rip @sadreturn bloody chode fricking bastard bloody

unreal pic.twitter.com/kj7aKoWUBx

— Dark Reject ☦︎ (@saddestreturn) December 27, 2024

I had a rockstar application for college--near perfect SAT score, perfect AP scores on 7 different tests, Eagle Scout, congressional internship, varsity athlete, etc.--but I spent my summers doing manual labor for long hours (100+ a week @VivekGRamaswamy) because, hey, that was… pic.twitter.com/WrEXG9ricN

— Josiah Lippincott (@jlippincott_) December 28, 2024

This absolute is seething that Sillicon Valley companies are hiring s in droves and passing up unmelanated supergeniuses like himself, nevermind that hes never written a line of code in his life.

This takes the cake for !mayomoment of the year.

The reason I’m in America along with so many critical people who built SpaceX, Tesla and hundreds of other companies that made America strong is because of H1B.

Take a big step back and FUCK YOURSELF in the face. I will go to war on this issue the likes of which you cannot…

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 28, 2024

pic.twitter.com/ZWGZAHDwnD

— Destiny | Steven Bonnell II (@TheOmniLiberal) December 28, 2024

I fricking hate motion blur, depth of field, bloom, and lens flare so much bros.

I'm finishing the reddit>resetERA>Kiwi Farms>rDrama pipeline

The OP

Starts with the Monster Sipping

Quotes a reddit post that he found relatable- the heart of the complaint was it being annoying having to go through so many log-ins and child account bullshit which sometimes also randomly threw off errors just so his kid could get a Lego game installed

His original commentary- perhaps it should be less annoying to buy a game for your kid

Seems reasonable right? No Child! Banned for 2 months for complaining about video game purchases on a video game forum

Enjoy no threadmaking privileges when you return!

The enlightened replies

Of course we got some great contributions from the epic game players.

this is true

NOOO JUST DON'T HAVE AN ICKY CHILD. This isn't a problem for me, specifically

But it still is if you have a child

Ummm akshually why aren't you buying this Soyney game for your PS5???? Sony probably gets less money when you buy it for PC, so you should have no reason to buy it there

Why don't you remember all your passwords for shit like Sony accounts that you literally type in once and never again??? Are you stupid? (I guarantee you this guy uses the same password for literally everything)

User is confused as OP is just griping and reminiscing about the good old days instead of trying to stir up hate

Adding unnecessary bullshit steps to everything is a good thing actually! It's you who are impatient for wanting to simply install a program and be done with it! And yes it can be annoying, but why would you want it to be less so?

Remember, you're not a true epic g*mer if you don't spend all your time simping for large companies

Africa isn't exactly known as an intellectual hub, though the continent has produced several successful academics. For anyone interested in receiving the best education possible on the continent, South Africa is the ideal destination. This has been both positive and negative. On the plus side, immigration into the country for academic purposes has allowed the country to attract some of the best talent on the continent. On the downside, it makes entry into university tougher, as it means you're competing with the entire continent for limited spots.

https://www.timeshighereducation.com/student/best-universities/best-universities-africa

When looking at the best universities on the continent, you'll notice that it is dominated by South African universities, with the University of Cape Town consistently taking the top spot. Over the course of my academic career, I've interacted with a few of the top universities and I'd like to share the most entertaining controversies that have emerged from them.

Some of you don't like suspense, so I'll list the three universities I'll be discussing before I begin. I hope you enjoy the read.

3. Rhodes University - #RUReferencelist

2. Stellenbosch University - Pissgate

1. University of Cape Town - Decolonsation

With each university, I'll be asking you a key question. I'm writing this after taking some promethazine pills so I'm feeling warmly sedated. Consequently, this is the theme song for the longpost:

Rhodes University - #RUReferencelist

As I've mentioned in passing a few times on the site, I attended Rhodes University for most of my academic life. I was attracted to the university because it's located in a small town and it has a reputation for being a liberal university with a notorious party scene.

You'll notice that Rhodes University isn't on the list of top African universities, and there's a reason for that - Rhodes does not partake in any ranking system. The university is quite smug about it, and it claims that it has influenced other universities from around the world to do the same.

https://www.ru.ac.za/latestnews/adecadelaterrhodesuniversitysayswetoldyousoonrankingsobsession.html

In reality, from going to a few universities in SA and spending plenty of time at Rhodes, it's pretty obvious that current year Rhodes is easily trounced by most other universities. The school and the town it's in have been on a steep decline in the last few years and it shows no signs of slowing.

