This is a topic dear to me, and one I struggle to write about. For years I identified as asexual. To this day, I am still trying to make sense of why I did so, and what my feelings were at the time. It was not a farce - I genuinely believed I lacked any source of sexual attraction.

I think part of it is just having a low libido. That is to say, my interest in s*x is low, but not non-existent. Secondly, Being asexual is the less painful route. To be a heterosexual male is to expose yourself to a world of rejection and of finding common ground with women. I don't think most women understand how terrifying they are, and how crippling the thought of talking to them is. It feels like a life or death situation, especially if you have social anxiety to top things off.

Lastly, I do believe that sexuality is fluid and can change over one's lifetime. I think some may disagree with me on this one. What I am arguing is that, for example, a lesbian woman might find herself developing an attraction to men in her thirties, either due to changing neurochemistry or improved self-knowledge. For others, it may be a case of sexuality influenced by trauma which, once overcome, reveals a different sexuality.

Might environment play a role? We've all heard of the concept of being prison gay? Personally, I don't believe that environment plays a significant role in sexuality, at least not outside of the womb. I think youngsters might try on different sexualities in their teens and twenties, but this does not represent their true biological sexuality. For example, a woman might experiment with another woman during her first year of university because she's in an environment where the LGBT kids seem to be the cool ones, but she never experiences true sexual attraction to women. Remember, actions are not the same as attraction.

With that out the way, I think we can begin this discussion. It's going to be a long one, but when have my posts ever been short?

What is asexuality?

One of the earliest mentions of the term “asexual” can be found in Lisa Orlandos's Asexual Manifesto written in 1972. This is a feminist text in which women declare that they want relationships in which s*x is not a factor. As the text explains:

Consequently, the feminist roots of the sexuality cannot be denied. Though the sexuality may have existed before 1972, the way we understand it today is almost entirely forged by feminist discourse and of course the concept of "political asexuality" where one chooses to be asexual. This concept sits alongside "political lesbianism". I reject both concepts and assert that one cannot choose their sexuality and that reducing sexuality to the theoretical political realm is to foolishly ignore the material biological realm.

Asexuality is not celibacy. One chooses to be celibate but one does not choose to be asexual and therefore is essentially asexual. Of course, as I did, one can mistakenly believe they are asexual. This is also true of women who are unable to engage in penetrative heterosexual s*x due to chronic pain, and of disabled people.

In many ways, asexuality shares commonalities with the various members of the LGBT community. Roughly 1.05% of the population claim they have never felt sexual attraction to anyone at all. Some, though not all, studies suggest that more women than men are asexual.

So Are Asexuals Sick?

When research was done, it was found that asexual men had higher rates of mood disorders than heterosexual men; asexual women and men had higher rates of anxiety than heterosexual men and women. These researchers also provided evidence suggesting that asexuality can be conceptualized as or akin to Schizoid personality type from the Diagnostic Statistical Manual, 4th Edition (DSM-IV). Specifically, asexual people endorsed greater social inhibition, and coldness/social distance with vindictive and exploitable personality styles. To explain this finding, researchers postulate that asexual people have avoidant attachment styles as children that may have led to relationship issues as adults.

Thus, researchers concluded that asexuality may not be the cause of these factors but may be a product of social functioning. Specifically, “increased mental health problems may be a consequence of discrimination or a consequence of lacking sexual attraction in an environment that is arguably centered on sexuality”. Taken together, these studies demonstrate that asexual individuals may also experience psychological distress as a consequence of their marginalization.

It has been suggested that those who lack sexual attraction but have yet to find community may experience more isolation, distress, and confusion. In other words, individuals who have yet to “come out” as asexual, may be in greater distress than those who have reached an integrated asexual identity.

With that being said, Several papers have shown connections between the presence of the asexual phenotype and traits that are found in mental illness patients, specifically those with Asperger's syndrome or Schizoid personality disorder.

