Second in a series of helpful how-to posts.

Last time we talked about how to get shitloads of dramacoin the old-fashioned way, but what if you're a lazy piece of shit and you just want to get lots of DC quickly? Enter gambling: this top secret backdoor is a way to rapidly unlock thousands of coins that would otherwise have required tedious hours of quality posting.

The casino here offers several different games of chance: roulette, slots, blackjack and the lottershe. For our purposes, we're only concerned with slots because that's the best one to shit up threads with publicly. If you post !slots1234 (or w/e number) you'll wager that much money on your post. If you win, just like at the casino in Monaco or Macao, lots of other people will see you win and they'll think you're cool and want to have sex with you. It's just like Monte Carlo, except instead of lucky gamblers shagging models in their lambos, you'll have dramautists crawling up in your DMs begging to suck your cock for DC. (This is true even if you don't have a cock or you've deprecated it, damautists won't check before they promise the succs-for-bucks)

Okay, so with that out of the way, how do you rack up impressive winnings like mine?

The number one secret is only gamble when you're pretty sure you're going to win.

If you've got a good feeling, or you're on a hot streak, or you're posting in a lucky thread: lots of rare Marseys, or golden flashing ones, or if everyone else is already winning big, you should try to get in on that action, too.

Sometimes you are going to lose, and that's just how chance works. The other important thing is make small bets when you're going lose and save your biggest bets for the ones that will pay off. For example, maybe you lose two or three 300 DC bets, but that will just angry up Chaos because she knows you're not serious and you're betting like a pussy. So then as an apology you'll want to bet big, like 5, 10, 15,000 to show you mean it - but don't do it unless you're going to win. If you keep winning 10,000 DC bets and losing 200 DC ones, you can see how the math works out.

Try to get in good with random number generators. The Mersenne Twister and I go way back: we used to fool around back in college and it was all basically innocent but everyone knows Twister has always been a little kinky and it's true. If you get on her good side, she will pay off in spades. Not that many people understand this, but gambling on a computer pretty much comes down to /dev/random and so if random numbers love you, then you will consistently win at gambling.

If all those tips don't work, and you're still a loser, you should try praying. Specifically, you should pray to become more like me...

...because being specially blessed and favored by the Lord God Almighty and her favorite boy, the Son of Man can come in handy in all walks of life, but one area where it especially pays off is at the slot machine.

Thank you. I will not be taking any questions from the panel. !wincels please explain it to the losers if they don't understand.

does it make me malebrained if i would take it, turn it into crypto and go to thailand?

Youre not a hobbylet, right?

VELMACHUDS, WE ARE SO FRICKING BACK

!dramatards !r-slurs

Side note: Feelin cute and might delete later.

Background: Reddit gave jannies tools to stop evil bad faith posterers from keeping their bad faith posts visible to the poor innocent readers of the Redditsphere. If you downvote a thread enough, you can get a post removed. Joe Truax the /r/GuyCry grifter scammer, has it set to remove a thread if it gets enough downvotes. Joe Truax has gotten several accounts banned, so he is ban evading on any new account. Lil ol' me always stalks his profiles and gets him banned, and he recently had another meth fueled meltdown on his /u/PromoterOfGOOD account. He had a sneaky janny account /u/Dry-Ad-9597 that was also ban evading and got banned. Teeeheeee Getting jannies banned makes me so happy.

From what I can tell, you can get a post removed if it reaches 50% downvoted. On a big sub, you couldn't get a thread to 50% just with a few alts. but on a small sub you can get a thread to 50% easy.

This thread is an example. It was up for only an hour before it got downvoted to 50% and auto-removed. I frickin love AI!

ETA: Frick he got it re-approved. Still though, Reddit crowd control AI is frickin amazing shit to harass Redditors with.

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

When we'll get the gameplay duh im tired of these posts (2)

When we get the gameplay duh what? I don't need to see gameplay to know how to build her, I can read her kit and make my own determinations. If you don't like people discussing Sam on the Sam subreddit then step to another sub (-9)

Basedness: 🔥🔘🔘🔘🔘

yeah i don't know why people are trying to force crit play style, i've seen it with other characters too. i personally find new play styles fun and they keep the game fresh (5)

bc superbreak fly sucks butt. it lows her ceiling then why would anyone play ff over boothill. she looks like a boothill wannabe when hybrid is her identity. thats why they divided 250/360 too.critfly is easy to play ditch hmc and use 2/2 atk set and get 250 be. that way u get 180 speed and get 80% crit rate with misha lc. (-1)

Basedness: 🔥🔘🔘🔘🔘

Do guys realize multipliers aren't the sole reason that makes crit good but also the dmg% and/or crit buffs in the kit… of which firefly has none (2)

In addition to high multipliers, FF also has high base attack, self speed boost, self 2 turn energy regen, def shred, and weakness implant (ie res shred). All of which are multipliers for a crit build. With high BE for added effect. You're right that she doesn't have dmg% or crit buffs in the kit. She just has everything else. (0)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡🔘🔘🔘

To me people insisting on going Critfly over hitting BE breakpoint is the equivalent of if Dhil mains insisted on going Break build just because his 3BA has the highest non-ult toughness damage in the game. "You can keep breaking with dhil bro trust, join the darkside" (39)

300% break DHIL to stall the enemies in G&G for my superbreak damage My goals are beyond your understanding (7)

Angriness: 😡😡🔘🔘🔘

im just curious if sam does damage mainly by break then why does he have such high multipliers on attacks? wouldnt boothill be better since he's just all out breaking? (4)

Angriness: 😡😡🔘🔘🔘

In addition to high multipliers, FF also has high base attack, self speed boost, self 2 turn energy regen, def shred, and weakness implant (ie res shred). All of which are multipliers for a crit build. With high BE for added effect. You're right that she doesn't have dmg% or crit buffs in the kit. She just has everything else. (0)

If only it were that simple…. 1) to meet the conditions to access the def shred you need at least 250 Break effect, which is already subtracting from the crit rolls available to you, you're already on the back foot2) def shred and vulnerability multiply your final dmg meaning they scale better the more dmg% and crit you build. If the initial damage in the formula is low af, higher multipliers won't mean anything. I'll paint you a picture 51 is lesser 33. There needs to be a balance between multiplier and dmg%/crit. Or your def shred and vulnerability are just going to be working with peanuts3)2 turn energy Ult to enter enhanced state right, if you build her for crit you just turned her to Jingliu who gets her Enhanced state in 2 turns as well.But your fire Jingliu has no crit rate buff nor self atk buff making it a watered down version with less actions per enhanced state. (3)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/Nunu5617

Score: 🐮🔘🔘🔘🔘

Number of comments: 4

Average angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

Maximum angriness: 😡😡🔘🔘🔘

Minimum angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

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You either die a Kennedy with a hole in the brain or live long enough to become a Kennedy with a hole in the brain.

— Rep. Mike Collins (@RepMikeCollins) May 8, 2024

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1629538776111280130

Lots of great comment threads under it too, pure