But I'm not here to rag on Rhodes. I'm here to discuss #rureferencelist. I've mentioned this movement in passing in other longposts, but I'll outline it again. As you know, South Africa has a r*pe epidemic, and academic settings aren't immune to this plague. During the 2010s, many female students at Rhodes complained about being r*ped by men, and the university not doing anything about it. I don't doubt that this is the case, as there were a few times dudes in my residence would tell me about their sexual escapades and sometimes, what they described was r*pe. In my opinion, a lot of men commit r*pe without knowing it. Some of it is a product of just being ignorant about consent and boundaries. S*x is a social act, and the skills to partake in the activity in a harmonious way with others requires learning and experience.

In 2016, the women of Rhodes decided they had had enough. Anonymously, a post was made on the popular Facebook group RU Queer Confessions, Questions and Crushes. The post featured a list of about a dozen male students accusing them of r*pe and domestic violence. Women then gathered in a humungous mob and went to various male residencess to find those accussed of r*pe. On that night, I was in my residence room (it was a single room I had to myself) and I was hitting my bong. This was when marijuana was still illegal (it was decriminalised in 2018), so I had to be careful about it. Imagine my shock when stoned me suddenly heard loud banging on the residence building's front door and I peered out the window to find an angry mob of women. For some reason, the weed had me paranoid and I thought they were coming to get me for smoking weed! Fortunately, I wasn't their target, but there were 3 men in my residence who were.

They managed to kidnap some of the men on the list and I'm not quite sure what they did to them, but I'm sure it was unpleasant. The university condemned the protestors, claiming that it was wrong to publish the reference list and accuse men of r*pe publicly when they hadn't been tried legally. The women did not like that, and they continued to protest. On one day they took their shirts off. I'm not sure what the logic for the shirtlessness was. Sorry I can't provide more clearer pictures. I used to have them all on an SSD but I lost it and the images seem to have been pretty much scrubbed off the internet.

The #rureferencelist received international attention, but the university which, as I've said, has a liberal persona, surprisingly stook to its unpopular decision to condemn the protests and the reference list. An interdict was obtained to put a stop to the protest which, of course, meant the use of police force. Following this, the university took disciplinary action against the girls, resulting in many of them leaving the university.

One of the people who was punished was Yolanda Dyantyi, who was found guilty of kidnapping, insubordination, and defamation. She was excluded from the university, which is a big deal because that goes on the record, making it next to impossible to find enrolment in a different university. When this happened she went on social media to complain and claim victimhood. I googled her to see what she's up to these days, and holy heck she's STILL going on about it, like literally hours ago.

https://x.com/YoliShade

Big Question: How do you interpret the shirtless protesting?

Stellenbosch University - Pissgate

So I'm currently studying at Stellenbosch University where I'm completing my PhD. I'm enjoying the university and I think it has very, very competent educators and the academia standards are much higher than at Rhodes.

In truth, these two universities are pretty much the complete opposite of each other. While Rhodes has a liberal persona, Stellenbosch takes a more conservative approach. This is in part due to the fact that it has lectures in both English and Afrikaans. This has made it quite the popular school among Afrikaaners, which is a conservative segment of the population. The school also has a reputation for being racist. When I was a wee young high school student choosing what university I wanted to go to (this would have been in 2012), I didn't even consider Stellenbosch because of its reputation.

I'm studying remotely, so I've never spent significant time physically at the university. Consequently, I can't say whether the claims are true or not. However, I haven't experienced anything remotely approaching racism in my interactions with the university. If anything, they seem to take the "colour-blind" approach instead of focusing on identity politics. This is quite different to Rhodes where identity politics is the be-all end-all.

One event that stirred up discussions about racism at Stellenbosch in recent years is #pissgate. This story involves two main characters: Babalo Ndwayana (a BIPOC) and Theuns du Toit (a mayo, I'm guessing Boer considering that last name). After a night of heavy drinking, Theuns returns to the residence and enters the room of Babalo where he proceeds to urinate over his laptop and study material. Babalo records the incident on his phone, and on the video, you can tell Theuns is quite wasted.

The video was distributed, resulting in widespread condemnation and protests. I mentioned race previously because this was interpreted as a racist incident. Theuns was expelled from the university, and Babalo pressed charges against him. Don't take this mean that Babalo was out for blood, as he was actually quite sympathetic towards Theuns.

>In an interview with News24 on 17 May, Ndwanyana said: "I would forgive him, because he is, like, also traumatised enough now …. My father said I must make criminal charges but I said to him it is already enough now. We must also think he is someone's child." 

On Reddit, you can see the heavy debates on Reddit over whether the incident was racist.

Big Question: is Theuns a racist?