The Sexual Assumption

I know those who dare to even open this post will already be sneeding, ready to assert that asexuality isn't real. This is something asexual people are used to. It is known as the sexual assumption. Humans are considered to be creatures with innate sexual desires. Consequently, one of the most pervasive social assumptions is that all humans have sexual desires. This sexual assumption manifests in various fields of knowledge such as psychology and medicine where sexuality is seen as a natural, healthy, and essential aspect of the human. Tell your doctor you're asexual, they'll probably think you're sick. The same goes for your psychiatrist. One of the people you can blame for this is Sigmund Freud who had a huge influence on psychology but assigned a sexual basis to basically every aspect of human psychology.

According to research, these are the common assumptions about asexuals:

individuals who identify as asexual cannot fall in love, do not have s*x, have been the victim of sexual abuse, have chosen to be celibate or abstinent, are not attracted to anyone, just need to find the right person, are sociopaths or nonfeeling, are sexually deviant, are sexually frustrated, are denying their feelings, do not masturbate, do not enjoy any sexual activity, will be/live single/alone forever, or that the asexual orientation is just not real

The consequences of this should not be ignored or taken. Research by Cara MacInnes et al reveals that “sexual desire is considered a key component of human nature, and those lacking it are viewed as relatively deficient, less human, and disliked”. In a questionnaire distributed among undergraduate students, “asexuals were attributed significantly lower uniquely human traits than any other sexual orientation group”. Yes, if you're asexual, you're seen as less human than others.

Thanks to folks like Freud, furthermore, asexuality is often pathologized and seen as a detrimental deviation from a normative mode of being which can cause mental health issues. Some asexuals are led to believe they are sick and have hypoactive sexual desire disorder.

As I'm sure you know, underlying the sexual assumption is the concept of compulsory heterosexuality. Compulsory heterosexuality can be defined as the assumption that heterosexuality is the default sexuality. This idea permeates society due to the manifold ways it is enforced both subtly and overtly. The assumption that all people are innately heterosexual is fraught with problems as it results in all other sexual orientations being erased, pathologized, or seen as deviancies which must be corrected.

In the next few sections, we'll have a look at whether asexuals are discriminated against. Is anyone being oppressed for not fricking?!

The Weirdness of Asexuality

I would argue that asexuality challenges society's construction of humans as inherently sexual and hence can be thought of as anarchic. While asexual marriages have never been specifically outlawed, definitions of marriage typically assume sexual activity between spouses. In some US states, for example, nonconsummation of a marriage is a ground for voiding the marriage. Fortunately, it has never been illegal to have asexual inclinations. Thus, while asexuals may face problems in their personal lives, they have never had to counter any legally enforced oppression.

Similar religious prohibitions of asexual marriage can be found in faith systems such as Christianity where, in 1 Corinthians 7, it is written that “each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband”. The verse goes on to instruct married couples to only abstain temporarily, and for the sake of prayer, after which they should return to their marriage duties lest they be tempted by Satan.

Such laws and religious doctrines assume sexual activity as an integral part of marriage and consequently make asexual marriages anarchic.

The anarchic qualities of asexuality are not limited to State laws and their religious appendages, however. Broadly speaking, anarchy can be defined as a movement that attempts to, as Noam Chomsky writes, “dismantle […] forms of authority and oppression”. One of the forms of oppression anarchy hopes to dismantle is representation. While many view anarchism as a movement that opposes the representation of democracy, as Cohn explains, “anarchism extends its opposition to ‘any form of representation'”. Asexuality, by defying the sexual assumption, has the potential to be an identity that opposes prevailing human representations.

So how does one wield this anarchic power? We can learn from Judith Butler. She tells a story of once walking the streets and having someone, in a derogatory tone, ask her if she's a lesbian. Butler's response? Why yes I am! Don't fear to embrace your uniqueness!

In a way, asexuals are the ultimate rebels. They refuse to create new life, or even to reproduce the social and cultural continuity in the form of a heterosexual monogamous marriage. By not producing future consumers and producers of economic goods, asexuals partake in social non-productivity and take economic advantage of the well-adjusted elements of society, and this is based in my books. Anyone still reading?

