorific. The origins of this tradition trace back to colonial and antebellum times when wealthy landowners were given the title to commission companies or finance local militias without having to be in the military.) Laffoon was known at the time for handing out a record number of Colonel titles (Other colonels commissioned by Laffoon included Mae West, Shirley Temple, Clark Gable, Bing Crosby, Will Rogers, Fred Astaire, Jean Harlow, Mary Pickford, Charlie Chaplin, Jack Dempsey and W. C. Fields.) But this didn't make the commission any less legitimate and Sanders would certainly make use of it throughout his life.

Such is the origin of Sanders' famous title, meaning he was technically a private and a colonel

Once had a shootout with a competitor

https://www.mentalfloss.com/posts/kfc-colonel-sanders-shoot-out

The colonel was one of the most based men to have ever lived.

— @Fabrico

While running his gas station on Highway 25, Sanders had a large sign painted to direct customers to his station. Business rival Matt Stewart started painting over Sanders' sign, and Sanders would respond by repainting it. This escalated into a shootout in which Stewart killed a Shell employee and was wounded after Sanders returned fire

Sanders was arrested at the scene but had his charges dropped. Stewart went to prison for homicide and suddenly the competition was no more.

Tried to kidnap his own children

At around this time Sanders' relationship with his first wife had deteriorated and he was seeing a mistress, Claudia Ledington-Price, that he would later marry. After getting a very critical letter from his brother-in-law, Sanders came to visit and found all his furniture had been distributed amongst the other in-laws. He felt the need to get back at his wife's family.

The originally dramatic plan was to camp out in the woods until his children came out to play and just take them He eventually thought better of it though and worked out a deal with Josephine. The two divorced after the kids were grown.

Opened the first proper Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant in Utah

make sure to log into your KFC account and do your daily quests like eat three double downs for extra slopcoins

@peepeehands

In July of '39 Sanders also acquired a motel in Asheville, North Carolina, but the original service station would be destroyed in a fire. Sanders then built a Corbin motel with a new restaurant inside.

By 1940 and at the age of 50, Sanders had perfected his chicken recipe and started cooking his chicken using a pressure fryer — faster than pan frying but without unacceptable moisture loss. This new technique might have immediately made Sanders money had it not been for America's entry into WWII Gas was rationed and tourism dried up, leading to the closure of the second motel. He went to supervise cafeterias for the government at an ordnance works in Tennessee, followed by a job as assistant cafeteria manager. He left Claudia to manage the original location and waited out the war and immediate post-war economic stagnation until '52, the year the world would be blessed with its first KFC

Japan kfc sells out of their Christmas fried chicken dinners every year

You can see the pyramids from a sit down pizza Hut in Egypt

After a visit to a Roman coliseum you can wash it down with a coke and big mac

America has culturemaxxd the world lmaooo

— @johnnypoop

The original "Kentucky Fried Chicken" opened in South Salt Lake, Utah on the 24th of September, 1952 The restaurant was operated by Pete Harman, who was already known for having the city's most popular eatery. He worked closely with Sanders to develop the franchising concept and would ultimately be able to use the Colonel's recipe in exchange for 4 cents off every chicken sold. His other claims to fame are the development of the bucket packaging and the emphasis on the "Finger-lickin' good" motto.

The name "Kentucky Fried Chicken" was chosen because it seemed exotic in Utah and invoked an air of southern hospitality. Sales more than tripled in the first year with around 75% of total sales coming from fried chicken. Several other restaurant owners would also franchise the concept after Harman's success.

However, this wasn't quite the start of the modern KFC corporation.

Wasn't wildly successful until he was old and grey

Don't quit cos you're 65. Maybe your boat hasn't come in yet. Mine hadn't.

— Colonel Sanders in multiple interviews

For the most part, Sanders still made his living off profits from his original North Corbin restaurant, but at the age of 65 he was forced to sell it after President Eisenhower's new interstate system directed traffic away from his once prominent location. He was left with only his savings, social security payments, and the small amount of money gained from those early franchisees. With nothing else to turn to, Sanders devoted himself to expanding his food sales by incorporating Kentucky Fried Chicken. He traveled the country in his '46 Ford trying to sign up as many restaurant owners as he could.

Though he'd started dressing the part with his trademark white suit and bleached facial hair, the Colonel wasn't yet famous outside of a few Kentucky circles. He spent nights in his car and did all the legwork himself, to the point of personally cooking the chicken in demonstrations with potential business partners. Sanders' autobiography mentions hundreds of restaurant visits and that he was usually turned down, but more and more franchisees gradually signed on as the '50s continued.