University of Cape Town - Decolonsation

Technically, I did attend UCT but it was not for a degree. I just did a short course and obtained a qualification in copywriting. I do wish I had attended UCT instead of Rhodes. I have a cousin who went there and it's clear that she benefitted greatly from going to such a prestigious university. It's bullshit that 17yos have to make big decisions like picking a university when they're so young. I didn't consider shit about rankings, just "muh artsy school good!". Seventeen-year-old me was dumb. That promethazine got me drowsy as heck now, but we're going to fight through until the end. We're almost at the finish line.

A topic that has frequently arisen in recent years in the South African academic scene is the concept of decolonisation. The argument is that we have an education system shaped by the West and its worldview and ideals, to the exclusion of indigenous knowledge. This is a product of colonialism. Hence, to truly be a decolonised State, one must restructure the education system and implement one that better suits the needs of all identities, especially those BIPOCs.

Personal thoughts? Well, they're not wrong in their assessment. However, this becomes problematic once you take it to the STEM side of things. How does one decolonise mathematics or physics? Well, some have tried, as you'll soon learn.

In 2016, a discussion panel on decolonisation was held among students. In the video, we see a woman passionately talking about how necessary it is to decolonise the school. She argues that to do this, we need to completely do away with science and start from scratch. She states that among those who practice witchcraft in Black culture, they believe it is possible to send lightning to strike someone. How could science possibly explain this?! It can't and that is because science doesn't take into account Black perspectives. Not everyone in the room agreed with her, with one man stating "it's not true!". The boy was scolded by the leader of the panel and she made him apologise. I beg of you, please watch the video. It's got absolute bangers in there.

The video clip went viral, leading to many laughing and making especially fun of the idea of abolishing it. Of course went viral on Reddit and it was used as proof that woke nonsense had infiltrated everything (I don't remember whether "woke" was the word used in 2016). It got so big that even Thunderf00t dived in!

Big Question: Is science denialism for brainlets, midwits, or geniuses?

Conclusion

Darn, a BIPOC about to dose off. I'm outchea nodding like a mfer, fr fr. I can't think of much to close off. Thanks to whoever recommended that I play The Stanley Principle. It's a great game, so unique, and I'm thoroughly enjoying. I'm going to wait before I dive into The Beginner's Guide because I want to do it while on LSD, which I'll do at the end of January 2025.

Tune in next time when I attempt to define postmodernism.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/elon-reeve-musk.134949/page-120#post-20178652

!cuteandvalid !cuteandinvalid !metashit !nonchuds !dramatards

OP legitimately is a 51 year old white American woman from the Midwest ( I think) with grown children.

Failed jobless actress and comedian, he is the sole breadwinner for the family

She did not think to find a job when he lost his to help the family

And, yes her husband did lose his job and his sister and mother freaking died this year.

But she is jealous that he got better gifts, while he for some reason forgot and got her earphones, coffee and a mug

She herself claim that this is the first time ever he gift her 'shitty gifts'

And he apologized profusely

Adding comment chains

Comment chain

Your grown children are also to blame

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1hmxsbe/im_embarrassed_how_cliche_this_is/m3xuyq7/?context=8

Male feminists good husband and Twoxregular claims that OP husband is entitled and his loses doesn't matter

Twice

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1hmxsbe/im_embarrassed_how_cliche_this_is/m410eth/?context=8

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1hmxsbe/im_embarrassed_how_cliche_this_is/m410aao/?context=8

TWO COMMENT CHAINS SUPPORTING THE HUSBAND AND ONE NOT DOWN VOTED TO HECK CALLING OUT op

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1hmxsbe/im_embarrassed_how_cliche_this_is/m3xp3hs/?context=8

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1hmxsbe/im_embarrassed_how_cliche_this_is/m3yot31/?context=8

CHRISTMAS ARE SEXIST TO WOMEN, WOMEN ARE PRIMARY VICTIM OF CHRISTMAS. REPUBLICANS SHOULD BAN CHRISTMAS

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1hmxsbe/im_embarrassed_how_cliche_this_is/m416k36/?context=8

Twoxxers telling stories on how happy they are after divorcing dirty moids

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1hmxsbe/im_embarrassed_how_cliche_this_is/m3xjil7/?context=8

Women should never lower expectations and their male partners should be perfect like in romcoms

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1hmxsbe/im_embarrassed_how_cliche_this_is/m3xkhjk/?context=8

'Neutral' comment, you are right to be disappointed, he had a lot to deal this year

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1hmxsbe/im_embarrassed_how_cliche_this_is/m3xkhl2/?context=8

The last 3 years, was he competent at gift giving?