Asexuality and Race

I am a black man, which made it harder for me to identify as asexual. Historically, black men have been hypersexualized (think https://BLACKED.com), thus the asexual label is seen as incongruent. Associations of black males with hypersexuality can be traced back to early colonial discourse where blackness was associated with savagery and primitivity. Hence, the hypersexuality of the black male was simply another way of framing the black male as bestial, crude, and less civilized than the white colonisers. This strong association of black males with hypersexuality poses a problem for black males who are asexual, as it represents a contradiction. They are rendered illegible, as language has not created a non-contradictory means for such individuals to describe themselves.

Fortunately, as a 5 foot 1 male, I am seldom sexualized, so when I identified as asexual, it was not questioned all too much regardless of my race.

It should be noted that hypersexuality is inflicted upon all men to some degree. Hence, being an asexual male invites prejudice regardless of your race. masculinity and sexuality are so inextricably knotted together that when men face sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction, they see it as a loss of manhood. Consequently, asexuality in men is much more pathologized than in women. My research reveals that "identifying as asexual (or more precisely, their disinterest in attracting a sexual partner) meant they felt they did not have to conform to particular gendered standards of appearance". As a male who wears a LOT of pink and paints his nails, yes being asexual freed me of the notion of having to look masculine.

Asexuality and Media

As you can imagine, asexuality is seldom represented in our hypersexualized media landscape. Due to the limited awareness of asexuality, relatively few asexual characters can be found in literature and even less can be found which could be considered as examples of positive representation. The absence of positive asexual characters can have an alienating effect on those who identify as asexual and find themselves in a culture that promotes sexuality as a normal part of human existence.

AVEN

I'd like to end off by discussing AVEN. No, not the creator of this site. I'm talking about the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network which has been pivotal in the asexuality movement. There is currently underway a small social movement, perhaps akin to the gay rights movement of the 1960s and 1970s, which has brought together people who identify as asexual.

It was founded in 2001 by David Jay as a place for asexuals to interact, and for people to share resources regarding asexuality. AVEN facilitates not only asexual identities but also conveys the importance of ‘legitimizing' asexuality as a biological or innate characteristic, not as a choice like celibacy. For many asexual individuals, the internet has facilitated the discovery, not only of a language by which to describe themselves and a community that offers support and acceptance but also a way of thinking about their asexuality as an essential characteristic of themselves. No, this doesn't mean the internet is turning people ace.

According to David Jay, sexual people who identify as highly s*x-positive, after overcoming their initial skepticism about asexuality, often end up the strongest allies and supporters of asexuals, and those who are asexual find the site to be a place of solace.

Conclusion

I deeply miss being asexual. It was safe. Women weren't scary to me. Since dropping the label, I have felt this intense pressure to fulfill heterosexual obligations such as finding a partner and having s*x. However, as a truecel, it could be the case that it'll never happen. I heard my neighbors have s*x this evening. It felt like a gut punch.

I did try to tell a girl I like her but it failed. The worst part is that we're still friends and she constantly talks about the love we share for each other and how special our friendship is. It hurts so bad. I don't want to be your friend, I want to be your boyfriend. Why do women do this? You know I have a crush on you, I literally told you and you turned me down, yet you talk about how much you love me. Do you know what that does to my emotions?!

Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. Sorry for the longpost. It was either this or harm myself with something in the house. My thoughts aren't racing so much anymore and the self-harm compulsions have quietened a bit. I only slept for about an hour and a half. On Wednesday, my psychologist suspected I'm entering hypomania and it seems so. She said it's dangerous because it's followed by depression so I have to be careful and that it's exacerbated by a lack of sleep but I don't feel like I need sleep.

If you read this whole thing, I'm impressed.

This thread caught my attention recently:

Constantly fapping on my aunt

I (25M) is lusting for my aunt (50F). I am constantly fapping on her whenever I am extremely hard. Cant help myself out of it whenever I go to her place. I was about to ask her out for it but then controlled somehow and used the bathroom to fap.

Edit : Thanks for judging me well in the comments guys. But I'd really appreciate it if your words help me to get rid of this situation.