Fun Fact: One of the franchisees was Dave Thomas, the eventual founder of Wendy's Thomas developed the rotating red bucket sign, was an early advocate of the take-out concept that Harman had pioneered, and introduced a bookkeeping form that Sanders rolled out across the entire KFC chain

Another was John Wayne Gacy

I've seen Taco Bell and KFC and I've seen A&W and KFC. Does there exist a mythical PizzaHut/TacoBell/KFC/A&W?

— @RWBY

When KFC finally took off, it took off. By 1960 there were about 200 franchised restaurants. By '63 there were over 600, making it the largest fast food chain in the nation at the time. KFC was notably the first and biggest fast food chain to focus on chicken, or really, anything besides hamburgers. In the meantime Sanders had grown into something of an icon, and was now making five cents for every chicken sold

He was even considered as a potential running mate for George Wallace's 1968 Presidential Campaign. (He ultimately chose Curtis LeMay)

Mascot and Icon

People just don't have lives like this anymore

— /r/todayilearned

However, KFC's unprecedented expansion had become too much for the Colonel to manage. In 1964 and at the age of 73, Sanders sold KFC to a group of investors led by John Y. Brown Jr. and Jack C. Massey. The deal stipulated that he would remain a salaried brand ambassador and quality control consultant. He also retained ownership of Canadian operations.

In '65 he and Claudia moved to Mississauga, Ontario. The Colonel actually spent the rest of his life there as a leaf

Was Drama-Pilled

It's not even a secret [Jersh] () once talked openly on the podcast about how if you stalked the KFC near Belgrade university you'd see him pretty quick

— @BFBugleberry

For the most part the Colonel spent his old age being dramatic and enjoying his status. He remained (and still is) a living icon of the company and would travel over 200,000 miles a year on the company's behalf while also filming advertisements of all kinds. He was happy to play the part of a southern gentleman, though he could also be a shit-stirrer

Apparently whenever Sanders traveled with blacks in the south, he would go out of his way to open doors for them just to mess with people. In one instance when traveling with a company spokesman, someone asked the man who he was to have the Colonel open doors for him. Sanders replied something to the effect of, "He's my son, but we don't talk about it."

The Colonel loved pulling surprise inspections of restaurants and would become infuriated if the food wasn't up to his standards. He was fond of throwing food on the floor and swearing at employees. At times he would barge into the kitchen and insist on showing the cooks how the chicken should have been cooked.

He hated the "extra crispy" recipe in particular since it wasn't an invention of his. As other chicken chains began to emerge, KFC created it to compete with places that used a traditional batter instead of a flour dredge. Sanders never forgave corporate for it In an article published by the Louisville Courier-Journal on October 8, 1975, he told journ*list Dan Kauffman:

My God, that gravy is horrible. They buy tap water for 15 to 20 cents a thousand gallons and then they mix it with flour and starch and end up with pure wallpaper paste. And I know wallpaper paste, by God, because I've seen my mother make it. ... There's no nutrition in it and they ought not to be allowed to sell it. ... [The] crispy [fried chicken] recipe is nothing in the world but a darn fried doughball stuck on some chicken.

Eventually came to hate KFC and was involved in lawsuits

Most maulings are done by ghetto trash guard dogs owned by hoodrats. These have about as much relation to a proper pitbull as the the current slop KFC serves has to the Colonel's original golden recipe.

— @911roofer

KFC was acquired by Heublein Inc. in 1971. They actually sued Sanders over his comments in interviews and because he and his wife had opened a new restaurant, "The Colonel's Lady's Dinner House", and were considering expanding it.

The Colonel won this and countersued over the use of his image in products he hadn't developed.

This ain't no goddam Tennessee Fried Chicken, no matter what some slick, silk-suited son-of-a-b-word says

-- Sanders following the move of corporate headquarters to Nashville, Tennessee

The two sides settled out of court, with Sanders receiving $1 million and a chance to give a cooking lesson to Heublein executives in return for his promise to stop criticizing Kentucky Fried Chicken's food. The Colonel's new restaurant would not be franchised though it remained and still remains open as the Claudia Sanders Dinner House. It is the only establishment besides KFC legally allowed to use Sanders' original recipe.