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1hmxsbe/im_embarrassed_how_cliche_this_is/m3xnfrn/?context=8

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

I can small talk with people I like, I just don't like most people. (313)

well you're probably a bad conversationalist if you can't get enough chat out of people to find at least something to connect with them on (-40)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

I have absolutely zero desire to talk about the weather or your haircut. Zero desire. So I'm a bad conversationalist? (103)

Yup, if you can't make small stuff like that interesting then talking to you about the big stuff won't be that interesting either. Small talk and big talk go hand in hand (-41)

Basedness: 🔥🔘🔘🔘🔘

I feel like its also that sometimes I am busy thinking about important stuff and small talk is a pointless distraction from that. Makes me assume people who insist on small talk have little going on up there.EDIT: I clearly don't think that its anyone who small talks is dumb, but people who are almost uncomfortable with silence and are bothered by others not small talking (81)

tub enjoy expansion spark future air rinse point shelter causeThis post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact (-22)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Notice how I never said that disliking or not participating in small talk is inherently bad; I specifically talked about people who condescendingly look down on those who do participate in it, yet you chose to get offended in this manner by calling me entitled for some reason. I wonder why.I don't know, I think interacting with the people around you is good, it's nice to have a more closely knit interconnected society. On the whole, people have become more atomized, like particles floating through space never colliding, and while there are bigger socioeconomic causes for this, I think anti-social behavior/mindsets are both a symptom and a perpetuating factor.I understand people can have personal issues, trauma, etc. and at the end of the day, I can't force anyone to do anything. Doesn't change my view on the merits of it, though. (-3)

I'll tell you what the issue with your reply to people reading it is - in your list of examples, you denoted negatives to any situation in which someone would not like small talk and said that's fine. You gave "excuses" for not liking small talk like social anxiety (meaning they want to be able to talk to people but cant) or having a bad day/tired (would normally like small talk, but this is not the time).Then in your next reply, you listed personal issues and trauma, again explaining that not liking small talk is due to negatives.Then, your counter to that is that the other people who don't have those negatives are "often" arrogant, condescending, etc.You know what you forgot to list? Introverts. People with a natural personality type in which they are drained by social interaction in general and thus pick and choose when they want to interact.By excluding that, which is the largest source of people that generally dislike small talk, you're either coming off that you think that... (3)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

I know I'm a bad conversationalist, that's why I hate small talk lol (5512)

Yeah but at least i know im a bad conversationalist. Lots of these people that are just talking to talk are just as bad. There's the I did something incredibly simple people. what am I supposed to clap bc you tied your shoes? There's the I'm going to ask you a bunch of inane questions then get pissed that you don't carry the whole conversation on your back. Do you have a car, yes, 😤. There's the I can't afford a therapist so I'm going to unload my burdens on random people, people. There's the I'm going to trap employees in a conversation they can't actively disagree with or leave bc that would be rude to the customer, people. Oh and anyone who's classically bad at conversation knows it's only rude one way. when you don't care about the conversation it's rude, but when they talk over you that's just the flow of the conversation. (2)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Strongly agree! There's so much you can learn about someone, and connect over, in seemingly "meaningless" conversation. The ability to use small talk to show that you care about the mundanity of someone's daily life, build connection, and bridge the gap between "stranger" to "friend" is an essential part of human relationships and I get that it's not easy, but I hate how people disparage it as if it is less worthy. Someone jumping into "deep" topics with me without first building a rapport via small talk so we have a better sense of each other's boundaries, conversational preferences, communication style, etc. is only going to make me feel nervous and uncomfortable!And that's coming from someone who is very introverted and has very limited social battery. What I hate is wasting my limited energy on small talk with people I dislike and don't want to build a relationship with, but that's not a problem with the small talk per se, it's a problem with the people (I'd hate to have a "deep... (1)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/CommercialBluejay562

Score: 🐮🐮🐮🔘🔘

Number of comments: 10

Average angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

Maximum angriness: 😡🔘🔘🔘🔘

Minimum angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

NEW: Subscribe to /h/miners to see untapped drama veins, ripe for mining!

autodrama: automating away the jobs of dramneurodivergents. Ping HeyMoon if there are any problems or you have a suggestion

The Meta employee relations department's investigation into Kevin Crawley has concluded. Separately, I've learned from industry sources that Kevin Crawley is no longer employed by Meta. Being a member of Kiwi Farms and engaging in racist and transphobic tirades is bad for one's career.

— Liz Fong-Jones (方禮真) (@lizthegrey.com) 2024-12-27T18:02:56.656Z

kiwifarms

Backstory

Basically, I am really good at doing puzzles and decryption of ciphers and things of that nature. Won a few competitions in HS and got offered a job straight out of HS at *** with a starting wage at *7 (censoring first letter so this won't show up in *** scrapes). Can't say specifics obviously. Took it and was there for a few years.