OP is Indian, no surprise there. The English is a dead giveaway, but anyone with enough colonial blood in them will notice that this precise blend of diseased sexuality and genuine r-sluration combined with willful ignorance of the way reality works could only come out of the subcontinent. The entirety of Hindoo culture over however many centuries has culminated in a society whose only success is producing mass amounts of exactly this kind of vile scrote. /r/nofap is a magnet for these kinds of people, being that you by definition need to have been a porn addict at some point in order to quit porn, and that the Hindoo's conservative values stops him from taking up the libertine worldview of, say, an autogynephile, and embracing his sexual pathology as a part of daily life.

The result of this is that every comment that isn't a Goku reaction gif is telling OP that none of this is his fault. After all, how can he be expected to control his urges or take any responsibility for his actions whatsoever after being introduced to the destructive mind virus that is pornography?

I don't wanna be one of those mfs who gonna make fun of you and judge, porn addiction can really frick you up. I advise you seek professional help dude, I hope the best for ya.

I agree with you. It's not right to make fun of OP, & while he does have a problem there's a lot of us who've gotten into messed up stuff because of porn. I think looking at femdom has warped my view of women.

When i was a teenager, i just kept this shit to myself.

When I was a teenager, I didn't have thoughts like these. Huh, weird!

Anyway, the real interesting thing about this post is that it introduced me to the Bizarro alternate universe of Indian gooners. The first thing on OP's profile that caught my attention was him comenting "🍆" under a post titled "Drop a 🍆 if your peepee is longer than 4 inches 👀💦" on a subreddit called /r/BangaloreGW. I found this really funny. My intuition is that if I was a Western pornstar making a post like this, I'd make the cutoff 6 inches: common enough to get loads of comments to boost engagement, but just big enough for people to feel a need to comment. For Bangaloreans, though, the cutoff is 2 inches smaller, and I think I know the reason. It's not just that they have smaller peepees, but also because they can't tell they're being held to deliberately low standards. So instead of choosing just barely above the average, like in my previous example, this woman picks just barely below the average. Genius!

This insight into the Indian mind is all well and good, but the fun really starts when you get to /r/ShagOnHotties, one of OP's absolute favorite subs. I opened this because of the hilariously r-slurred name, expecting that "shagon" was actually just a Hindi TV network or something, but I was wrong. The sidebar describes it as "A place where people can have fun time with each other while shagging on hotties" and the titles are fricking amazing. Here are the top three posts of all time:

Spreading legs wide with camera fully focused on her c*nt, Only a Shameless Gutterpig like Moroccan Hooker Nora Fatehi can do it. Besharam Mulli Chinaal

Kriti Kutti Sanon shifting her nipples sidewards and erecting it upright in no time just by the touch of a man. Just imagine how slutty she will be when no one is around her or when she is surrounded by Bulls. Nymphomaniac C*nt

Shraddha Kapoor red bikini show in HD 🥵 see this and jerk hard guys ✊ coz shraddha really deserves our thick white ropes of c*m 💦 Ahhh saali randi ne pagal kar diya iss movie ke baad 🤩 saala thethre Mai jaake dekhi aur waha tak muth mari maine 😩 kitni maal hai yeh Ind version of lana rhoades

What the frick is wrong with Indians?!?! Gooning is a very high-concept, almost postmodern fetish (masturbating to the idea of masturbating to the idea of masturbating, etc.), so you'd expect Indians to have to make some compromises when embracing it, but this is just so bizzare. It's so... childish? And their tenuous grasp on English vulgarity makes it even better. A "shameless gutterpig"??? How the frick do you come up with this stuff. It reminds me of that video of Lou Reed reading porn ads, except somehow even worse.

Here's another post, which was the first one I saw when I opened the front page:

Bong Raands have the Phattest Butt out there in the entire country, Which is aptly shown by this Cumrag of a Whore Tridha who shamelessly teasing men around her to gape her butthole with multiple peepees cumming inside her in Beach itself.

What a fricking beautifully constructed sentence. Truly Joycean.

