bottom text

Girl, you are so young- too young to be living such a miserable life.

Get all your ducks in a row and LEAVE HIM.

We're playing the turboneurodivergent Dawn of Civilization mod for Civilization IV that replicates world history. !g*mers !historychads

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

336AD, the Roman Empire is #1 in the world by far but the Roman Golden Age has concluded. We've just conquered Nubia. The Western Roman Empire more or less officially ended in 476AD when Odoacer deposed Romulus Augustus so we're coming up on the timeframe we're supposed to be dead.

We successfully avoided the Western Roman Empire/Eastern Roman Empire split but more civilizations are going to rise and attempt to fracture off of our existing territory. The Arabs are gonna spawn with a huge butt army ready to spread Islam (which we founded already in Egypt ) and the European powers are going to start cropping up.

I'll need to prepare for this and be ready to retake this shit at a moment's notice from armies leveraged against me.

My goal is to vassalize the European powers so I can benefit from their global colonization.

We've had a small archer regiment providing us contact with India but only now I've gotten a scout east who can pass through the Bengal rainforest to meet China.

They inexplicably hate us for existing as with everyone else in the world, but they're willing to trade. They offer jade and venison for our wine and dyes with a lil gold to sweeten the deal.

They seem to be doing well but we're still #1 in the world by far. Persia is the only empire that comes close to matching us technologically - only they can research something we haven't researched yet.

Persia also has a lot of gold. I might trade them some technology for cash at benefit to them. This will improve relations, and I have a strong espionage network going with them so if they research something I don't have I can just steal it. Also, I predict the Arabs are going to BTFO them badly when they spawn.

With the money we gain from the tech trade, we can actually apply more espionage power to steal what they research. DEVIOUS!

With continued espionage harassment we get our first Great Spy, Locusta*. If a civilization were far ahead of us we could send her to infiltrate for a huge boost, but as we're top dog I'll settle her in Roma for a permanent +12 espionage and small science boost that will continue throughout history. +12 is quite significant early on, so this is pretty advantageous.

_{*This is a particularly cool article I recommend reading}

The dipshit Ethiopians continue to be difficult, despite everything we've done for them. Repeated Catholic missions to them have been failures and even the Catholic presence in Aksum eventually disappears. They will not bend from Orthodoxy. Even more insulting is that they've now sworn fealty to Persia. It's like they think we're a threat to them. All we've done is help them out and attempt to bring them peacefully into the Catholic faith.

They are officially a lost cause. No salvation for them.

Fine, because I have a new black best friend, the pagan Mande in West Africa

After researching Compass I'm able to pass ships through Cape Verde Peninsula and send a mission to Djoboro

I can't wait to spread the word of Christ and have a new Catholic brother!!!

Barbarians start to swarm about 400AD. The Roman Roads are a godsend as I can get my dudes quickly from one place to another as different areas get pounded. Byzantion as an espionage stronghold allows me to send spies out use the Citizenship bribery mechanic, this felt like a gimmick but it's actually super useful here. Just like irl I'm able to pay off the huns to spare Constantinople + I get free Hunnic Horse Archers to fight back with

By 450 it's a full on barbarian invasion

Did you know a !foidmoment almost caused the fall of Rome? In the 400s Valentinian III had a complete for a sister named Honoria. She was notorious for fricking and sucking around the Imperial palace and Valentinian graciously attempted to set her up with a nice senator while he was attempting to fend off the pillaging of hunnic warlord Attila. Honoria was pissed off by this and wrote a gushy love letter to Attila the Hun out of spite.

The Meeting of Leo the Great and Attila by Raphael

Attila interpreted this letter as a marriage proposal and invaded Italy directly aiming to claim the seat of Rome, which he felt he gained a rightful claim to. Pope Leo I the Great met with Attila personally and somehow persuaded him to back off.

Our stability is okay, but definitely starting to dip. Okay is not good enough for what's coming. As always, military and foreign trickle down with the rest of the world being buttholes and barbarians up in our shit. Economy and expansion are not booming anymore.