You have to pass and have TS to have job, but there arw additonao specific classifications (actual term is different, unfortunately again, I can't include this information or I will be doxxed or hounded by people who keep track of ex*** members) needed that are only obtainable after 2 years to up to 5 years depending on path and promotion cycle. Basically, those classifications derive huge value on civilian (non gov, this career field is also available for certain officers in military, so its typical to say "civilian" when referring to it) world, so they make you wait to get classification so they can retain people and so people don't just jump ship after TS & classifications clear for contractor work.

So I left after getting classifications around 2 year mark (promoted moderately quickly from within), left to work at a few different places. Was able to solve a lot of cool cypher/puzzle/codes, (not exactly what was being done, but closely related).

After which I took hiatus, because i was burned out and honestly the job is nasty work. I was offered a scholarship previously to an unnamed university in HS, but turned it down, so I applied there. Surprisingly I got a full ride which was better than whatever like 30% at most I was offered in HS. Found out work I did while working for gov was acceptable for credit hours, so I was able to finish my bachelors pretty quick within 6 months, since I also gamed the online courses for prereqs. Not gonna say my major, but it was not what you think, weirdly enough, which is why I was surprised my gov work qualified as credit hours for some of the classes.

Anyway, got my masters and trasnferres out to different schoolf or doctoral program since tenured professor I was studying with was pushed into retirement. Got my dcotorate. So curently I was around age 28 with doctorate had a decent nest egg, old friend bet me 100k I couldn't solve Zodiac cyphers. Took the bet obviously, he was serious, but only because he knows me and because I was sort of known a a prodigy at this type of thing. Had published already multiple papers with 50+ citations while still in grad school, (luckily was able to avoid having the cute twink associate professor list his name first, douchebag did that to all his students published studies but I went to faculty head (guy who got pushed out) and told him if I don't get my name first I was transferring). Lol I ended up transferring anyway, as I mentioned earlier, which caused the dean to call me... I wish I was joking, very embrassing.

idk, why I wrote all this, but I just want to make sure you guys understand my creds. I am not a genius or anything, more like just really, really good at solving puzzles and creating heuristics. Being good at heuristics is probably more important than anything, because they usually can be used through various transformations (if they are precise while maintaining reasonable accuracy) to form the actual algorithmic solution.

Actual Solution

So when I solved the first cipher, my friend didn't believe me. Obviously, the most progress towards the real answer anyone had made in 51 years. And was conflicting with previous "answers" from blowhard cute twinks.

I mean it wasn't all the way completed so let's just say we all were half correct. Anyways I kept at it, and eventually hit a jackpot on a few hidden clues, then not only solved the last unsolvable cipher, but went back and resolved the cipher claimed to be solved in 2020, that was solved incorrectly! That dude was on TV and got a job with the FBI and leases out his software and he's riding a complete lie!!

I swear dude blocked me the other day on the cicada 3301 post , when I tried giving him a pointer, and I hadn't realized it was him until he blocked me!!

So I solved all 3 of thier ciphers , actually figured out the zodiac killers as they made title, the fardowsi connection, the ciphers solutions and letter games and tons of hidden content from the group that was "the zodiac" 3 hidden treasure locations, and tried giving them this information absolutely free, minus the "key" that deciphers the ciphers (because there's some treasures booby trapped and ppl could get hurt or worse)

But they banned me because they'd rather sell books guessing at thier new suspect of the year , every year for the rest of eternity. They'd rather make Netflix series where they interview a bunch of crusty burnouts and speculate on yesterday's news.

I guess i sound like I've got salt in areas men usually don't possess and get salt into.

Yeah , I guess.

So I'm just gonna give you the quick answers, because frick those guys. Z13 in a scytale zig zag placement turn to Alexander the great. You can run a ceaser cipher with the transposition alphabet and end up with a saying from fardowsi,(in persian english) that says he spits on you from the heavens.

The z340 is a board game, it's the death machine list inside a play area that's much like a 5 point star. The word search of the list will designate the area. Then you play the game and the key is made. You can decrypt the 340 ,the 13,and the 32 with the key. You can even flip some ciphers upside down and use a mirror filter on the text and it will decrypt with the 340 key and make sense.

The z32 bomb is 4in and 4in and 2 radiens (it triangulates) and is at Oakland even though it should have blown by now. You can hold the map with a lot of other letters and discover spots this group hid treasure at 50 years ago (lol) like 9k in a rusty spitoon on the side of the road. (Dust by now).

Mr seawater the seawaters libertarian dad was the 1st zodiac.