And here are two more, which I think, more than anything else I've linked, sum up the Indian male consciousness. If there's one thing I want you to get out of this post, it can be gathered in whole from what I'm about to show you:

Moroccan Raand Nora fatehi jiggling her Phat Butt which can take multiple BBCs, giving a look back on who is staring that fat butt and recording her Butt jiggle. Her erect Nipples are the Perfect Indication of a Rough Gangbang in the vanity van moments before she comes out whoring her Meaty Butt

Priyanka is representing indian desi brown girls in true sense infront of whole world. When you don't get appreciation in your country, just spread that brown kitty infront of white peepees. Still can't forget, how she brainwashed half of india to wear 'bra' instead of 'blouse' with saree in desi girl

And from comments on that second one:

she is the icon for all the brown whores spreading their legs for white peepees

I think these posts speak for themselves, but one thing I will add is that when searching the word "white" on /r/ShagOnHotties I got dozens of posts describing women as "milky white c*nts" and similar epiphets. Apparently being "milky white" is a very sought after trait amongst Indians. Also, the nofap guy whose porn habits I've been stalking tries to apply to jobs using his porn Reddit account. Well done, India, you manage to outdo yourself every time.

The word "Benzo" is used quite loosely, but different benzos can have considerably varying effects. In this thread, I'll try to explain them. It's a quick one and I don't give too much of a shit about quality. Normally I'd give an introduction on what benzos are along with a quick discussion concerning GABA receptors, but today is not that type of day. I currently have at least one of each benzo I'm about to mention, not necessarily from the same source but most are from one source. I've never bought them off the streets, all prescribed legally. My psychiatrist hands out benzo prescriptions all the time. He diagnosed me bipolar with ADHD and OCD.

On that note, I'd like to mention that I threw away my razors, but that's only heightened my intrusive thoughts of cutting myself. When I had the choice, there was some comfort in that. Now with no razors available, cutting myself is suddenly all I want to do. I may purchase new ones, get the slicing over and done with, then put them away.

Let's begin.

1. Midazolam

Personally, this is my favorite benzo. Its effects are pretty close to what people imagine when they think of benzos but this is a little different. Let's start with the basics, bucko. It'll put your butt to sleep. Maybe you can stay awake a bit at a low dose (15mg) but at 30mg your butt is grass in about twenty minutes or less.

When it hits you will not be able to walk. I repeat - your ability to walk will be disabled. You will fall everywhere, worse than a crippled man whose cane has been stolen. Whatever you're imagining, it's worse. Worse than a drunken teen who can't walk straight. This is more like swaying until your head hits the wall hard. During this time, you will feel euphoric. Enjoy it. I've found it's not really fun to listen to music or eat. Instead, have a pen and paper ready or a document open on your PC and try to record your thoughts. Half of it is nonsense, but you'll be surprised at the kinds of things that will surface - your kinks, past trauma, even your favorite video game lol.

Within the following ten minutes, your capacity to have memories will completely vanish. You will continue to do things, perhaps prepare a meal for yourself, send an unintelligible text to your mom, or put the dishes in the washing machine. It really depends on whether an angel or goblin is within you that day. The goblin will make you do foolish things (often messy) while the angel will make you do ordinary everyday things, but for no reason.

Then it's lights out. Don't worry, you will sleep in your bed. Even if you have to crawl, your Midazolam brain will still know where your bed is and you will tuck yourself in. I took 30mg last night. I'm not a druggie, my psychologist literally called me and told me to (her father is a psychiatrist so she sometimes helps me with med doses even though she technically shouldn't). I haven't been sleeping well because of life anxieties (losing my job) and because I'm choosing not to at times (like literally just sleeping for an hour and then getting back to some freelance work I've found. I just don't want to sleep). She's afraid it's going to trigger mania so she wants me to get a minimum of 6 hours. Not happening.

I made food for myself, took it upstairs and placed it next to my PC, then went to bed. I don't remember anything else. I only had a few hours of sleep because I woke up at midnight and have been up since then. I felt a sense of warmness and I knew I was still high as frick. I got out of bed, tried to walk, and failed. I wanted to take the tray of food downstairs but even with slow steps I fricked up and dropped it, leaving a mess I had to mop up. I don't want to sleep tonight so I won't be taking another double dose. Just 15mg which affects my gait but doesn't knock me out. Maybe I won't take one at all. Frick sleep.

2. Alprazolam

Commonly known as Xanax. This is what most people mean when they say the word "benzo". When I was in the psychiatric ward, it was routine for everyone to get a slow-release dose in the morning to lower anxiety. It gives you this calm sense of "everything is going to be alright", like the Bob Marley song lol.