Our treasury is doing alright but could be improved (right now we're running 40% research funding). Domestic could be improved easily with some civic changes.

We've researched Feudalism and now have another Legitimacy civic available to us. We don't have much reason to run Citizenship at this point, other than bribing barbarians, but our military is now spread out enough to deal with them. Vassalage is lower upkeep with compatibility with Thalassocracy. This + the unit upkeep will get us about 30 more GP per turn. We also change to Caste System like we should have ages ago, since Slavery is outdated.

Last time I won by researching "Civil Service" first, completing the final historic victory condition. I undid this so that I could attempt a Space victory instead. We're getting to a point where I'm running out of shit to research OTHER than Civil Service and the Sassanids, our only near-equal won't research it either

This is kinda funny and forcing me to do things differently. I'm going to discover Gunpowder much earlier than I thought and get stronger artillery. "Civil Service" obsoletes our Legion so I have 100s more of those running around (which is good, they're based). But these slackers really need to research it soon so I can fail

I'll have to help these idiots out a little and sell them another tech at an absurdly generous price.

~472-480AD Ostrogoths pop up right outside Rome. I think this is meant to represent Odacer or Theodoric, right on schedule. The precision put into this mod is

I wasn't expecting this but I have knights (Lancers) in Roma at this point

The game does not appreciate that I survived Theodoric. Charlemagne and France spawn as an independent kingdom, taking Paris away from us.

Bourdeoux and Clermont secede too, and we must fight to get them back.

Remember how when Rome spawned we were given a great military advantage? Well now France gets it and I have to pull assault forces from everywhere in the empire to recapture it.

How's that for a Stack of Doom motherlovers

France's doomstack is defeated by my gigadoomstack and I recapture Clermont. France cannot capitulate for some reason Probably a DoC thing for new civilizations. I don't remember all the rules. I think once "Rise of the French" ends they can become a vassal. I don't want to annihilate them, my goal is to have them become a vassal and take advantage of their colonization. For now, I've taken back a city, taken out their army and shown them who's boss.

I'm fine with just holding Clermont as it gives me foot access to Iberia. I just need to get Roman culture flowing fast.

This will be the first of many as new civs start to spawn.

The Vikings/Norse have arrived for example and introduced themselves in England. They may start to raid, but no threat of secession here.

However, around 600AD a certain guy who cannot be depicted visually is born in the Arabian Peninusla

Egypt and the Levant is lost Most of my army is kicked out and expelled to Knossos in Crete. I don't have enough boats to pick them up in, so they're stranded on Crete for a while

Conquering Nubia turns out to have been a good idea because it's outside of the flip zone, and gives us a southern vector for attack.

Next time: crusades

Next

!germs

Top Drama

Relative Drama (takes into account the size of the subreddit)

autodrama: returning jobs to dramneurodivergents. Ping HeyMoon if there are any problems or you have a suggestion

also https://archive.is/7gmHU

Not copypasting the whole article, but nice fleet dorks:

Almost as soon as the Caleb entered the Pillar Point Harbor in the summer 2017, its crew ran into trouble, leading to the San Mateo County Harbor District filing a lawsuit against Danielson and Powell. The first time the U.S. Coast Guard boarded the tugboat for an inspection, the agency warned Danielson about the dangers of anchoring the dilapidated vessel, which carried 3,000 gallons of diesel fuel.

Danielson signed papers acknowledging her obligations under the Clean Water Act. But neighbors had already lodged complaints about the Caleb being docked illegally and storing 500 gallons of oily bilge water, court records show.

The Coast Guard called the boat "an imminent threat to the public health" and ordered the owners to finalize a mitigation plan. Rough seas in winter 2017 sent the tug into other anchored vessels, damaging them, the lawsuit stated.

By December 2017, Danielson had registered two more boats at Pillar Point Harbor, including the Islander that she and LaSota once shared and a boat called the Letoile de Mer. Over the next year, the vessels all faced anchor problems, and other harbor tenants raised concerns that the massive tug might ram them, harbor officials said.

A former employee at the harbor, who asked to remain anonymous out of concerns for his safety, described the vessel as less than seaworthy and its "shabby" crew as a nuisance.