Allen was the 2nd.

And nate and TC were both going for the title.

There were like 11 - 13 people involved in the zodiac crimes. Tom C was a killer. Mrs Seawater was involved. They killed people who had names that matched names in fardowsis' "shanameh" and some locations matched locations in the poem. The similarity to the poem to the murders is wild. The ciphers are a masterpiece in my opinion and I did have a great time solving them. There's something else, and it's borderline paranormal I want to say... metaphysical perhaps?

Whatever. I wrote enough. Will add more later. Just typing this up quick.

Epilogue

Friend is currently also consulting a few professors at my alma mater, but he says he is leaning towards paying me even though he has some issues understanding some specifics with my solution.

Being a little vagur, but just want to flex a bit, because this will be news soon, but you won't hear my name.... Certain reasons I can't explain. I just want some type of documentation and proof it was me, when this gets released. Probably be a few years (?) not sure how long they will wait. A lot of moving pieces.

The story starts with an old poster from the USSR, where the commies are dabbing on Christians by gloating about being the first state to send a man to space

"There's no God!"

It's a funny poster - very petty, and Yuriy Gagarin's shit eating grin in the poster is also very funny. Some r*dditors chuckle at this silly poster. Many people are ANGRY

Neighbor why you getting so mad at a silly poster

The opposite is also true, commies trying to claim this is a complete win (despite the USSR being long dead)

Loling at that OP

I've also been having some fun, ripping off that gay op where a guy posted bible verses on Chrisitian subs

I only got one bit, but these are some of the dumbest people imaginable. Just colossally stupid, intellectual peepeesucking rodents. This will last for days, it's awesome

The lesson of the story is that reddit atheism is still a very easy target for lolz

Bottom coin leaderboard when

!metashit !deadBIPOCstorage

The Nagus

The cold open drops more foreshadowing than sunshine on my butt: Sisko wants go to Bajor with Jake- he plans to visit The Fire Caverns (later revealed to be home to the Pah-Wraiths and they will be the site of Sisko's last confrontation with Dukat in the final episode)- Rom is acting like Rom and he quotes our first ever Rule of Acquisition (Number One, no less- "Once you've got their money, never give it back". As the episode progresses we get the sixth rule too- "Never allow family to stand in the way of opporunity")- we see Grand Nagus Zek, his weird staff and his huge manservant Maihardu. Loads of important shit gets shown for the first time this episode (EDIT NB: Because some r-slurs need it spelling out- the writers did not preplan anything in DS9 and merely returned to these ideas later on). This is also the first proper "Ferengi Episode"- a controversial concept as a lot of people don't like them. Although there were some rotten Ferengi episodes, there were plenty of good ones and I've always had a soft spot for them because they show a slice of Star Trek life from a different cultural perspective- a window into another way of thinking and existing within a setting we've only seen from one perspective in the past. Also, they're kind of like Fiddler on the Roof in space.

The Nagus has arrived on DS9, apparently on a cooming expedition. He intends to indulge in five of Quark's most popular holoporn programs. They would tone down the gooning implications in later seasons (and the holosuite would be used more for recreations of the Battle of Britain, somewhat-self-indulgent Rat Pack knock-offs and copyright infringing James Bond parodies- no seriously... Paramount got threatened with legal action by MGM after 'Our Man Bashir' in Season 5. How New Line's Austin Powers avoided this I don't know) but here in season 1, the message is clear as to what people are paying for in the holosuite:

_{They were together in real life btw: deal with it...}

_{At least he's not really a Jeet}

Zek invites himself to dinner at Quark's apartment. Side note- Ferengi use chopsticks and a lazy susan. There he explains his real reasons for the visit: he plans to use Quark's bar to host a biznez meeting to discuss Ferengi biznez, especially Gamma Quadrant biznez. He's chosen Quark's bar because apparently only Quark can arrange some uncomfortable-looking Ikea furniture in a room for short men with big ears to sit on. During the dinner Zek expresses disdain for BIPOC attending the hoo-man school so Rom tells BIPOC not to go there any more. BIPOC is less than happy about this and matters are not made better because Chief Obrien is currently teaching classes because the casting budget for this episode was already stretched by the Ferengi characters & would not cover Rosalind Chao's fee while Keiko is on holiday. This is the same Chief Obrien who literally had to fix every replicator on the station a few weeks back- now his wife's away he suddenly has all the time in the world to moonlight as a teachercel.

Getting back to the meeting: Nagus Zek explains that it's important that the Ferengi expand into the Gamma Quadrant so as to exploit a market where the unfounded reputation they have in the Merchant-phobic Alpha Quadrant can't ruin their chances.