Yeah, it puts you in a good mood, but it is sedating. Furthermore, at least personally, it doesn't frick with your memory too much, although you may black out if you mix it with alcohol. Even my psychologist said she likes Xanax and she was disappointed when she was weaned off it lol

It is also the benzo that is most like alcohol. It disorients you a bit, but it also takes away your filter, making you a little braver and less anxious. However, like alcohol, it fricks with your ability to act rationally. Consequently, when you see videos of people acting crazy at the airport or in a convenience store, it's most probably Xanax to blame. If you go to a doctor and complain about anxiety, this is what they'll give you.

In the black market, it is sold as a party drug. I wrote a story here about using Xanax to be brave enough to go to a nightclub.

https://rdrama.net/h/personal/post/233100/trying-to-be-normal-diaries-i

I like Xanax but it doesn't take first place mostly because of how fast tolerance develops. You can quickly make popping 10 xannies a normal thing that just puts you in that heavenly zone. I'd argue it's the most dangerous benzo on this list for this reason.

3. Clobazam

In last place comes the shittiest benzo of all - Clobazam. This is the one I typically mix with Ambien if I want a good time (and a good sleep). I'll get an hour of euphoria followed by god knows how long of a blackout before I wake up the next day. It switches off your memory completely and at high doses you actually feel sick to your stomach. I'd be disappointed if this was prescribed to me, but I wouldn't complain. Currently, my prescriptions only include Xanax (slow release) and Dormicum (Midazolam). That reminds me, I need to try scraping the film off a Xanax to check if it'll hit more quickly and strike harder. I have to do personal testing because holy shit Google has become a fricking "safe zone" that makes it impossible to research forms of degeneracy. Try learning more about a drug or anything suicide-related and all you get are these "we're here to help you" sites. Frick off and just tell me the right way to do the drug if you actually want to keep me safe. Fricking Reddit's become my new search engine of choice. At least you get actual answers to shit like this.

Bonus

Zolpidem

Might as well give Ambien a mention even though it's not a benzo. I don't have much to say except they make you drowsy as frick and want to sleep, but it won't force you into bed. You can enjoy an ambien night, though you'll forget the tail end of it. I think ambien is the one pill that makes you do the stupidest things when you black out like text your dad nonsense or make shitposts here. The worst thing I did was send a work email that was due 3 times in a row. I've also posted nonsense in Groomercord channels lol. I didn't remember doing these things and only found I did them when I woke up.

The recreational value is pretty low. I now realize the few Ambiens I have left are the only ones I have because I don't go to that doctor anymore. So about 10 pills. It takes two pills to get to that ambien drowsiness that I guess feels kinda good if you genuinely can't sleep or are a stressed-out person. Personally, I think that if you're using them for off-label reasons, I think they're only good for mixing with a benzo.

Thanks for reading, if you did. If you have insults, please don't post them. Just block me instead.

Rdrama is so white that we got scooped on this issue by fricking NBC News.

Joanna Georges, 22, of New Jersey, was excited to get her hair done. She had contacted Alexis Antoine on social media to get box braids, and paid the $100 deposit to secure her 6 a.m. spot on Antoine's schedule for Sept. 2. But the night before, Georges said, Antoine pushed her appointment, first to 8 a.m, then 9 a.m., then to 10 a.m.

“I had a feeling after waking up and seeing my appointment was pushed back that it just wasn't going to work out,” Georges told NBC News. Still, she said she made the 20-minute walk to Antoine's home for the appointment, only to get no response from the stylist.

“I'm just waiting outside her house for an hour,” she recalled. “I finally made my way home and she texted me, like, ‘I'm so sorry. I fell asleep.'”

The botched appointment set off a monthslong ordeal, with Georges urging Antoine on social media to return her security deposit. Georges said Antoine repeatedly gave excuses for not sending back the money and continued to put it off. Unsuccessful, Georges ultimately decided to sue Antoine in small claims court in Hudson County's Superior Court of New Jersey.