"Feral humans we called them," the employee said. "They're just living, trying to get away with whatever they can under the wire. Most harbors have them, harbor rats that are just living the alternative lifestyle."

When the employee boarded the vessel to inspect it, he said the living quarters were a "mess." He recalled seeing s*x toys and lingerie in "plain view" in one of the bunkrooms. "It was filthy," he said. "They weren't hiding anything, that's for sure."

Back at Pillar Point, the Caleb's troubles mounted. In 2021, San Mateo County authorities determined the boat was no longer seaworthy and ordered the owners to remove it. No owner responded and its anchor continued to drag. Then in early 2022, winter storms tossed the boat around the harbor, endangering other vessels. No one responded to radio calls to the Caleb, the district alleged in a lawsuit.

The night of March 12, 2022, Danielson and her crew moved the Caleb to the harbor's work dock, but staff explained the boat was too large to be there, harbor officials said. "Danielson and crew got into a vehicle and drove off and have not been seen at (Pillar Point Harbor) or near the Caleb since," the harbor district's lawsuit stated.

The Caleb had been abandoned. The harbor district, records show, wound up paying a marine salvage company to remove hazardous materials from the boat and anchor it away from the dock.

A few months later, in August 2022, LaSota faked her own death.

While Danielson and LaSota haven't been seen at the harbor in three years, their legacy — a 345-ton heap of metal waste — rests near the community of Princeton-by-the-Sea and the cliffs of Mavericks Beach.

Harbor District General Manager Jim Pruett said the price tag for removing the ship would be about $2 million. It's a big ask for an agency with an annual budget of $13 million, Pruett said, so he's applying for grants to shoulder the cost.

Even for a professional fighter Bryce Mitchell is one of the dumbest motherlovers on the planet lol

The international standing of the US is literally never going to recover https://t.co/k21jJ9fv0z

— #1 Venlil Enjoyer (@EmpressThaliaa) January 27, 2025

Like I don't mean to be overdramatic, but this is straight up the end of the American century

— #1 Venlil Enjoyer (@EmpressThaliaa) January 27, 2025

It’s the fact that Americans have 0 idea how important it is that America has so many Allie’s around the world that Trump is just now cutting off one by one for absolutely no reason because he failed to communicate.

— You were warned 🇺🇸🇺🇸 (@Rickie99_) January 27, 2025

I can’t believe we’re burning down the world for literally no reason. I am never forgiving republicans

— Flaming (@FlamingAUS) January 27, 2025

me when i have to end my alliances built up over a century because i'm bored

— Amadán (@Mr_Elephant2004) January 27, 2025

its true lol. i think many countries are going to rely far less on the us now

the hostility is insane, the amount of people on here who act like its deserved and shows the us is strong is insane aha. comes across as incredibly petty and weak

— pierbi (@pierbiwierbi) January 27, 2025

pic.twitter.com/ZGWLGeZGjq

— Jan202021 (@Dixie202021) January 27, 2025

losing power in the global south speed run (new record: 6 days)

— SandstormRefrigerator (@Pokemonprimed) January 27, 2025

Yeah, it's basic diplomacy. America would lose badly in Sid Meyer's Civ right now.

— Tom (@iamtomgranger) January 27, 2025

Anyway remittances from the US account for 3% of Colombia's GDP so a single deportation flight is pretty devastating to their national economy. And the threats worked immediately

https://www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/2025/01/26/trump-colombia-deportation-flights-migrants-tariffs/

So we are thankfully not going to be deprived of all the many things Colombia exports here. I don't know what those things are besides coffee and cocaine but X (formerly Twitter) informs me it's a lot and very important. Crisis averted.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42902740

I really, really, REAAALLY wanna drink right now, but I have a super promising date tomorrow, so I can't

But I'm defo going to the casino and getting fricking wasted after the date, regardless of how it goes (It's just our first date)

Are you drinking, frens?

!metashit :D

Current HP: 117/120

Current Mana: 160/180

Inventory:

• 1 Cookie

• 5 Marleycoins

I'll find as it shows up.