Everyone agrees that this is an unreasonable goyim misrepresentation of a simple hard-working people.

But Zek feels he's too old to lead his people into this new frontier and he announces that he will now appoint a successor... Quark.

Nobody's impressed and spend the next few days low key threatening Quark- someone even tries to assassinate him. Compounding his woes, Zek suddenly dies leaving Quark without any support. Odo suggests doing an autopsy but everyone laughs as Zek's body is already gone- upon their deaths Ferengi are vacuum dessicated and the dishes of their remains auctioned off. One piece of Zek is worth 20 bars of gold-pressed latinum and is expected to double in value by the following year.

I'm not sure what Ferengi do with these powdered remains but those of great men like Zek sell for a high price and generally increase in value over time.

Quark tries to play it tough and act like he knows what he's doing which leads to this bizarre scene:

Turns out the bomb was Rom and Zek's useless son. They then try and blow Quark out of an airlock- something they're only prevented from doing by the reappearance of Zek who faked his death to test his useless son. A test his son failed uselessly. So Zek must remain Nagus and exploit the Gamma Quadrant personally, a task which will have huge implications in season 2. Far from being angry at his brother, Quark is just pleased he's not a complete failure as a Ferengi. For some reason Rom does not face charges for attempted murder.

There's a B plot about Jake teaching BIPOC to read which isn't worth getting into except for this bit where they goon over a hot Vulcan girl:

The first true Ferengi episode is... fine.

It lays the foundations for a lot of future Ferengi culture- their society is not one of true capitalism and free markets but rather a rigidly hierarchical one based on monopolies and price-fixing with the Nagus sitting at the center dictating everything and taking a cut of it all. Later we will learn of the Ferengi Commerce Authority which creates an impossible web of red tape in the Alliance which can only be navigated via extortionate bribes. This is why Ferengi have to gouge the life out of any non-Ferengi they do business with: their margins are so narrow due to all the bureaucracy and corruption.

Quick note on gold-pressed latinum: it's not a currency- it's a commodity and therefore it's price presumably fluctuates. Latinum is a metal, liquid at room temperature, which cannot be synthesised or replicated- hence it's intrinsic value. The latinum is traditionally pressed into sleeves of gold (which can be replicated and therefore has no real value besides looking nice) which are shaped as slips, strips and bars. Although the value of latinum fluctuates 100 slips make a strip and 20 strips make a bar. There are also bricks which are massively expensive but I don't know how many bars make a brick. I think that if you consider a slip to be worth about $1 you are in the right ball park. Other non-replicatable materials include dilithium crystals and possibly uridium (a fictional metal, originally invented for the 1980s vidya of the same name, from which starship sensor arrays are made) because the whole reason for the Cardassian occupation of Bajor was to strip-mine the planet for uridium. I suppose it's possible that different materials use different amounts of energy to replicate and it might just be more energy efficient for the Cardassians to mine the stuff. I suppose it's also possible that Cardassian replicators (which the show has established already as being a bit shit) can't do it but Federation ones can. Anyway...

Vortex

Jeff Lynne from ELO (or an alien who looks a lot like him) comes aboard DS9 and gets involved in some plot to rip off a Faberge egg thing Quark's trying to sell to a pair of twins (it is never explained why Jeff's involved in this). In the ensuing fight Jeff shoots and kills one of the twins and is arrested on suspicion of murder (although the twins fired first, it was Jeff who pulled a gun on them) while the surviving brother swears revenge.

I do wonder how they cast these twins and who got the decision on which one lives (and gets most of the speaking lines) and which one dies. Did they share both salaries equally? After all- they wouldn't have gotten the gig unless there was two of them.

Anyway, Jeff is one of those tricksy types who gaslamps Odo into believing he can lead the constable to his people- as proof he shows him a shapechanging butt-plug thing he keeps in a locket (why the heck was he allowed to keep this in his cell?).

Sisko and Dax go to Jeff's home planet and find them to be authoritarian buttholes but this week's interpretation of the Prime Directive demands that Jeff is returned to be executed without trial. Odo gets the gig to take him but re-routes to a nebula where Jeff says Odo might find his people. Of course he can't and it's just a stasis pod where Jeff has stashed his daughter (how did he get it here?). The shapechanging butt-plug is a key. He's a dissident, you see and was just trying to protect his daughter (from what? Are they a persecuted minority? We never find out).

The twin shows up in a sharp pointy-looking starship (must be a nightmare to dock) and there's a bit of action which, I'll grant you, does look nice...