I figured there's got to be more so I searched "stylist" on /r/blackladies. And holy shit this is a hilarious cottage industry of random trashy bitches scamming people with their shitty dubiously licensed "small business" and I had no idea it was this bad.

I have been looking to get my ends trimmed by one of the natural stylists. I dont wear my hair straight so I dont want to get it flat ironed for a trim plus it messes with the shape of the hair. All the places are $200. I have 2 inches of hair in the longest spots. I'm happy there are people offering the service and the knowledge is there but why dont any of these places have a middle ground.

I figured out why black women are poor

black hair stylist / braiders need to realize that their services are a LUXURY not a necessity because why am i being charged an extra $25 for being 5 minutes late?

these same stylist will be 10-20 minutes late to their appointments because they can't manage time and then charge the customer for being late. these stylists need to recognize that this is not a necessity. Even the necessary appointments give us a grace period, for FREE. the lack of customer service offered from a SERVICE is baffling to me. Plus, why is the cost for knotless braids like $200+ up now?

If it's not a necessity than surely you can stop paying for it, right? (pretend this is a demand curve)

There's a lot of reasons why I turned to YouTube University School of Cosmetology.

Incidentally this is the same school the stylist went to.

On the app some stylist don't release the location of their shop until 24-48 hrs before the appt so the day before I realized I still didn't know where the shop was.

I'm not on enough levels of racism to understand why this could be !chuds any ideas?

I booked a fulani braid for juneteenth two years ago on style seat. I live in phoenix az. It was 120 degrees outside she was an hour late because she was moving from her apartment. When she finally got there and Im boiling alive in my car, she says she needs lunch. WHY BOOK ME IF YOURE BUSY???

dude I'm busy lmao

Booked the appointment and sent her a message asking if I could book a blow out as well. She said yes but it would have to be a silk press. Fine, whatever. Booked the silk press ($125) in addition to the take down ($175). Then she messaged me asking if I wanted an Olaplex treatment and trim (extra $70+). I said no thank you, I just had a trim before I had my braids put in.

She continued to try and sell me on it as being healthy for my hair, and I just said thanks again, but I'm only interested in the take down and silk press.

Then she said, "As a healthy hair stylist, that doesn't work for me. I'm cancelling both of your appointments". I asked her if she would just do the braid take down and she said no.

https://old.reddit.com/r/blackladies/comments/16f7pj4/these_hair_stylists_are_nuts/?sort=controversial

$300 deposit

Apparently these people do house calls:

We had an appointment yesterday for 9am and she texted me that she had arrived at 9:03 and there was no parking. I responded “no worries, take your time and hopefully something open up soon”

About 15 minutes later, I receive this text along with her leaving and me scrambling to find another braider:

“I've realized over the past year of service you in your home. There has been a lack of care for me as your stylist having proper parking. It would have been helpful as my client to make sure parking is available when I arrive to start in a timely manner. Unfortunately, I can't continue to service you anymore. I wish you the best in your future. God Bless. “

https://old.reddit.com/r/blackladies/comments/19bik98/hair_stylists_again/?sort=controversial

My appointment was for 8:30 [...] By 8:50am -9am, a woman shows up, opens the salon, shes not my stylist.

I introduce my self, sit on the couch and she tells me to sit in the salon chair so she can start my hair. I dont even know who she is and if she is able to even do my hair. So I comply because im desperate. Turns out to be my stylists cousin.

Then my stylist rolls in at 9:30 am, and AFTER eating, starts doing my hair around 9:50~ along with their cousin.

We really need a black

I've never had a hair appointment start on time. Like you, I usually book the earliest appointment available. That way if I'm meant to be in the chair at 9:00 a.m. I know I'll at least get started by 10:30. It's an unfortunate part of the experience.

It truly is. I didnt eat breakfast, have coffee or even have water because I was running late. I know for next time.

This is how it would feel if you didn't eat breakfast.

Would you be offended if your stylist was on the phone the whole time they were doing your hair? I think maybe a 5 or 10 minute conversation but the whole time strikes me as unprofessional and not relaxing.

i prefer it, less time i have to speak to them

They may be black women but they're still redditors

There's no non-racist way to ask this but why don't they just do whatever they did back in slavery days