The Colonel would remain an active and well traveled figure until the end of his days. He is said to have only worn his trademark white suit for the last twenty years of his life for all public appearances and never dropped the character even after leaving KFC. He also continued making surprise inspections of random KFCs until '79. He was also a Freemason

He died in 1980 at the age of 90. His body was laid in state in the rotunda of the Kentucky State Capitol after a funeral attended by over 500 people. A memorial service held at KFC's headquarters was also attended by over 1,000 people. By that time there were over 6,000 KFC outlets in operation

Once cursed a Japanese baseball team

There's a KFC and Dominos Pizza a few miles from Bin Ladens secret compound in Pakistan. His neighbors could have been eating halal thin crust pizza while Navy SEALS raided the house next door. These places have infinite reach (US Goyslop Forces) .

-- @Yakub

The Colonel's continuous status as an icon and mascot hardly needs explaining, so I'll end this post on a fun example of it. The Curse of the Colonel states Sanders put a hex on the Hanshin Tigers after the baseball team's joyous fans celebrated a 1985 championship by tossing his statue, taken from a local Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant, into an Osaka river. They appeared in the Japan Series three more times and lost in 2003, 2005 and 2014.

The statue was retrieved in 2009, but it wasn't until 2023 that The Hanshin Tigers finally won their first Japan Series title in 38 years.

✨ Monster Hunter Now x MrBeast Challenge is now LIVE ✨

It's time to take on some quests, hunters. 👊 During this challenge, you will need to follow MrBeast's instructions to earn a ton of in-game rewards, play now to find out! pic.twitter.com/j8t1pqboXZ

— Monster Hunter Now (@MH_Now_EN) July 27, 2024

It's kinda hilarious that athletes are riding public transport, I think in most countries the host created personal bus/drivers for every country team but France was like frick you and rise the public transport cost by 2

Burger gold medalist only earn 38k it could be somewhat suitable if you do swimming or any other sport where you can win 20 medals but for example basketball or soccer, you'll get more money from an single pro game than this and if you do pro games you'll lose access to olympics.

So most olympics athletes probably from rich families.

Most Based Comments

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Trump definitely is (344)

Mostly his own, though. Well, the one anyway. (139)

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Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Donnie The Lies? I thought not. It's not a story the MAGAs would tell you. (233)

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Shot in the ear with a bullet he said. Fricking liar (-5)

Angriest Comments

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Not sure if this is something we should joke about. it makes us look as bad as them. hate the man, but I don't wish him to be assassinated. This should concern us all. it was a horrible lapse by our secret service and raises a lot of questions. Just because he wasn't hit for a more dramatic injury doesn't take away what happened that day. Very sad day for America. I hate to think where this coutry would be if he got killed that day. They would have lost there shit, and war would be in the streets. Maga is just itching for a reason. (3)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Millions of deaths to Covid-19 that easily could've been avoided.Several CIA informants killed or missing after he sells/misplaces information/documents.Incited an insurrection in an attempt to steal the election, with threats to hang his VP, where people were injured, one traitor acting in his name was put down, and several defenders of the Capitol died from stress and depression brought on by the physical assault against our freedom.Dead man in a crowd at his rally, brain blown out his skull, and a couple others wounded.And he claims he was shot, after some performative WWE tricks that the Hall-of-Famer remembered would make it look convincing in the moment, in an attempt to garner sympathy votes. No scar, wound, evidence of any damage to him.Too many people have died because of this man's ignorance, arrogance, lies, greed, and conceit. The orange traitor needs to meet justice, and there's only one fitting form of justice for treason and murder. (2)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

In what context is him getting shot funny or something to mock? Because people don't like him? You sure as heck wouldn't be laughing it was anyone else you didn't hate. And your justification saying you absolutely can decide which form of gun violence is ok is so darn ignorant. Wonder if you'd make that same claim if it was someone you knew getting shot at (1)

I'm sorry, but "Some violence is okay and other violence is not okay" is one of the principles society is built on. We as a society decide it all the time. It's why boxers don't go to jail for assault when they beat people up in the ring and why cops rarely face disciplinary action for shooting people in the line of duty. It's why you can be detained for resisting arrest even if you aren't violent. It's even why doctors can detain you under some circumstances. If that's not a principle you can accept as baked into the fabric of every society that humans have ever created then I'm not sure what I can do for you. -- (1)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/Short_Pin_6243

Score: 🐮🐮🐮🔘🔘

Number of comments: 5

Average angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

Maximum angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Minimum angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

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