...but this whole story makes no sense and Jeff's bullshit about the Changelings (this is the first time we ever hear Odo's people referred to as such) just feels like the episode itself bullpooping the audience into wasting our time watching this because we thought something important might occur. You might also notice a lot of "never explained" and "for some reason" bits in this review- that's never a good sign. There's also this bit where a rock falls on Odo's head and knocks him out- how the frick does that work? He doesn't have a brain.

It's all so disappointing.

Dramatis Personae

Another alien mind-virus has everybody on the station acting weird except for Odo. It was brought on board by a Klingon ship which asplodes after coming through the wormhole after cutting short their planetary survey mission into the Gamma Quadrant. I can't help but wonder how a Vor'cha class battlecruiser can blow into pieces right next to a busy star port and yet not cause any damage to any other vessels or the station itself.

One Klingon is successfully beamed over before his ship asplodes and mumbles one word before he dies; "victory". He carries his own personal logs which have suffered enough damage as to take a while to decipher (or maybe they got the logs from the cruiser wreckage, I can't remember). While this is happening Odo has a massive spazz in Quarks...

...but quickly recovers. This is never explained but is clearly his reaction to the virus. Quark also doesn't seem affected but his usefulness is restricted for reasons you'll see in a minute. Everybody else starts acting paranoid and weird and turns on each other forming into two groups- one loyal to Sisko and the other seeking to overthrow him, led by Kira. The Klingon logs eventually show that the exact same pattern of events occured aboard their cruiser but the significance of this is downplayed by Obrien (acting as Sisko's enforcer while Sisko hides insolently in his office and DNGAF) who, correctly, points out that Kingons tend to get promoted by assassinating their commanders. How the frick things like a Gamma Quadrant planetary survey mission get done under these conditions is unfathomable. The Klingons found some kind of ancient alien historical archive and it somehow causes people to reenact ancient historical events, presumably this was supposed to happen under more controlled circumstances than we see happening here.

There are two good things about this episode: the first is the subtle way the characters are afffected by the archive- they retain their sense of selves and their motivations seem consistent with their previously established characters. Kira's initial reasons for toppling Sisko is that she thinks he and the Federation are a threat to Bajor, Dax is an old man who is full of reminiscences and Obrien is a chippy and bad tempered Irish shit. The second reason is Kira being crazy hot. I never remember finding Nana Visitor this attractive before but, God-she is sexy AF and some of her antics in this episode are particularly coom-worthy.

God I wish I was Quark right here...

Avery Brooks is quite good doing Sisko's Nero act in this episode (Brooks was always better playing bad guys) and it causes him to make a strange alien clock instead of playing a fiddle. the clock was a really nice prop and we often see it in the background in his office during subsequent episodes:

Possibility of making a Starshit hole

I'm thinking we need to have a hole dedicated to SciFi TV and movies- particularly shows like old school Star Trek, Stargate etc. I'd be willing to put 50,000 DC towards it if other people could help raise the other half of the cost. I also have no ability with CSS or banner creation. IDK, what do you think?

Indians are not East Asian. https://t.co/noO7l59aK9 pic.twitter.com/kGBm2ltoYj

— 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫 𝐊𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐋𝐞𝐞 (@badazn) December 27, 2024

Lmao random Indian women vs average Korean women'before 100 surgery pic.twitter.com/NiSh4XzfbW

— Vikram (@Vikram98655) December 27, 2024

Korean racism on this app is the funniest one. It's basically p*mping your women to white men to cope with your inferiority complex that you'll never be white, no matter how much quintal plastic you wear.

Also comparing a 70 year old govt official to 20 year old insta model… https://t.co/WwM2uut6ol

— Hindutva Knight (@HPhobiaWatch) December 27, 2024

youre telling me theres not one american who would take this job? pic.twitter.com/wiLlZIjson

— Magills (@magills_) December 28, 2024

I hate that. It's not the compliment they think it is, if they are even using it as a compliment. Why can't it just be said that they are attracted to ME? And are they attracted to me for me or because I'm fat? Like would they be into any fat girl? And I'd love to say it's only happened once or twice, but it's not. I feel like every guy who "likes" me feels obligated to say it. And it's men of different ages. Guys younger, my age, and recently a guy in his 70s. (I'm 50).

and recently a guy in his 70s. (I'm 50).

!foidmoment

Yes https://t.co/6Ow0KToTU6

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 28, 2024

Straight cis people are so political and always in our faces! I mean, after all, cis straight people should not be in a family movie — look at their divorce and domestic abuse rates. Think of the children!

Ever heard of botanical sexism? It teaches that the federal government told everyone to plant only male trees so we would all be dependent on capitalism because female trees give away fruit for free. pic.twitter.com/cnyRnUSjPk

— Richard Hanania (@RichardHanania) December 27, 2024