Trump will be sentenced on the 10th.

He's guilty of 34 counts of falsifying business records. Those are class E nonviolent felonies in which carry a maximum penalty of 4 years in jail.

So make your bets:

Enter BetDrumpf will be sentenced to jail time. Lock him up! - 7 bets

Enter BetNo jail time, but total fines in excess of two million dollars. - 72 bets

Enter BetProbation (since he's a first time offender) - 25 bets

Enter BetSome other slap on the wrist, like a chump change fine or something, idk. - 339 bets - WINNER!

Enter BetDeath penalty! Off with his head! Death death DEATH - 7 bets

!bets !project2025 closed

Artist is @ corndoggylol on twitter. Stalk him with a follow if you want to, child.

Goodbye Regular season. By my spreadsheet that was 272 NFL games you could bet on, meaning a single bet/game (which I did) would mean you risked 54,400 . Being a savy better (like me) you surely got some return on investment. Over the season I netted +573 (week 18 killed me), so with all that risk and reward I'm up 1.053%! Look out for me Wall Street! I'm also -43,200 on Dramacoin scholarships to anyone who asked for money to gamble, while I never asked for anyone to pay it back @Freak-Off did to the tune of 12,600 dc essentially borrowed. You can see that I'm a true financial megamind.

Playoff time: 4 threads left & 13 games left to bet on- WildCard (6), Divisional (4), Conference (2), and Super Bowl (1)

Here's the bracket- your team is in it. Right, anon?

If you weren't in it, your team surely is shaking off some dead weight and acquiring new talent so next year can be your year. Happy Black Monday, you got it champ! I was going to find a nice list of all the firings, but haven't found one yet. We'll see if that changes.

pings: !mensfootball !goomblers !bets @BILLYBIGBOLLOCKS @Freak-Off @Drippo @SpudsMackenzie

Wild card weekend is 2 Saturday games (4:30 & 8), 3 Sunday games (1, 4:30, 8), and 1 Monday Night Game (8)

2 Points of order

1. Regular Season MVP betting is still open. Voting will be open until the announcements prior to the super bowl because why not.

2. I'm doing one bonus bet in this thread only! Of the 14 teams in the playoffs, pick the Super Bowl Champion. This will close prior to the first game at SATURDAY JAN 11TH 4:00 EASTERN TIME (US)

Who will be the Super Bowl LIX Winner

Enter BetAFC-1 Chiefs (15-2) - 32 bets

Enter BetNFC-1 Lions (15-2) - 47 bets

Enter BetAFC-2 Bills (13-4) - 16 bets

Enter BetNFC-2 Eagles (14-3) - 26 bets - WINNER!

Enter BetAFC-3 Ravens (12-5) - 20 bets

Enter BetNFC-3 Buccaneers (10-7) - 5 bets

Enter BetAFC-4 Texans (10-7) - 4 bets

Enter BetNFC-4 Rams (10-7) - 7 bets

Enter BetAFC-5 Chargers (11-6) - 3 bets

Enter BetNFC-5 Vikings (14-3) - 4 bets

Enter BetAFC-6 Steelers (10-7) - 6 bets

Enter BetNFC-6 Commanders (formerly Football Team (formerly Redskins)) (12-5) - 5 bets

Enter BetAFC-7 Broncos (10-7) - 7 bets

Enter BetNFC-7 Packers (11-6) - 4 bets

I was really lazy this week and didn't save much of anything clip related. Here's more of the duck from that Buccaneers game

closed

I'm sorry

How did I just get the most golden clip without prompting... pic.twitter.com/K7qO0pmZLt

— DosXXMachina (@DuosEquis) January 30, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Chinese national who organises pro-Palestine rallies at UCLA, Liu Lijun, has just had her visa revoked

The Trump admin isn’t playing about. pic.twitter.com/DdozRjzE6n

— Inevitable West (@Inevitablewest) January 31, 2025

!asians is that at least like a Uyghur name? Do Uyghurs look different then Han?

Okay so this is just a full on Chinese. Weird!